The Secret Of Ancient Wisdom And Quantum Mechanics

"Humanities future lies in harnessing the energies that lie hidden in the spaces between the particles, atoms, molecules, planets, stars, and galaxies of the physical universe." ~ Dr William TillerMany of you have heard about the Law of Attraction, a universal law that states "like attracts like." This is a concept that mystics and spiritualists have been teaching for eons. Many deny its existence; however, the study of quantum mechanics has actually found scientific proof of its existence. Quantum physics is the study of sub-atomic particles; particles that we, as human beings, are essentially made of. The formal definition of the study of quantum physics is, "a branch of physics dealing with physical phenomena at microscopic scales... quantum mechanics provides a mathematical description of much of the dual particle-like and wave-like behaviour and interactions of energy and matter."When you think, you actually produce a measurable form of energy called a neuropeptide. The formal definition of a neuropeptide is, "small protein-like molecules (peptides) used by neurons to communicate with each other. They are neuronal signalling molecules that influence the activity of the brain in specific ways." So when you think, you produce a measurable form of energy that is then emitted, much like a radio wave, out into your immediate surroundings - and out into the universe.This is the basic basis for the Law of Attraction. As Henry Ford once said, "Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right." And spiritualists and mystics have always taught the theory, "If you think it, you can be it."And now, the study of quantum physics is finding proof that supports what the ancient mystics and modern day spiritualists have always taught.THE VACUUM THAT ISN'T A VACUUMNow we all know what a vacuum is - it's an empty space full of a lot of, nothing. Or, is it? No, in fact, as has been shown in quantum mechanics, to have a vacuum is impossible. In quantum mechanics, a vacuum would represent a complete absence of any particle matter, but in reality this cannot be the case. Even in the extremes of space, we only have a model of the "perfect vacuum." In reality, no matter how close to that model we get, we still have a space filled with an extremely low concentration of hydrogen atoms and background radiation at the very least. But is that all it is? Is the space between the very building blocks of the universe just an empty void? Since the time of Plato, it has been known to ancient mystics that there can be no complete "void." In the 6th century BC, it was central to many ancient "atomist" philosophies that although there may be some level of empty space between atoms - this space would eventually be filled with "continuum." What we now know to be a form of very dense "energy potential." Let us be clear that this vacuum is simply empty of "physical matter." It is this that is central to the idea of "free energy." Science was later to discover that this principle was central to the overlapping metaphysical ideas of "intention, attraction, manifestation" and other eastern mystical concepts.QUANTUM GENETICS AND YOUR DNAOver the course of past 60 years, Russian research has surpassed western DNA knowledge beyond any proposed model discovered by research from Western Europe and the U.S.A. Not only did the Russians believe the current scientific ideas of the West to be too fixed, they believed them to be wrong. While western science focused research only on 5% of the total human genome, Russian research would focus on the whole human genome in a project that would bridge the gap between ancient mystics and modern quantum physics. The quote below from a report regarding DNA cross intelligence provided the following conclusion of the significance of the research conducted:"In truth, DNA is not just a blueprint for constructing the body; it is also a storage medium for optical information as well as an organ for communication. Scientists have been seeking the ancestral human language for centuries - we believe we have found it."Explanations to some of humanities most ancient beliefs were found everywhere they looked - even by accident. In one experiment designed to test the effect of single DNA strands on particle level space, results far beyond the expected would illustrate an ancient manifesting power buried deep within us all. And for those of religious faith, consider Psalm 82: 6:"I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High."In one study featuring an experimental "perfect vacuum," where our human DNA was added to measure the effect of light at a particle level, the results proved shocking. Not only did our DNA manifest light particles into synchronization, correlating with the shape of the strand itself, it produced unforeseen effects much like "mini space" in a jar. Scientists observed tiny wormholes constantly manifesting around our DNA along with what could only termed "fluctuations of the light." In further experiments, human DNA could be found to retain the light itself, providing a glowing vacuum creating a test tube "bulb." Ancient beliefs of clairvoyance, healing, rapid intuition, aura energy, light manipulation even weather manipulation had now been proven possible on a quantum level. (Again, bear in mind, the quantum level refers to the level of sub-atomic particles - the very same particles of which we are all made of. So if this can happen with those particles in a lab test, one can easily deduce that it can happen within YOU.)These tiny wormholes would later be found to be the key to unlocking our manifestation potential. Further studies provided more detailed information than we had ever thought possible. These miniature magnetic wormholes were "two way communication links to other parts of the known universe." Our DNA is more than the sum of us - it is a "quantum bio wave computer." Our tiny, individual wormholes take information and pass it too our consciences - resonating it back to us at a frequency on a genetic level found to be around 150 megahertz. This would later lead to the conclusion that our DNA was an ancient "harmonic oscillator." Our DNA was attracting information on a quantum level and organizing it as consciousness. STONEHENGE AS A SPIRITUAL TRANSCENDENCE TOOLIt seems that the ancient builders of Stonehenge had knowledge of this concept of DNA as a "harmonic oscillator." For many, it is believed that the Stonehenge structure is a large