I have had this experience before. I dated a guy who was all about talking consistently and spending time on the phone and texting, etc. However, we saw each other about every three weeks if that - It was very odd to me. I didn't stop the rest of my life. After a few months I did take the initiative and questioned what it was about and didn't get much of a response - He didn't seem to have a direct answer. So, I ended it. He seemed more offended and hurt by rejection rather than pushing back and fighting for me and clarifying his intentions. Oh well
While each person is different, my sense is that some guys lack the confidence in themselves to be able to participate in a full blown relationship. They enjoy having "someone" with whom to check in and enjoy a bit of communication and affection, but won't take it to another level. As an alpha female (who would like to be less alpha), I think that some guys feel that we are a bit out of their league in some ways, but get a lot of energy from us. I think some know that long-term that some of their ways won't fly with us.
It does take skill to establish and maintain meaningful connection. You never know what someone's track record might be and what that may mean to current situation. I agree with Evan about women hanging back a bit and letting things play out. That he woman can say "yes" if she chooses to what gets presented but not push. People are always telling us about themselves through their actions.
Credit: lay-reports.blogspot.com
A pua's life is not just about getting the girls.
the pick-up arts exists to "enrich your life", not define it....
-Mystery
A pua's life evolves around being better than your best self. A pua is much like an entrepreneur. He is knowledgable about things and events around him. He is competent in every thing that he does.
Much Like what mystey have told us, a PUA is
1. A leader of man
2. A protector of loved ones
3. Preselected by other women. how?
A pua has a lifestyle. Wether it is a hobby, Chilling out with friends, Humanitarian cause. A pua is there to be a benefit.
A pua has social intelligence. A pua knows that through being social is the way to be wealthy.
A pua is ABSOLUTELY VULNERABLE. Yes he is. They say that a man needs to be tough. What I say is that he can be tough if he is vulnerable. Why is that?
A real man will JUST DO what he wants. He knows the consequences, but he needs to do it. It is his life. He is not there to thought of "what if's", What if I fail? What if they laugh at me?. A real man is there to be the difference.
A pua is a high value man. Let this be YOU!
A man who has a vision and a mission.
A man who is a man
Credit: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com
By Cathy Awes
In the field of art, there exists a movement called Postmodernism. If you are not an art student, or an artist, or possibly a professor of art, there's really just one single thing you need to learn about Postmodernism. This means that you may do whatever it is that you want. Essentially, it's a melding of things that have already come before, a brand new view on old things. What does this pertain to baby clothes? Anything you want it to.
Perhaps you're a young mother who is sick of the standard choices of pink and blue, ruffled or hemmed with ribbon. Perhaps you're on your second or third child and frustrated that these styles for your baby haven't changed at and you're sick and tired of considering precisely the same thing repeatedly. Perhaps you simply don't feel like purchasing baby clothes once every two weeks when your infant grows into the following size which they will rapidly outgrow. In any case, there's a answer to your frustration.
There are several items that are not baby clothes, but could possibly be. Like what you ask? How about bandanas? That's right, your baby is tiny. If teeny bopper club girls can wear bandanas as shirts, imagine just how much baby can squeeze into one! Bandanas are perfect for summer season as a shirt or a diaper cover, and that can be accomplished with out a little bit of sewing! With a little bit of snipping and stitching, there's plenty of material for the infant sized dress or pair of pants.
Baby doll t-shirts that are manufactured for young women are ideal as dresses for older infants as well as toddlers. Sure, some of the writing on them may not be so "babyish," but some of the more neutral styles would be considerably more dressy than you could find for the same price in baby dresses. Taking your own worn out clothes, or just clothes you're sick of as material to create clothing for your baby is a great way to personalize their style through your once loved clothing. It should save money and give you a bit more space in your closet.
Do you possess a t-shirt that you once loved, but that now is stretched in an unflattering manner, or perhaps has wear spots within a specific area? In that case, you're certainly not alone! A lot of the material coming from the t-shirt could possibly be salvaged and made into a whole outfit for your own baby to play in with a simple pattern that can be purchased for less than two dollars.
There are lots of other household items that can be used to tend to your baby. A normal sized towel, for instance, can, in a matter of minutes be converted into a robe for your baby to don at the beach or when just out from the bath. While the baby is an infant, just adding some accents and a hood to the towel will likely make a less expensive replacement for designer robes, and is a one of a kind statement that you just can't buy at a mall. Let your creative mind wander before you decide to dispose of those never used scraps of cloth and old clothes. Your wallet and also your baby will say thanks.
About the Author:
Learn more about cleaning your fireplace flue. Stop by Cathy Awes's site where you can find out all about the process. If you're interested in getting a better night's sleep, check out her other site.
photo credit rec'd 5/6/14 Silver Bird http://silverbirdtv.com/news/we-will-sacrifice-our-livesucted-Chibok-girls
As previously reported in our 20/20 section on May 6th, Abubakar Shekau the Leader of the Boko Haram Islamic Extremist group, has struck again. Below are a few facts to keep you up to date on this ongoing mission to rescue the girls of Chibok and Warabe.
On April 15th, 2014 over 200 young women whom were students of the Chibok Government Girls Secondary School were kidnapped by the Boko Haram at gunpoint. They were boarded on buses to the deeply wooded areas of the Nigerian border shared by neighboring Chad and Cameroon.
EIGHT MORE GIRLS KIDNAPPED IN NIGERIA
According to reports from various news agencies including the BBC, over 40 girls bravely escaped.
As the story began to make headlines around the world, the hashtags known as #BringBackOurGirls and #234 became the moniker for the global outcry. In addition to condemnation by the United Nations and a pledge of assistance by President Obama and US Secretary of State John Kerry, celebrities such as Angelina Jolie are speaking out.
On May 3rd, 2014 hundreds of young women gathered in Union Square, New York City wearing head wraps and scarves to protest and show support for the 200+ students of the Chibok Government Girls Secondary School whom were taken.
Unfortunately, at least eight more girls have been reported kidnapped as of May 4, 2014 from the nearby village of Warabe.
Nigeria may be miles away, but girls are universal. Though our language and customs are different, we share a love of music, movies, makeup and dreams. These young women were attending school to further their education and become successful.
As the Nigerian military goes on a dangerous mission to Bring Back Our Girls, we hope and pray that the Boko Haram is brought to justice and more importantly, that every girl is returned safe and sound.
Written by: Latoya Hoyte
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I have left a relationship, and still hurting. My partner had in her mind the ideal relationhip with the ideal man. The efforts to change me to fit that ideal were great and I was so overwhelmed. I raised this and was told I was fighting the change all the way. Yes,i was. I was the same guy she met and fell in love with. Why this moulding process? All to do with past relationships; rather than love me as I am, the past dictated. She is now in another relationship doing the same The new guys thinks he's the luckiest guy alive right now but he is targeted for change! I am saddened but my silent screams made me realize the relationship fit was wrong. Still, I feel the loss of the dreams we we'd planned to share, but the resentment that was built towards me made this lovely lady say I was second best To an ideal! I have insight into this behaviour from her girlfriend as to why this existed, but she is at that pre contemplative stage, and stuck there. So, I left. It was not apparent when we met, or I missed it. It has been terrible, and I wonder how does one identify underlying damaging for a relationship.
Credit: pualib.blogspot.com
Do you secretly wish that your guy showers you with more affection than what you are getting now? Then here are the excellent ways in which you can get him to give you more affection without seeming desperate about it.