spiritual transcendence tool:"For those of you who may not know, altered states of consciousness can be reached through beat tones and rhythmic sessions at certain frequencies. This is why monks chant, those of Jewish faith rock back and forth (davening) while praying and indigenous people incorporate drumming into their rituals. This is also why Rave participants are easily induced into trance-like states. These rhythmic actions actually produce a clinically measurable effect on the brain.Through rhythmic sessions and beat tones or binaural beats, the brain reaches a state called "coherence." Coherence is reached when waves in phase and of one wavelength simultaneously are generated in the different parts of the brain. This synchronicity between the waves makes the brain run like an optimal brain and a deep state of altered consciousness can be achieved."Researchers of Stonehenge noticed that the side of the rocks facing the interior center of the circle were carved out somewhat to produce a concave "dip" in the face of the rock. Further study revealed that:"... the acoustical qualities of Stonehenge are such that, when the proper rhythm is achieved through beat tones (drumming), Stonehenge actually begins to produce Alpha wave frequencies at 10 HZ to such an extent that it actually begins to ring like a glass. You know the old trick, wet your finger and run it around the lip of a crystal glass and it'll turn into a "singing bowl." Apparently, Stonehenge produces the same effect only on a much grander scale and in low Alpha wave frequencies. Frequencies necessary to achieve altered states of consciousness that allow for astral planing or astral projection (out of body experiences). Combine that with the mind altering substance of the day, Henbane, and you have yourself one hell of a party."ANCIENT LIGHT WORKERS AND THEIR "FAMILIARS" (CATS)Ancient "light workers" have long been held sacred, but believed by many in modern society to be another part of outdated thought from our primal past - but this was about to change. It was later found that our very own DNA could influence ultraviolet photons in an aura directly affecting human metabolism. In extreme cases of "environmental manifestation," accounts of black ghosts, energy fluctuations, extreme intuition and more could no longer be ignored. To further add curiosity, science in other areas has produced evidence linking cross species manifestation and influence to our DNA. Cats have been found to emit, and also become sensitized, to human electromagnetic fields and our surrounding "fluctuations." Not only this, but other studies that have confirmed evidence of the effects of cats on the lowering of human heart rates in the presence of them, has added value to the ancient beliefs in our favourite "familiar." The formal definition of a familiar is:"...supernatural entities believed to assist witches and cunning folk in their practice of magic...the main purpose of familiars is to serve the witch or young witch, providing protection for him/her as they come into their new powers... according to the records of the time, they would appear in numerous guises, often as an animal."And remember, in ancient times, a witch was actually a healer - a man or woman who studied herbal medicine (much like a Shaman) - and not the demonic, evil, modern portrayal of what we commonly refer to as a witch.Many are the recorded incidents of spontaneous, unexplainable behaviour from our feline friends, giving firm support to the supernatural power of cats put forward in ancient human history. Light workers of all periods were said to be drawn to cats and surrounded by cats as protectors, cleansers and guardians of their own "light side." However, this still left many ancient blanks. GENETIC EMPATHYIn research conducted in the institute of heart math, involving the isolation of DNA and the focused power of human emotion, we find answers to some ancient riddles. The aim of the research was to study why the heart produced a greater electromagnetic field influence than the brain, not just with us, but in our DNA. This research would look to go one step further in investigating the effects of transmission of emotional "intent" on DNA. Trained emotional subjects were each given an emotional "intent" to transmit, and the results were surprising. In the presence of negative emotions, the isolated DNA became strangled and tight. In the presence of positive emotions, the DNA became extremely relaxed. Confirming that an empath can not only feel your emotions, but is actually able to manifest them within themselves, on a genetic level. Further military research has since confirmed these results. Donors were tested and emotionally stimulated in order measure changes in samples of their own DNA. What they discovered was that an emotional peak in one room - lead to an emotional peak in our DNA in another room. To test this, further research continued at a variety of distances that further confirmed these earlier findings. Modern western physics was unable to provide an explanation for how our DNA could manifest these changes at distances of over 350 miles in instant, real-time speed that was synchronised by atomic clocks. Further, they could not answer as to why there should even be any such existing connection at all.The answer that was deduced in the conclusion of this genetic research conducted, in both the above and previously discussed area, was provided by the head the of the Russian research team at the Academy of Science in Moscow:"After duplicating experiments many times and checking the equipment in every conceivable way, we were forced to accept the working hypothesis that some new field structures is being excited from the physical vacuum. It appears that this substructure can be excited from the physical vacuum in a range of energies close to zero energy. Our only conclusion is that the DNA itself has manifesting powers through the vacuum separate from deliberate human intention." ~ Dr. Vladimir PoponinTHE DNA PHANTOM EFFECT * * * * *ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Peter is a specialist in Biomechanics and Periodization Science. He is also a qualified Teacher. Peter has an extensive background in Sports Science and due to his Military skills, he is in demand to a wide range of clients. Currently working as a SOF Performance Trainer while running his own personal training business, Peter is an enthusiastic reader of many subjects with an interest in outdoor pursuits and sports.