YOUR CONFIDENCE AND INDEPENDENCE IS THE KEY
When you are a confident and independent woman who knows what she desires and is not dependent on her guy to make her life worthwhile, your guy is going to admire you for it and surely love you and shower all his affection on you as he considers you as his asset.
BE HIS PRIDE
When others see how good you are together and envy him for having such a wonderful woman he will surely be proud of you and appreciate that you are part of his life. His love and affection for you will obviously grow as he values you.
APPRECIATE HIM
Girls are used to receiving compliments but that does not mean guys don't like being complimented, they too have feelings. Appreciate things that he does for you, tell him what you like about him or compliment him on his achievements. Make him feel special and he will reciprocate by showering you with all the love and affection.
DON'T BE A CONTROL FREAK
Do not try to control him or be too demanding as this will put him off and he may not like you for it. Obviously he will not be able to respond with affection when you put him down. Respect his decisions and show that you value his opinion even if you may not agree to his point of view.
SHOW THAT YOU ARE HAPPY WITH HIM
When you show that you are happy in his company and how much you enjoy being with him it makes him feel special. Instead of being a nag or showing dissatisfaction over small things, ignore them while concentrating on the good things of your relationship and get the affection of your guy for being an understanding partner.
MAKE HIM AWARE HOW MUCH HE NEEDS YOU
Show him that you like doing things for him because you love him and care for him. Let him realize that you are investing your time and effort to make this relationship special and he will know your importance in his life and that makes him show his love for you.
MAKE HIM MISS YOU
Take off on a short trip with your friends and get loads of affection in bargain when you return as he realizes how much he missed you when you were not around.
Need to pracite what you'd just learned? Find your match on a free dating site.
This article is brought to you by Dating Advice Blog.
A Modesto teacher has left his wife and kids and quit his job to move in with his 18-year-old former student. The teacher, 41-year-old James Hooker, resigned from his position at James Enochs High School last week after investigations were launched into his relationship with a student. His girlfriend, 18-year-old Jordan Powers is a senior used to be a student in Hooker's class. "He's 41, she's 18, it's legal but gross," one student said. The situation has cast a dark cloud over the school, where one of Hooker's daughters attends and where Hooker was actively involved with students. "I feel like he took advantage of the situation," student Erica Goynes said, "and it's tough for us because he wasn't an anonymous teacher. He was involved in so many clubs and in so many aspects of our school, so it's just very disappointing foreverybody here." During a short phone interview, Hooker told CBS13 he started dating powers after she turned 18 on Sept. 5. But the teen's mother believes the inappropriate relationship started while her daughter was underage. Students at Enochs High have heard the same thing. "She was 14 when they first got together," one student said. "That's pretty disgusting, a guy like an old man would try and go with a really young girl." Hooker recently left his wife and children, one almost the same age as Powers, and moved into an apartment with his teen lover. The teacher-student romance spurred controversy and Hooker resigned from his position as a high school business teacher and club leader last week after being placed on paid administrative leave while the school district and Modesto Police Department investigate the relationship. Some parents expressed relief that Hooker is no longer on campus. "It's definitely wrong of him to pursue her in any way while he was still a teacher," said parent Nicole Peacock. Modesto police say the relationship remains under investigation. No criminal charges have been filed.Filed under: Local, News, Seen On, Syndicated Local, Watch + Listen
Origin: japan-pickup-scene.blogspot.com
"When I was younger, I definitely always imagined that the morning of my 23rd birthday would involve sleepily typing out a review of Anna Karenina "at 3am in a scraggy Nintendo 3DS t-shirt". "Except I think the fantasy may have had a lot more sambuca shots, party hats and uhh... fun. Did I know what sambuca was at twelve? Probably not. I kind of wish I didn't at 23, to be honest. Yick.
"Anyway. "This review is a couple of days late, but I couldn't work out what to say I was busy sleeping and getting older. Ah well, I've written a lot about the novel over the last month, so click the following for my thoughts on the relevant parts:
Parts One and TwoParts Three and FourParts Five and SixParts Seven and Eight
And for those of you that "haven't "been avidly following my every rambling thought on "Anna Karenina "(shame on you!)", "here's a normal, sparkly review instead.
Plot summary: "Anna Karenina seems to have everything - beauty, wealth, popularity and an adored son. But she feels that her life is empty until the moment she encounters the impetuous officer Count Vronsky. Their subsequent affair scandalizes society and family alike and soon brings jealously and bitterness in its wake. Contrasting with this tale of love and self-destruction is the vividly observed story of Levin, a man striving to find contentment and a meaning to his life - and also a self-portrait of Tolstoy himself."
You'd be amazed how hard it was to find a plot summary that didn't make it feel like an 800 page 19th Century Russian classic... oh wait. That's the thing though - it really "doesn't "feel like that. It shocked me how easy it was to get into the story and how accessible the language was. I wouldn't have said it was an easy read, but I didn't even have to refer to the list of characters at the front - somehow my head managed to keep the characters and their relationships straight without any trouble at all. It was a nice surprise.
Speaking of characters, I had the Wordsworth edition, translated from the Russian by Louise and Aylmer Maude. Story good, translation not so good. They tend to change the characters names as well as the prose, which doesn't make a whole lot of sense. Surely names are names, regardless of language? As an illustration - the bloke down the road is called Steve. The mechanic in the shop is called Steve. My best friend's Dad is called Steve. The Russian Prince Stephen Arkadyevich Oblonsky, however, should "not "be called Steve.
Seriously, they translated it as 'Steve.' A minor point in the whole grand scheme of things, but "come on. "It went 'clunk' in my head every time I read it. Idiots.
I do seem the have got the whole character thing backwards though. I read a lot of the other bloggers' Read Along posts, I noticed that the vast majority didn't really like Anna herself as a person while I really, really did. She actually reminded me of myself quite a lot. I don't mean her circumstances, because obviously I've never abandoned my husband and child to run off with another man, but we just seem to have vaguely similar thought patterns. Not necessarily in a good way - she 'mind-reads' and works herself round in circles to end up at the worst possible result. I don't know, I just kind of felt for her. A lot of her situation was her own doing, but if this happened in modern society she would clearly be on some sort of medication.
I just want to hug her and give her a cup of tea. She gave up everything for Vronsky, "of course "she's worried about losing him.
" And recalling all the cruel words he had uttered, Anna invented other words which he evidently had wished to say and could have said to her, and she grew more and more exasperated."
'"I do not hold you,' he might have said. 'You may go where you please. You probably did not wish to be divorced from your husband so that you could go back to him. Go back! If you need money, I will give you some. How many roubles do you want?'"
" All the cruellest words that a coarse man could say he, in her imagination, said to her, and she did not forgive him for them any more than if he had really said them. " It did surprise me how the novel isn't actually that much about Anna herself, considering that she's the title character. Obviously she's a part of it, but the other five or so main characters just have as much 'screen-time' as she does, if not more. The narrative changes whose point of view it follows regularly, but Anna and Vronsky's situation can be left alone for many chapters at a time.
A lot of the other bloggers seem to have a thing for Levin, which I don't really understand. I mean, he's acceptable as a secondary character but I just didn't think he stood out in any way. He seemed fairly flat, and a lot of the parts in his POV involved "huge "ranty monologues about farming or politics.
Good Lord, "the farming. "The huge majority of Part Three is just Levin talking with his acquaintances about farming, and it was fairly disheartening to fall in love with the book during Parts One and Two and then have to skim 80 pages about crop rotation. Then again, much later in the book, Levin goes on a field trip to an election and I once again wanted to hurl the book at Leo Tolstoy's head. Even "he "didn't understand what was going on, so how was "I "meant to!?
I really can't emphasise enough how tedious these parts are, but it's partly because the interesting parts of the book are so accessible that these stand out even more. The experiences of Anna, Vronsky, Kitty and a few others are fascinating and the author writes in such a way that you may as well be in their head. There's a lot of description, but it doesn't really halt the flow of the book.
And the ending, oh the ending. I still think that Parts Seven and Eight should have been the other way round - finishing off the 800 page novel with a stodgy Levin chapter just doesn't make a whole lot of sense - but the "real "ending was marvellous. I mean, it hurt me to my very core, but it's one I'll definitely remember for a long, long time. I suppose it does fit in with the message Tolstoy was trying to convey about adulterous women getting their comeuppance. Still, like I said above, I "liked "Anna!
So, to finally wrap-up a whole month of reading "Anna Karenina"... I really liked this book. I'm 100% positive it didn't need to be anywhere near that long, nor did it need such lengthy, dry conversations about farming and politicals (or, in occasional and suicide-inducing moments, "both"), but I felt that the other parts more than make up more it. It's actually a surprisingly accessible lengthy classic about a woman who gives up everything for love.
Read my thoughts on the upcoming "Anna Karenina "movie!
Third dates are often taken for granted by men due to their belief that they have done everything as far as laying down the groundwork for a possible relationship. On the contrary, third dates are in fact crucial because they are both a milestone as well as a hurdle. On one hand, you have presented yourself positively on the first two dates (hence the third). On the other, you might just break your streak by becoming a bit too complacent. Listed below are 5 best tips for third date advice including practical tips on how you can impress a woman further as well as avoid committing common blunders that could hurt your chances at a fourth date. THIRD DATE ADVICE #1: CHOOSE A MORE COMFORTABLE SETTING While first dates are usually tension packed, third dates are supposed to be more relaxed since you have already met a couple of times and are no longer complete strangers. As a general rule, it falls on the men to make their date as comfortable as possible, hence the need to choose a more informal date setting. For starters, if you choose to make a date out of a meal, be sure to pick a restaurant where diners need not dress up to get in the door. A nice French bistro or posh Deli would be a great venue for a third date because you and your date can be comfortable and still expect great tasting food and beverages. You might also want to give your date a heads up about the casual nature of the date so she can dress accordingly. Women generally do not like it when they get all dolled up for nothing because it takes them hours to get ready for a date, especially when going to formal restaurants.Third Date Advice #2: Go Easy on the Liquor The purpose of the third date is to get to know each other a bit better, not make a fool of yourself in a public place. While it is perfectly acceptable to have a glass of wine (or two depending on your personal limit), it is never wise to treat the date like a pub-crawl. Drinking too much liquor does not only lead to poor judgement, but it also send the wrong message to your date. Ladies like it when their date is present and sober, especially those who prefer long and interesting conversations. THIRD DATE ADVICE #3: GET CLOSE BUT NOT TOO CLOSE Physical contact (not counting the goodbye kiss on the cheek) is expected on the third date. However, there are certain ground rules men should observe so they do not come off as disrespectful to their dates and women in general. For instance, leaning in for a kiss on the lips is perfectly acceptable. However, using too much tongue may be considered too forward and sometimes downright off putting. One of the best ways to initiated contact is by taking the lady's hand and touching it lightly while having a pleasant conversation. This gesture is both intimate and respectful at the same time, which would be greatly appreciated by your date. THIRD DATE ADVICE #4: BRING A SMALL TOKEN OR GIFT Presents are always welcome regardless of how long you have been dating a woman. However, the third date gift is crucial because it sends a powerful message to a woman. Practically anything that costs between 20 and 50 is acceptable, but the gift needs a bit of personal touch. For instance, if your date previously mentioned that she likes reading and is a fan of a particular author, you might want to bring a hardback copy of such author's latest work. Do not be tempted to give jewelery as a gift, regardless of whether or not you can afford it. While most women love jewelery, wildly expensive gifts sends the wrong message to your date, and can potentially harm the future relationship. THIRD DATE ADVICE #5: TALK ABOUT THE FUTURE If you are planning to date a woman for the foreseeable future, it is best to mention the future. Telling your date that you are having a great time and that you would love to see more of her in the near future would make her feel appreciated and wanted. Setting a particular date for your next meeting is not necessary, but you might want to mention a few ideas on where to go or what to do the next time you get together. These third date advice tips will not only ensure that you have a great third date, but they would also help in building a great relationship if you choose to get serious down the road.CLICK HERE TO FIND OUT HOW TO TURN YOUR THIRD DATE INTO A FOURTH
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Source: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
LEARN HOW TO HYPNOTIZE SOMEONE BY PARAM PUJYA GURU RAJNEESH RISHI JI
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LEARN HOW TO HYPNOTIZE SOMEONE BY PARAM PUJYA GURU RAJNEESH RISHI JI, WORLD FAMOUS SPIRITUAL GURU IN 133 COUNTRIES, SHANI MANDIR WALE, NEW DELHI. INDIA.
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NOTE : PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS INFORMATION GIVEN IN THE VIDEO SHOULD NOT BE USED WITH ANY BAD INTENTIONS AND SHOULD BE ALWAYS USE IN OUR GUIDANCE.
HOW TO HYPNOTIZE SOMEONE ? HYPNOSIS IS "A SPECIAL PSYCHOLOGICAL STATE WITH CERTAIN PHYSIOLOGICAL ATTRIBUTES, RESEMBLING SLEEP ONLY SUPERFICIALLY AND MARKED BY A FUNCTIONING OF THE INDIVIDUAL AT A LEVEL OF AWARENESS OTHER THAN THE ORDINARY CONSCIOUS STATE." ACCORDING TO "STATE THEORY", IT IS A MENTAL STATE, WHILE, ACCORDING TO "NON-STATE THEORY", IT IS IMAGINATIVE ROLE-ENACTMENT.WHILE UNDER THIS STATE OF MIND, ONE'S FOCUS AND CONCENTRATION IS HEIGHTENED. THIS INDIVIDUAL IS ABLE TO CONCENTRATE INTENSELY ON A SPECIFIC THOUGHT OR MEMORY, WHILE BLOCKING OUT ALL POSSIBLE SOURCES OF DISTRACTION. HYPNOSIS IS USUALLY INDUCED BY A PROCEDURE KNOWN AS A HYPNOTIC INDUCTION, WHICH IS COMMONLY COMPOSED OF A LONG SERIES OF PRELIMINARY INSTRUCTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS. HYPNOTIC SUGGESTIONS MAY BE DELIVERED BY A HYPNOTIST IN THE PRESENCE OF THE SUBJECT, OR MAY BE SELF-ADMINISTERED ("SELF-SUGGESTION" OR "AUTOSUGGESTION"). THE USE OF HYPNOTISM FOR THERAPEUTIC PURPOSES IS REFERRED TO AS "HYPNOTHERAPY", WHILE ITS USE AS A FORM OF ENTERTAINMENT FOR AN AUDIENCE IS KNOWN AS "STAGE HYPNOSIS".