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What Women Really Want In Relationships And Marriage Part 5 The Alpha Male

No discussion of what women want could be complete without a factual discussion of the Alpha Male. Female readers reveal what they think about the Alpha Male. In short, they WANT him, NOW!I have received thousands of e-mails from women about their reactions to the alpha male, his personality, behavior, bearing, leadership, etc., and since alpha male behavior triggers automatic, biologically-based attraction response, this is indeed something very important you must understand if you truly want to be a man who knows what women want. I'll give you some examples...Check these out:David,Where can I get a man that will propose to me in a dip at the end of a Flamenco? I watch that dance sequence in "The Mask of Zorro" all the time because it's better than any romance novel at getting me juiced up. It's just too hot for words! And that fire in Aleandru, and the determination in Delavega, they are so smooth and so hot, and just take charge of everything around them, as if no matter how bad things have been or could get, they own the world they walk on! GAWD! Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got to tend to something... ;-)Denise(Sent in response to a recent newsletter about the importance of building attraction and being able to kill it even in a marriage proposal.)David,Just some affirmation from one of your female readers... I loved what you had to say today about the Alpha Male! And from this female's perspective, you're right on target. There is nothing sexier than a man who knows what he wants and sets out to get it, but still takes care not to trample on others to get there. It sounds lame, but "careful determination" is high on my list of traits that I'm looking for in a mate. I want the man who will set out boldly in the direction he desires, who will make sure he has gathered all the necessary data and considered all the important points of what his next step should be, so that when he makes each step, it is bold, sure, and determined. There is nothing wimpy about this man, because even though he's careful and considerate, he is those things in a way that comes across as prepared and in control, not insecure and second-guessing. He has all the facts, and he operates from logic and knowledge -- he IS the Alpha Male. From this gal's point of view, you've got it nailed! Thanks for your insights!(unsigned)Hi David!I have your book, and I've been reading your newsletter for a long time now, and I'm starting to wonder why you've not yet been on "Oprah". I keep forwarding your stuff to my guy friends, and some have said they've subscribed. The others just don't get it. They continue to cower before the women around them, feeding us B.S. compliments in a sorry effort to win our approval, never realizing that if they want our approval, the first thing they have to do is stand up and stop seeking it.Then they have to listen. They need to recognize when we're serious about something and when we're playing, when we're really having a crisis and when we're just testing to see how much drama they'll put up with, and when we're testing to see if they're going to act like men or wimps, they need to calmly tell us to "put our big girl panties on" and straighten up. When we're having a real crisis, we want a man to be strong enough to hear the outpouring of a problem without trying to jump to our rescue, and then tell us get on with handling it, and let them know if they can be of assistance, instead of getting frantic with us and assuming that we're frantic because we can't handle it ourselves. We can. We handle ourselves differently than men, but the vast majority of us do handle ourselves. It takes strength and brains to be that man, one who can recognize the difference between expressing crisis and a plea for help and being considerate enough to act appropriately, and those who are that man are the most desirable of all.They also have to have themselves together enough to have fun with us. We don't like being around sappy, whiney dorks, or boring sticks in the mud. We want to be with achievers, as you call them, who get things done and feel like they've earned a good time, and can have one, and bring us into it at will with laughter and enthusiasm. God! How we hate to hear the words, "I don't know, what do you want to do?"Yes, we're hard to understand sometimes, and most of us know it, but more and more of us are getting past that dime novel idea that men should just know everything. We're realizing that we don't really want them to "just know," but that we do want them to recognize it when we tell them, however subtly we may express it. To that end, many of us are starting to speak out in forums like this, because the time for improvement is at hand, and we all, men and women, deserve better.(also unsigned)Whoever these women are, they either have or will have a good man. The first certainly seems to be saying that she'll accept nothing less than a true alpha male, one who is strong, but earns his way through the world - he doesn't just beat somebody over the head and take what he wants, he works for it, knowing that he can earn it and is worthy of having it. In Objectivist philosophy, this is called "rational self-interest," and is the cornerstone of appropriate human behavior, especially for anyone wanting to be happy and enjoy self-esteem, because such achievement is self-esteem's only source.The second seems to be confirming, albeit more verbosely, everything the first says. In short, they want this "alpha male" in their life, and aren't leaving us to guess who he is and what he looks like anymore.When you've finished "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," you might want to follow it up with one of Ayn Rand's novels, like "The Fountainhead," or "Atlas Shrugged." They are incredibly well-written, and project man as a truly heroic being, strong, logical, motivated, walking tall and moving through life with a purpose, an image that every woman wants to see every time she looks at her man, not just because it's exciting, but because they are "biologically wired" to recognize such characteristics and respond to them - it's called "attraction." (Now there's a clue!)I've included pages upon pages of instruction and examples of how to BE this man and love every minute of it in "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and Gentlemen, the women are constantly saying, "Hell YES! This is what I want!" so pay attention! The choice is yours; choose well, and jump immediately to http://www.makingherhappy.com, because life is just too short to spend it bored and wanting.In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!David Cunningham"Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham

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Wedding Registry

Once the date is set and also your venue is reserved, there are a lot of more things to cross off ones own checklist ahead of you happen to be even close to prepared for your wedding reception. At least one significant venture to actually take off your list, which often can require a great amount of time to complete, will be your marriage registry. Nuptial registries could be tedious and also time-consuming, and might possibly lead to some strife involving you and your fianc'e.

Deciding but not only what you should put it on your own wedding registry, but the place you choose to register is a large selection. There's a pretty good possibility that several or perhaps many of your wedding company are from out of town. If this is the case, registering at a nationwide or some times world-wide company can be wise. The majority of these types of massive businesses are now allowing registries available on line which will be able to help those out of the country friends and family to obtain as well as ship an item you might have wanted.

Many of the most favorite places for you to register at around the Midwest are typically Target, Crate & Barrel, along with Macy's. These are virtually all incredibly convenient places to be able to register and definitely will give you along with your fianc'e with numerous alternatives when considering house objects. Think about your invited guests along with what cost range can be most appropriate for the majority of them. There are lots of products that is often incorporated for a registry that happen to be inside an affordable budget range. Using a national shop such as these assures your guests should have a no hassle experience when it comes to picking a product for you personally.

Having said that, if you have a popular neighborhood retail store in your city or even community, this could additionally end up being a fantastic place to register. Having a local retail store will likely not likely have exactly the same convenience like a large company, although some small businesses are willing to accommodate a registry list to their dependable clients. Smaller kitchen along with home stores are usually ready to help the happy couple through making a scheduled visit aided by the owner or administrator. There is a likelihood that they will be unable to accommodate, nevertheless it doesn't hurt to question, and also they are going to more than likely end up being thrilled you are getting them some extra business!

In case you are confused pertaining to some ideas in regards to what to put on your personal registry, couples are discovering solutions to go outside the box with regards to wedding registries by looking towards his or her actual big day. A number of wedding DJs as well as photographers are currently making it practical for others to "chip in" concerning the total of your service as portion of a wedding gift. A terrific idea is actually pitching in on a portion of the pictures offer, as well as gifting your friends an added hour or so on their own engagement as well as marriage ceremony sessions. This is a great wedding DJ Faq that you could wish to check out along with you particular Disc-jockey, or even if this is something you will be presenting be sure to review this with their DJ.