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My buddy David saw his letter in yesterday's episode, and erupted with a continuation of his epiphany, which has even more valuable insights that you won't want to miss, so read on!If you missed yesterday's episode, you really missed a treat, so go back and catch up. Today's is even more insightful and significant than yesterday, as the floodgates appear to have been opened. Without further ado, more from my friend David:THANK YOU!I could tell it had all the earmarks and thanks for further clarifying some of the points, which inspired me further:Stress basically comes from what? Doing things we don't want to do, feel compelled to do or don't enjoy doing. Being an Alpha Male is who we are meant to be and nature gears us up for it from the moment of conception according to all scientific evidence. We are genetically programmed for it and are hence born to be precisely and elegantly an Alpha Male, nothing less.So when you throw in the BS of trying to get us to be anything other than MALE, our stress levels rise accordingly because we are doing something AGAINST OUR NATURE! As you pointed out, it is not a question of gearing ourselves up for more stress to save our relationships, it's a question of how much relief we want in our lives, our relationships and our minds.How popular was the song "Take This Job and Shove It!" because it echoed so many peoples despair over their jobs? When it finally clicks in men's minds how HUGE a stress it is for a woman to be bored, is it any surprise she's ready to sing "Take This Relationship And Shove It?" because it has all the earmarks of being a JOB now and not a source of pleasure, safety, trust, fun and excitement, or anything positive at all?We all fantasize about being free. How magic a honeymoon is because you have PERMISSION to enjoy yourselves with no restraints. Run on the beach naked? No Problem! Tickle and tease? Go for it! Get frisky wherever and whenever? Hoo Yah!What restrains this behavior at home? It's not the kids, it's not the job, it's not her. You have stopped giving yourself PERMISSION to be yourself. You have now become locked up behind the cell door of "expected behavior" and the constant stress that goes with it. Your creativity goes by the doormat, your fun hangs on the coat rack by the door, and your stress amps up as you walk in. You now have two jobs. Work and home. Is it any wonder things go south? Now your relationship and marriage has turned into a job, a bad job, for both of you! And at this point, could life together such any worse? Not much!Why do we lose patience with those who are not men any longer? Because nobody tolerates a fake. Someone who lives a lie in an attempt to please. Our natures scream against it. We are following our nature when we seek to open the eyes of those in lock down. Yet they - like a caged bird - have grown so used to it being "normal," they no longer see the bars. It has become safe, and they have become your "comfortably unhappy." Our frustration grows because we are trying to free them and they don't want it. It's too hard. It's too much work. They're safe. The constant bombardment of whining wears anyone down. You can hear so much of it before it becomes sickening. It becomes so clear, so obvious you stare in disbelief how obvious it is and they can't see it!And just how safe is it if she's out the door after trying, fighting and begging you to step up and you keep closing the door every time she tries to open it? She wants her man back and he only wants his safety. It is a fact lions, tigers and most any large animal in a zoo will fight to keep its territory in that little cage even when offered a larger open space in front of it. They have to poke and prod it into freedom. What size prod will it take for men to learn?D.H. Lawrence wrote a lot of poetry, and some of it sounds strange until you find the context, such as one that was featured in "G.I. Jane" (another shining example of women acting more like a man than men do):"I never saw a wild thing feeling sorry for itself. A bird will fall, frozen dead, from a bough, without ever having felt sorry for itself."I never saw the significance of that until we started discussing this, and the lion analogy reminded me that we were once wild, but now, like the lion, we can't tell the difference between what we have and something better, and feel sorry for ourselves because "she just doesn't understand," and "we do everything for them and they just don't care." Yeah, right.The question would then simplify to - "Do you give yourself permission to be a man or do you enjoy your cage too much?" Asking someone else's permission does not free you of responsibility. It adds to it. It now makes YOU responsible for yours and her decisions because you didn't make them. You may see the responsibility as being hers because she made it. What you have done in fact is make her FEEL responsible for not only her issues, but now she has to take care of yours as well. Now she is feeling more caged by the minute. Trapped behind bars she does not want, did not build and YOU put her there. Any wonder she starts to resent you?So if any man ever asks a woman for permission as an attempt to be sensitive, what he is asking her in her mind is, consciously or not, for her to join him in his cell, in his enslavement, in his BOREDOM. What woman in her right mind would agree to any such thing? Is it any wonder every instinct in her is screaming 'LEAVE RIGHT NOW!" Or that eventually, if he doesn't straighten up, she listens to the voices inside and either leaves or puts him out?Think about what being true to our nature means. One aspect is being able to sense the falseness in others. It becomes easier to tell from the smallest of hints. Women cultivate their true nature as a part of growing up. It builds and enhances their nature to more effectively deal with life and their relationships. Because they are strengthening their true nature, anyone being false hasn't a chance of fooling them. It's also why when they are not being true to their nature but fighting against it as most feminists do, it's harder for them to tell when someone is false.Understanding body language helps, but when you sense it as a part of your nature, it takes minimal education to its nuances for the recognition to expand.Is the light of truth harsh reality or a beacon of freedom?Harsh reality slaps you in the face with papers, storming out the door in anger, or affairs.The beacon of freedom frees you from the need to act, to pretend, to lie to yourself or her any longer.And if you don't have to pretend any more, think what freedom that gives you to have some fun again! There is no longer any pressure to "perform!" No longer wondering what will set her off or make her happy. It's now simply a matter of who you are that makes her wet just thinking about what is to come.Her tests are easy to pass because you simply react as a man. You don't have to learn how to handle each situation in detail. You don't need examples. You simply call it what it is, make it clear you know what's up and she'll love you for it.Maybe that's why there's such a negative reaction by women growing stronger and more outraged at all the dating and attraction "skills" being taught. They find out about them, check to see if you're using them and make it clear in no uncertain terms what they think of you. I even saw a CSI Miami episode where the women were having great fun making fun of and embarrassing men "caught in the act" of "running game" on them.To my mind it also taints the image of what men perceive about fixing relationships. It's learning another set of skills to deal better with their women when in fact it's nothing of the kind. Like you said. It's about being reborn as the man you were intended to be. Stop looking at it as a skill, an act, a set of learned behaviors you need to practice. It's learning to forgive yourself for the mistakes you've made and realizing nothing would please her more than to see you making mistakes and having successes on your way to being the man she wants. The mistakes she'll forgive, and help you learn from when she sees you actually doing something. The successes she'll reward you with in ways you had no clue she was ready to give you to make sure they keep coming!Finally it will begin to sink in she REALLY DOES want you to succeed. It's in her best interest, her long term sanity and safety. She can relax and be your woman when you relax and BE her man. The nagging and carping stop when you begin. Then maybe you'll realize the picking at you is not her trying to drive you nuts, it's her trying to wake you up! Once she knows you are back among the living again and not hiding behind "expected behaviors" anymore, the rewards won't cease.Oops! Gotta get ready for work. I've been thinking the logical conclusion to this is how misunderstood the picture of an Alpha Male is in most men's minds. It's gotten so idealized it seems unapproachable, when indeed it is our natural state.Later!DavidAre you getting all of this? Could it be made any clearer for you? This is the way of the world, and if you don't "believe" it, ask a woman! Ask her what it feels like to be with a man who bores her, a man who doesn't listen to her, a man who won't step up and act like a man, a man who won't lead, and either whines about having to make decisions or even worse, is so insecure that in lieu of leading, he attempts to control everything, including her. I did...Indeed, I asked a great many, and learned from them. And I taught their boyfriends and husbands, and we then refined everything and once it was all proven, I began teaching other men, and they in turn are teaching thousands more as they live in relationships and marriages that most would think impossible, when indeed if a foundation of compatibility is there, true happiness that lasts is easily attainable.Care to join us? Go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" and get started. Or stay in your cage. It's your choice, so make a good one.In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!David Cunningham"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham
Hello Blog Readers!
So, after Going Bovine, I briefly read The Boyfriend List by E. Lockhart in one day, since I had heard so much about it and it was due at the library soon.
The Boyfriend List is about Ruby Oliver. A girl who was reasonably happy, that is, until she kissed her ex boyfriend and her social life blew to smithereens. She goes to therapy now. Her psychologist asked her to write a list of all the boys she was romantically involved with. This is her story.
I loved this book! Ruby was a quirky and fun character. I liked the pacing and the chapter structure as well as the writing. Also I loved how the frog on the cover was relevant to the novel. Really well done novel, although I preferred The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks. One question though: What is up with E. Lockhart's protagonists always falling in love with assholes? Something to ponder.
Like my new background? I needed a change. I might try to get someone to do it for me though, if I come across the money to do so. *sighs* Also, I'm considering having a review structure so my reviews are more fun and interesting. Any suggestions? I'd love input!
Emma Out!
Origin: dominant-male.blogspot.com
This is the final scene of the 1999 movie The Big Kahuna. The movie is about three salesmen who are on a business trip together. Over the course of the movie, the trip goes terribly, clients are lost, and the characters end up questioning themselves as well as the meaning of "honest" human interaction.
The scene is beautifully done. Watching the full movie gives it even greater context and meaning as well.
What Danny DeVito's character talks about in regards to equating honesty to curiosity, and how life's mistakes and regrets are what build character are deeply in line with the first section of my book. You can approach women as a human with curiosity. Or you can approach them as a marketing rep, trying to pitch yourself to them. One is a man of character and one isn't. And as DeVito says, a man with character (or attractiveness) has it tattooed across his face -- it's impossible to hide or fake or even demonstrate, as it's always being demonstrated in everything he does.
There's another great scene in this movie where Kevin Spacey's character (Larry, off-screen), asks "Bob," the young evangelical Christian being lectured above, if he and his wife married each other because they loved each other, or married each other because of their principles (religion). Bob is obviously horrified by this question. Larry says something to the tune of, "You're a principled person Bob. Your wife is too. You both stand for something, which is great. But sometimes people don't marry the person, they marry the principles. Are you sure you and your wife didn't marry each other's principles?"
What this all gets to is that to have a true connection and true attraction between two people, one must present oneself honestly. And to present oneself honestly, one must be self-aware, or as DeVito says above, one must have regrets -- one must be aware of one's own faults and have practiced self-forgiveness. Because you can't accept and love the faults in others until you accept and love the faults in yourself.
Rather, you'll only fall in love with their pitch, with their marketing rep; and they with yours. And you will lock each other into a relationship based on principle, not personality.
Source: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com
B"H
Great idea! Deport the gentile neo-nazis! If only we would have had that law when Arafat was still alive... oh, yeah, I forgot... he was a nazi, not a neo-nazi...
M
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/123630
by Ezra HaLevi
(IsraelNN.com) Israeli Police have busted a group of Israeli neo-Nazis in the Tel Aviv region and found a gun and explosives. The youths are non-Jewish immigrants from the Former Soviet Union.
Although the nine arrests were made a month ago, a gag order on the case was in place until Saturday night. Police had been investigating over 20 people involved with the group ever since the vandalizing of a large synagogue in Petach Tikvah over a year ago. The neo-Nazis had painted the walls, as well as the insides of prayer books, with Nazi graffiti.
The teenagers are from Holon, Petach Tikvah and even the Samaria town of Karnei Shomron. They reportedly have ties with neo-Nazi groups overseas via the Internet and some boast Nazi tattoos.
When police raided the homes of the neo-Nazis, they found video documentation of dozens of other crimes. The group's members had been found to regularly beat religious Jews and foreign workers in Tel Aviv. One video shows members of the group surrounding a Russian heroin addict and, after the man admits he is Jewish, beating him mercilessly, along with another man who tries to assist him.
The group was also found to have in its possession explosives and an M-16 assault rifle.
The members remain in police custody and an indictment in the case is expected Tuesday.
Police say all the members of the neo-Nazi cell received Israeli citizenship, which grants citizenship to anybody with a third-degree Jewish relative - even by marriage. The policy has come under criticism in the past, with the Jewish Agency coming under attack for continuing to allot resources to recruiting descendents of Russian Jewry to immigrate even after nearly all Russian Jews who wished to leave had done so. In recent years, as high as 40 percent of those immigrating from Russia are non-Jews according to Jewish law.
Interior Minister Meir Sheetrit says, "Giving automatic Israeli citizenship without making any demands is worth zero. We have to change our immigration laws to those of a regular state... Jews from all around the world are invited to live here, but first they must be temporary residents, and prove they are loyal to the State, and only then can they become citizens - and not the opposite."
ADL Defends, MKs Outraged
The Anti-Defamation League, founded to protect Jews from neo-Nazi groups and anti-Semitism, released a hasty statement in Hebrew from its Israel office in defense of the neo-Nazi group. "The youth are angry at Israelis for holding them in contempt and lash out with hatred," the statement said, calling upon Jewish Israelis not to blame all Christian immigrants from Russia for the behavior of a "fringe group."
MK Effie Eitam (National Union) said he plans on submitting legislation that will prevent non-Jews from immigrating to Israel under the Law of Return. The legislation would require matrilineal Jewish roots. "In recent years the State of Israel has become a refuge for people whose hatred of Jews and Zionists burns in their hearts," he said.
The current formulation of the law is based on the early Zionist premise that anyone who would have been considered a Jew under Adolf Hitler's Nuremberg Laws should be considered Jewish for the sake of immigration to Israel.
MK Zevulun Orlev (NRP) and MK Collette Avital (Labor) each said they would also submit legislation that would strip neo-Nazis of their Israeli citizenship and deport them to their countries of origin, after first serving prison terms. Former Interior Minister Eli Yishai (Shas) also echoed the call for deportation, calling the neo-Nazi groups an "erosive cancer" in Israeli society.