Whether you are seeking to use a standard registry or perhaps would like something different along with entertaining, getting this approach out of the way will let you spend time on some other important tasks. Once you plus your fianc'e may decide on the things you would love, the worst is finished. Large businesses will make it a simple task for you to ultimately complete, as long as you set aside some time for this!

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The Importance Of Feminism To Liberalism

This is one of my pet topics that I don't actually write about much, because I feel like a broken record, but today I think the topic needs to be refreshed a little. Hugo Schwyzer linked to this nauseating jerk-off of an editorial that was supposed to be "satirical" but was pretty much just the writer, Michael Lewis, bragging about how he talked a smart, beautiful woman (Tabitha Soren) into giving up her career in order to be just the Missus. Believe me, those men who don't see a big problem with that kind of ego-stroking, if I wrote an an article bragging about how I found a man to give up fame and fortune in order to stay and home and look after my children, you'd be pissed, too.

Anyway, Hugo left this comment about his views on marriage and staying at home to raise children:

"I'll catch some flak for this, but in my opinion one of the greatest gifts a husband can give his wife is the freedom to choose to what degree she wishes to remain in the public sphere after they've had children."

Meaning that men should be gracious if their wives want to keep their jobs but willing to shoulder the financial burden should their wives want to stay at home. I told him he was being classist in the comments, and I was right. Most men don't have an opportunity to be the big champion for "letting" their wives work or the big supporter for "letting" their wives stay at home; most married couples need two incomes to get by, so the whole subject is irrelevant to their personal circumstances.

The problem with comments like this is that men in this country are already oppressed by the American Dream, the male version, at least. As far as I know, there's no female-centered version of the American Dream. In the American Dream, our hero Ward Cleaver is a Real Man because he has a job that pays for him to have a big house, a family and a most importantly, a wife who is financially dependent on him and under his direct control. This is how masculinity is defined for so many, many men in our country. The problem is that fulfilling that dream of having a woman sequestered away at home tending to you and your children is that it's out of the financial reach of the majority of men.

Of course, what this means is that we have a huge population of men in this country that both believe that in order to be Real Men they have to have a wife that is both at home and subservient, but out of financial necessity, they have wives who work. And it's hard to get subservience out of someone when you can't tell them, "Well, who makes the money around here?" There's a lot of resentment there.

In step the Republicans, who can't give these guys what they really want--jobs that pay enough to have a family with one income--but they can give them an endless list of people to scapegoat: welfare moms, illegal immigrants, disobedient women getting abortions, gays who want marriage when you can't even have the Leave It to Beaver one you wanted for yourself, and so on and so forth. Plus, the President is all too willing to be a walking phallic symbol for all sorts of masculine fantasies of power to be projected on. Maybe you can't be Ward Cleaver, conservative men of America, but at least you can pretend you're Dirty Harry.

I see some pontificators who have toyed with the idea of "compromising" with the Resentful Male Republicans by kicking feminists around a little, I mean, "compromising" on women's right to an abortion, etc. This strategy isn't going to work. Every attempt to assuage those who vote from anxious masculinity is just going to be topped by the Republicans, who I have no doubt would go so far as to strap a codpiece on President Bush and parade him around riding on the back of a woman on all fours, especially if they could do it out of sight of the female voters they are trying to lure by saying "children" a lot.

Gender issues are not of secondary importance to conservative politics at all--they are front and center. Ultimately, the resentful NASCAR dad voters are voting for a return to unquestioned straight male dominance. And when liberals ghettoize "women's issues" or suggest that they can compromise with the right-wing on what rights to "let" women have, it reinforces the belief that male dominance is the way of the world, and thereby weakens the liberal position.

There's been a lot of ink spilled as of late bemoaning the lack of direction and lack of goals for progressives. This sort of thing really perplexes those of us who concentrate on feminist progressivism--I have no problem whatsoever stating what my direction and goals are for feminism. Feminists want full legal equality for women, parity between the sexes in every aspect of public life, social relationships between men and women based on equality, the rights of children to be acknowledged and respected, the right of women to use every tool science has to offer to maintain control over our bodies, wage equity, social policies to help parents, and healthy social attitudes towards sexuality. We also have tons of plans and ideas that we'd like to implement. You want goals and ideas? Feminists got 'em.