Gossip is and will always be a part of the work environment. Whether it's during a quick chat over a morning cup of coffee or a marathon session at happy hour, we've all started or repeated a rumor about someone in their absence. In fact, employees gossip up to sixty-five hours a year at work, according to a July 2002 survey by Equisys. That's a lot of time wasted around the water cooler.Counterproductive gossip and its contagious effects drain people's time and energy, destroy morale, and stifle creativity. Unfortunately, the rise of social media and interoffice technology is making it easier to start a rumor. You don't even need to rally an audience. A harmless IM can spread around the office like wildfire and have serious consequences. But it's not always so innocent. Some people plant rumors just to sully someone's reputation and get ahead. So what are you to do? Can you get ahead without joining the conversation? Is it so wrong to want to feel included, even if it comes at another's expense? Besides, if it's not her, it could be me, right? Wrong. You can survive and thrive without maligning relationships and alienating others. Here's how to deal with gossip without crippling your career.Next Page: If Your Coworker Is A Gossip [page]IF YOUR BOSS OR COWORKER IS A GOSSIP: Let's face it. Gossip is rarely frowned upon. In fact, depending on the company's culture, many offices actually encourage it, especially if there's an insecure boss at the helm. When employers keep secrets from employees, and employees keep secrets from one another, before you know it, the entire office is riddled with backhanded conversation, backstabbing, and conniving. People are so preoccupied with "he said, she said" banter, they lose sight of the bigger picture: a hard day's work. When gossip is used as a way to climb the organizational ladder, relieve pressure, or deal with change, it's difficult to escape. So how do you avoid jumping on the rumor mill wagon without alienating yourself?ZIP YOUR LIPS - Once the gossiper starts tempting you to take part in the chat, refuse to play by saying "I'm not comfortable talking about that." But remember, even if you're simply listening to the gabfest, you're still egging the offender on. You're only innocent if you don't participate at all.TURN THE TABLES - Most gossips try to stay on top of the grapevine to keep attention off themselves. Flush out their insecurities by asking them personal questions about their own love lives, interests, or problems. They may change their ways once the scrutiny is on them. TRUST NO ONE - Women's job satisfaction tends to skyrocket when they work in a cohesive, nurturing environment. But don't be fooled. You may have developed lasting friendships, but if it comes to a coworker choosing between loyalty and job security, which do you think she'd pick? If you feel the need to complain, get with friends who don't work for the same company. DEMAND STRAIGHT TALK - If your boss or coworker gives you honest feedback, there's no need to involve a third party or have to go on the prowl for information. A good leader is transparent and direct, even at the risk of being hurtful and harsh. This goes for employees as well. Your boss is not a mind reader - voice your concerns. Don't resort to whispering in the restrooms! Next Page: If You're A Gossip [page]IF YOU'RE A GOSSIP: We gossip to position ourselves above others. But you almost always look bad discussing someone else's shortcomings. People see you for what you are - an insecure tattletale hiding behind others. And by the way, no one is exempt from being talked about. Not even you. Plus, your loose lips could easily sink your chances of advancement. No boss is going to promote someone who appears to enjoy telling tales. But you can be in the know without talking behind someone's back. So what do you do if you're part of the problem?STOP - Bad habits can be unlearned. So why should you? Being known as the water cooler girl kills your credibility. People will come to you for useless info and nothing more.BECOME TRUSTWORTHY - Confidentiality is king in any business. If your boss doesn't think you can keep a secret, you're less likely to be privy to significant info that affects the organization. If you can't hang with the movers and shakers, how will you get up the ladder? REFOCUS YOUR SKILLS - You've proven you can hold an audience and tell a good story. Why not use your powers for good? Use your social skills to build alliances and relationships that help the business rather than tear it down. UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTION - Ask yourself why you are participating in the mudslinging. Are you dissatisfied with your job? Are you jealous? Self awareness helps you understand what's behind your words and may prevent you from saying something you'll regret.USE YOUR WORDS - When you withhold info from a coworker to spare her feelings, the truth can fester and potentially blow up at the most inopportune time. You may use the inside scoop as a weapon if she gets on your nerves down the road. Honesty is the best policy. IF YOU PLAY, PLAY SMART - If you absolutely must take part in the gossip, keep it light and tactful. Never say anything you wouldn't like seeing sent around the office with your name attached. Next Page: Why Not Stop The Gossip? [page]WHY DON'T PEOPLE STOP GOSSIPING? Why don't workers recognize their gossip's harmful effect on office productivity? And if they do, what keeps them from putting a stop to it? Gossiping is a vice because it seems like a victimless crime. You don't always see the effects of your hurtful words. Controlling your mouth is even more difficult when your job is on the line. With job security as a number one priority, gossip often becomes fair play if it means getting a leg up on the competition. Here are a few other reasons why cubicles remain breeding grounds for rumors:LACK OF AWARENESS - One of the biggest reasons gossip is so pervasive in offices is coworkers aren't aware they are even taking part. Office babble has become such a natural part of the workday that people fail to see the repercussions. If you need an excuse to fill the dead air, talk about your weekend and not who you saw doing what with whom. PAYOFF - Gossip is a socialization process that binds people together, even if it's in a malicious way. Being part of the "in" crowd (sound like high school?) and having some tidbit to add to the powwow gives a sense of inclusion. And if you're part of the clique, ahem, team, you're more likely to be picked for projects and promotions. Unfortunately, sometimes it's not what you know or even who you know, but how much you know about others that can give you an edge (at least in the short term).RATIONALIZATION - Corporate cultures are more cutthroat than ever. People are made to feel that gossip is a necessary evil and you must be manipulative to survive. You either use it to your advantage or become a victim. FEAR - Many coworkers engage in gossip either to look good or avoid looking bad. You're either doing the talking or being talked about. If you unexpectedly withdraw from the conversation, you could be seen as a tattletale or traitor. Is it worth the potentially alienating side effects? Yes. GOOD INTENTIONS - Is it gossip if you tell everyone that Janie from accounting is going through a divorce? Were you trying to hurt her reputation or just chewing the fat? Intent doesn't matter. Once it's out of your mouth, you have no control over how your listener relays the message. Don't be the source and you'll have nothing to worry about. Gossip is not easy to escape. And it's not all bad. It can help build friendships, build teamwork, and even help new hires get acclimated with the company culture. Plus, some gossip's worth hearing as long as you resist passing it along. But that's where it gets tricky. The best advice is to steer clear of any negative conversations about someone who is out of earshot. That way you won't feel guilty about participating in the gossip grapevine or attract people who enjoy cutting others down. Instead, foster an environment where people feel comfortable talking out in the open about their ideas and opinions. Then there will be no need for gossip in the first place. Source: Games at Work, Mauricio Goldstein [widget:related reads conflict]
I HAVE DRAFTED THIS POST OVER AND OVER TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT WAY TO EXPLAIN HOW I FINALLY BEAT MY 26 YEAR ADDICTION TO CIGARETTES AND TOBACCO. I HAVE TRIED QUITTING COLD TURKEY MANY MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE ONLY TO FAIL. I HAVE TRIED THE PATCH, PILLS, THE GUM, YOU NAME IT, I'VE TRIED IT (EXCEPT THE ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES) BUT THIS TIME I DECIDED THAT IF I AM GOING TO QUIT I DO NOT WANT A REPLACEMENT BUT A WAY TO FINALLY QUIT FOR GOOD!
NOW, MY QUIT IS STILL VERY NEW SO I AM BEING DILIGENT IN KEEPING AN EYE ON MY TRIGGERS WHICH ARE NORMALLY STRESS RELATED OR EMOTIONAL RELATED. I DID HAVE SOME HABITS LIKE MY FIRST MORNING CIGARETTE WITH COFFEE (BIG ONE!) BUT THROUGH THIS PROCESS, I REALIZED THAT I SMOKED OUT OF BOREDOM..A LOT!
I WOULD HEM AND HAW ABOUT QUITTING AS I STATED IN THE BEGINNING OF 2011 THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE YEAR I QUIT AND STARTED OFF VERY STRONG ONLY TO GO RIGHT BACK WITHIN A FEW WEEKS. ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO I WAS SEARCHING YET AGAIN TO FIND A WAY FOR ME TO 'COMFORTABLY' QUIT SMOKING. LET ME SAY THIS...COMFORTABLE WAS HUGE FOR ME BECAUSE ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THIS KNOWS THAT THIS IS NOT EASY NOR IS IT COMFORTABLE WHICH IS WHY GOING COLD TURKEY NEVER WORKED FOR ME.
THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS I PERSONALLY WENT THROUGH WERE HORRIBLE AND AS I POSTED ON MY OTHER BLOG THE RAW GODDESS, SMOKING IS AN ADDICTION AND THAT IS THE WAY I TREATED THIS ALL ALONG WITH WHAT I WILL EXPLAIN FURTHER. FOR ME, I NEEDED TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE MIND WORKED IN ACCORDANCE TO NICOTINE ADDICTION SO I WENT ABOUT RESEARCHING THIS AND ON MY WEB TRAVELS I LANDED ON THE WEBSITE OF DR. ANDREW WEIL AND ON HIS WEBSITE HE RECOMMENDED DR. GURGEVICH'S HYPNOTIC TONIC AND FOR 25 I ORDER IT. IT'S A SELF-HYPNOSIS 2 DISC CD SET.
AFTER RECEIVING THIS CD SET AND LISTENING TO IT THOROUGHLY AND WRITING NOTES THIS IS WHAT I DEVISED THAT GOT ME TO QUIT. MIND YOU, THE WHOLE TIME I WAS SMOKING AS THIS PROGRAM HAD ME WEAN OFF CIGARETTES AT THE PACE THAT WORKED FOR ME. HERE IS WHAT I DID:
1) EVERY MORNING I WOULD LISTEN TO A GUIDED MEDITATION DESIGNED TO RELEASE THE HABIT OF SMOKING AND AFTER THAT I WOULD THEN LISTEN TO DISC ONE OF THE SELF-HYPNOSIS SET I BOUGHT. IT WAS A TOTAL OF ONE HOUR OF MEDITATION AND SELF-HYPNOSIS
2) I UPPED MY WATER INTAKE TO DRINKING ABOUT 8-10 CUPS OF WATER A DAY AS WELL AS DRINKING 2-3 CUPS OF ORANGE JUICE A DAY. I CONTINUED TO SMOKE NORMALLY WHILE DOING THIS BUT WITHIN A FEW DAYS I BEGAN TO NOTICE MY CRAVINGS SLOWLY DIMINISHING.
3) EVERY NIGHT I WOULD DO THE SAME THING AS I DID EACH MORNING. ONE HOUR OF MEDITATION AND SELF-HYPNOSIS. I ALSO WOULD DRINK A NICE CUP OF HOT NIGHTY-NITE TEA TO HELP ME SLEEP. I WAS ALSO CONSCIOUSLY WORKING ON LEARNING TO SLEEP BETTER. DUE TO MY MAKING CHANGES, I HAVE DECREASED MY COFFEE INTAKE, UPPED MY WATER INTAKE AND NOW DRINK MORE HERBAL TEAS THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
4) I COMPLETELY CLEANED MY HOUSE, ALL MY CLOTHES AND MY CAR, GOT RID OF ALL ASHTRAYS AND TOLD MY HUSBAND AND 21 YEAR OLD SON TO NO LONGER SMOKE IN THE HOUSE. I NEEDED TO BE FREE OF ANY LINGERING RESIDUE OF CIGARETTE SMOKE AND THE AWFUL SCENT THAT CLOGGED THE FIBERS OF MY CLOTHES. I ALSO DISINFECTED MY HOUSE ABOUT THREE TIMES OVER.
5) I CHANGED TO A BRAND THAT I LOATHED WHICH IS MENTHOL AND BEGAN TO EXPAND THE TIME I WOULD LIGHT UP A CIGARETTE. WITHIN A WEEK I WENT FROM SMOKING A PACK AND A HALF A DAY DOWN TO 8 CIGARETTES. I ALSO KEPT MY CIGARETTES IN VERY INCONVENIENT PLACES MAKING SMOKING MORE OF A CHORE. THE POINT WAS TO 'DELIBERATELY SMOKE' INSTEAD OF HOW I HAVE BEEN LIVING MY LIFE THE LAST 26 YEARS WITH THIS ADDICTION. IT'S A MATTER OF RE-WIRING EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE WHEN IT CAME TO MY SMOKING.
I CONTINUED TO DO THIS UNTIL I GOT DOWN TO HAVING ONLY 3 CIGARETTES A DAY AND THEN FINALLY I JUST STOPPED! THAT'S IT! I NEEDED TO WORK WITH MY MIND AND "*TEACHING*" IT NEW MESSAGES, NEW IMAGES AND A NEW WAY OF LIVING.
I WILL SAY THIS, IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY AND THERE WERE DAYS THAT I JUST WANTED TO CRY BUT OVERALL I HAVE TO SAY THE WAY I DID THIS MADE THIS PROCESS LESS PAINFUL THAN GOING COLD TURKEY. I AM NOW FREE! I AM FREE TO DO ALL THE THINGS THAT I COULDN'T DUE TO MY SMOKING ADDICTION. I AM NOW FREE TO WORK MY BODY IN WAYS I COULDN'T AND LEARN TO LIVE A MUCH CLEANER LIFE!
I CAN NOW CONTINUE WITH CONFIDENCE THE SCHOOLING I HAVE BEEN DOING IN LEARNING CRYSTAL HEALING AND REIKI AND OTHER HOLISTIC PRACTICES KNOWING THAT I NO LONGER LIVE WITHIN A "SMOKE SCREEN" AND FOR MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY I AM TREATING MYSELF TO A SPA RETREAT VACATION AS I AM SAVING UP ALL THE MONEY I WOULD HAVE SPENT ON CIGARETTES TO GO TOWARD THIS VACATION. I'M THINKING EITHER HAWAII OR SEDONA, AZ!
I'M VERY PROUD OF ME!
- The Ta'ainvel -
- By Khan -
15.
A few weeks went by and Jonas received his promotion.
Charlotte brushed up on her knowledge on flying and was
soon training with a simulation of the actual pilot
controls. The Humans were both very excellent pilots their
force commander reported to Jante.
A few more weeks went by with little break in routine
and finally, at four p.m. a Monday afternoon, Charlotte for
the first time walked into the bridge as a member of its
crew.
Jante had unconsciously avoided having Charlotte
anywhere close to Ayshala but now he realised that he
hadn't wanted Ayshala to be able to react to the fact that
he loved a Human, another woman.
Now she walked towards where the two, Jante and
Ayshala, stood near the central. The floor was completely
bare, as all three chairs were down in the airlocks beneath
them, red rings where the command stations used to be, and
all of them had a clear view of each other.
Ayshala studied Charlotte with frank curiosity, softly
sniffing the air. She glanced at Jante, and then did what
Jante had hoped for all along but never imagined she would
do.
She stepped forward and embraced Charlotte.
"Be welcome Charlotte," she said warmly to the startled
woman.
"Charlie, call me Charlie," was all Charlotte could
produce.
Ayshala stepped back a little behind Jante and waited.
"Well Charlie. Now you are here. Now you are a pilot.
Nervous?" Jante looked sideways at Charlotte.
"No I'm not nervous at all. Of course I am nervous you
daft cat. Its not every day I get to work as pilot on a
starship."
Ayshala raised an eyebrow at the word 'cat' and several
of the other people working on the bridge turned to look
with amusement at their new commanding officer.
Jante cleared his throat. "Yes, well. Shall we get on
with it then?"
Ayshala responded by speaking a code into her
communication device, then saying "Initiate pilot system,
new functions. Proceed with start-up."
The rear hatch opened with a hiss, letting the command
station rise into the bridge and thud into place.
"Configure system for three pilots, Commander Jante
e'Darin, First pilot Ayshala b'Fairn and Second pilot
Charlotte Westings," she continued.
Charlotte responded to the computer asking her to take
her place at the command station. She sat and placed her
hand on the scanner and the computer reported it had
registered the new pilot. She stepped off the chair and it
sank back into the floor.
"Right, that's that. Now we have two hours left on this
shift, then we're off duty, all three of us," Jante said.
"I'll miss the bridge, I'll admit that," Ayshala said.
"Even if we had the same routine on the way to earth, I
still loved to pilot this oversized tub. Now the
astrogation computer does all the piloting."
"True, its not a fitting place for pilots to spend
their time off the bridge but what can we do," he replied.
"Nothing, for eight more years."
Jante contacted the other ships and received reports
that they also had closed down the pilot section of their
bridge. They had also begun to train a third pilot as they
found the system a clever one. To split the ship's
responsibilities on three was easier on the pilots as well
as on the people living in the ship. On the other two
ships, however, the commanders had decided to retire and a
message soon came to Jante that the commander of the
Handrillian had also decided that her time was up. The
three former starship commanders were still respected and
obeyed but they were no longer sought out for orders.
A year passed and Jante decided it was time to do
something about his and Charlotte's relationship. One night
he took her to the restaurant in the rear dome and after a
pleasant evening asked her to be his Mate.
"Oh, I thought I was already mating with you," she said
with a wry smile.
"You misunderstand. Being someone's Mate is in your
society called being married."
She happily said yes and that night they became Mates.
The ceremony, Jante explained, was ancient and had been
conducted in nearly the same way for thousands of years. He
said it was a return to nature of sorts, a primal mating
ritual.
There was a small garden beneath the Sanctum that was
reserved for this ceremony, a meadow with wild flowers and
several stands of trees. The garden was allowed to grow as
it pleased and was in the eyes of the Ta'ainvel a holy
place.
That evening Jante took Charlotte to the garden. He
took her just inside the doors and removed all she was
wearing except her overall. He carefully let out her hair
that was tied into a bun and allowed it to fall over her
shoulders, then removed all of what he was wearing himself,
except his blue overall. When she looked up she gasped. The
ceiling of the room was five yards above her and made of a
transparent material and through the ceiling she could see
water. The central lake of the Sanctum lay just above and
Jante had opened the huge hatch in between to emit
starlight refracted by the ever-shifting waves of water.
The result was a ghostly light, but not frightening, that
played over the meadow and the trees.
He let the claws of his right hand extend and told
Charlotte to stand still. When she stood there silently
looking at him he swiftly raked his claws beneath a
startled Charlotte's chin. As the overall slid off her in
shreds he quickly made sure he hadn't touched her with his
claws.
Whispering into the darkness he said, "I know you don't
have claws, so just tear the overall off me."
So she did, ripping open the zip that ran down the
front. He stepped out of the overall and leaving it by the
door, and after removing both his and her underwear, took
Charlotte's hand and walked naked across the starlit
meadow. He took her to a spot at the centre of the large
room and motioned for her to sit down. He gave her a small
knife and then lightly cut Charlotte across her cheek with
a claw.
She understood and did the same with the knife. Jante
touched the blood in Charlotte's face and traced out three
lines running down and halfway underneath his own chin with
it. She did the same. He then leaned forward and gave her a
kiss, putting a clawed hand around her neck. With his Mate
in his arms, Jante lay down on the starlit grass.
The ceremony would be simple, he had said, and it was.
When the lights in the Sanctum above started to come on
and lighten the dark meadow, Jante woke from his sleep
beside the naked Charlotte. He gently roused her and took
her hand walking towards the doors out of the garden.
They reached the doors and found two neatly folded blue
overalls lying by the wall.
"There is another part of the ceremony but that is now
more symbolic than needed. There was a Watcher, a person
who saw to the two Mates and that they were not disturbed
by anyone, or anything. Now their task is simple, take the
old overalls and replace them with these new ones."
Jante bent down and picked up the smaller one for
Charlotte, then put the other one on.
"Ayshala asked to be Watcher," he continued, "do you
mind?"
"No, I don't mind. I've know Ayshala long enough to
love her as a sister," Charlotte replied smiling.
She got into the tight overall and when she noticed a
stripe of gold threads tracing the joint between her hip
and her left leg from the small of her back to the crotch
of the overall, she asked about it.
"I have one as well," he replied and pointed to it.
"Its a sign of our union, a sort of wedding ring you Humans
would say."
Outside they found their things as they had left them
and put those on as well. They walked hand in hand through
the lighted corridors towards the bridge.
Reference: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
I can't believe I'm going to blog about Survivor, today. But I am. And how does this classic reality TV show relate to writing?
Well, on pondering the outcome of the finale on Sunday night, I decided it was a perfect example of why we popular fiction authors write proactive protagonists.
For those of you not addicted to this show, (that I swore I would NEVER watch when I first heard the premise, but find more addictive than crack -- not that I've tried crack, just saying), the final two contestants were Amanda and Pavarti. Two very pretty girls who'd both been contestants on previous seasons and were part of the original "favorites" tribe.
I read a few blogs about the outcome and I think it's fair to say that most fans of the show expected Amanda to win. The final winner is based on a vote of the last 8 people voted off the show before them, and so it's expected that the players who have done the most backstabbing will lose, because the "jury" is raw from just being turfed off and often want revenge. That's the way this show normally goes -- the most liked player generally wins at the end -- and so the contestant who gets the power to choose who to take to that final vote with them, typically takes someone the others don't like, and that's what Amanda did in picking Pavarti. Pavarti had flirted with a bunch of the jury members -- men and women -- she'd lied to just about everyone, and she'd staged a coup against one of the most popular and powerful players, Ozzie, who was so angry he wouldn't even let her talk that night.
Now Amanda, in my mind, was no angel in the game. In her "confessional" interviews, (when it's just her and the camera), I thought it was pretty clear that she had a strategy and was pretty smart about the game and pretty smart about who to trust and who not to trust and how to keep people trusting her. She was good at the game.
BUT... In the final tribal council she made a huge mistake. She decided to play the innocence card. She sat there with her big brown eyes wide open and told people how trustworthy she'd been. How she'd been lucky to be in the right alliance. How she'd only lied to people she believed had lied to her. How she'd been really loyal to the people she'd given her word to.
While Pavarti took the opposite tack. She owned up to all her devious actions and, in fact, took more credit for the powerful "women's alliance" forming than I thought she deserved. I know we only see what the producers/editors want us to see, but it seemed to me that Cirie and Amanda were both pretty big players in orchestrating the amazing blindsides these girls pulled off. But Pavarti took the credit/blame. Even as everyone they'd tricked was spitting venom at her, she just sat there, didn't get defensive, and said, "Yes, I did it. I fooled and tricked you all."
And it worked. In spite of everyone saying how much they hated her, the majority of them voted for her to win the million.
Why? I think it was at least in part because Amanda cast herself as the passive character. The one who sits back and lets things happen to her. This let Pavarti take clear hold of the active role. The one who makes things happen.
And the cast, the jury, the people voting, didn't see what we'd seen at home. They hadn't heard Amanda scheming behind their backs as we had. They hadn't seen her taking action. (Except maybe with Erik, but that was so funny, no one except Erik would hold it against her.) So, they believed that Amanda had been passive most of the game and gliding along on the Pavarti ride. And they went with the woman of action.
And I took that as a good lesson for why readers like active characters.
See? It ties in.
Post Script (that I could probably fit in above if I weren't too lazy to do some editing, but I really must get back to my manuscript...)
This outcome was also a lesson about not letting your protagonist cry. I think Amanda's tears, that many took as false the night she chose Pavarti over Cirie, really worked against her. Fresh from seeing her acting job in tricking Erik, many questioned the sincerity of her tears, plus they made her seem weak. Now, I'm a big crier myself, but readers don't generally like their main characters to cry. Just saying.