Liberal Democrats need to enthusiastically embrace feminism, and have the courage of our convictions. Courage is what attracts voters--if you don't think that's so, then look at all the women who vote against their own interests because they are lured by the confident way conservatives put the boot to the neck. Oh yeah, and in case we forgot, women are half the voters out there, but women voters are wishy-washy about supporting the Democratic party. Why? Well, because the Democrats are wishy-washy about standing up for what women want. Enthusiastic support for women's rights and women's needs is the best way to get the attention and support of women voters. I cannot tell you how many women I know who express feminist opinions and vote for the Republicans. They would probably be more inclined to rethink their choice if they saw the Democrats outlining programs that woudl be of a direct benefit to them.

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Single Over 50 Meet Women On Line And Find True Love

As we have approached the 21st century, we find there is less time, and more pressure. As we rely more heavily on technology, we often take it for granted and use it as a means for social interaction, as well as work. The question is, how to date and meet women online?

The key to meeting women online is to find those that have similar interests to you. Most men are attracted to women who share similar interests, and as you are unable to talk to the person face to face, you want to be able to share something in common with them. It is important to find common interests so when you finally meet in person, it can be easier for you to continue the conversation.

The key is to find those already niched websites where women are in a similar age bracket and have signed up with the same interests as your own. Having similar hobbies could keep your online conversation going for hours.

Source: lay-reports.blogspot.com

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Psychology Open Question Help With What My Girlfriend Is Thinking

I'm really confused. well my girlfriend wanted to break up with me one day suddenly, and she said that we are not true love and crap like that. well you know what, we've been together for a year and she loves the crap out of me. no kidding, my friends, and people all agree she really loves me. there is no doubt in that. well, then she founds out( which is really a misunderstanding) she thought I liked someone else and I was in a relationship with that person... and she got mad at me and went crazy, like I've done something extremely wrong. I don't know why, but all I want to say is, ok, 1 year relationship, suddenly you wanna break up and turn it into absolutely nothing. well why would you mind If I had a new gf or not? like why? what is she thinking? why would she get mad? did I do something wrong? girls are so confusing. I don't know what's going on. I seriously need to make heads or tails out of this whole thing. anyone could help that'd be great! thank you so much for your helpThe point is, if she wanted to break up, AFTER that, why would she even care, or get MAD when she thought I liked another girl? whats on her mind? why does she still cares?thank you for answering. I appreciate it.Just answer the reason she did this. and nothing else. thank you very much.

Reference: aisha-vip.blogspot.com

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Who Do You Love

Question from a reader, my answers are in bold:I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago because after many lies I became suspicious and logged on to a few of his accounts and found out that he had also been cheating. This man told me he loved me within 3-4 weeks of meeting me. Has constantly told me how beautiful and sexy I was. Had a sex drive that was incredible. We could have sex several times a day and he would still masturbate. He could have orgasms one after the other up to 4 in a row. During all of this he was seeing another woman who he had started an affair with prior to me once a week at lunch. He wanted me to have his baby, wanted to move in with me. Said I could stay home with the child and not work. Everythink that I wanted he swore he wanted too. A little farm in the country, yes, organic food, yes. He knew my ex had pushed me to have an abortion so he was going to have his vasectomy reversed so that we could have a child together. THIS IS A CLASSIC EXAMPLE OF HOW SOCIOPATHS ARE SO INHERENTLY FLEXIBLE. THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO BECOME WHATEVER THEY WANT. WHATEVER YOU WANT, IF YOU STRIKE THEIR FANCY. I MEAN, REALLY, WHAT ARE THE CHANCES OF THIS MAN WANTING A FARM IN THE COUNTRY, ORGANIC FOOD, ETC.? CLEARLY A SOCIOPATH. All of this while lying constantly, texting other women on a regular basis, having a long term affair with another. He is a heavy pot smoker, heavy drinker. He believes he is very intelligent. The things that make me question whether he was a sociopath are that he was in the navy for 8 years. THE MILITARY WOULD BE A GOOD "LEGITIMATE" OUTLET FOR HIS DESTRUCTIVE, THRILL-SEEKING WAYS, AND POWER-SEEKING BEHAVIOR. HE PROBABLY DIDN'T MIND TAKING ORDERS FROM ONE PERSON AS LONG AS HE KNEW HE COULD LORD IT OVER ANOTHER LARGER GROUP. Married for 10 but she left him because of his constant lying, pot addiction and bursts of anger. She said it was like dealing with Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. He has a great job now that he has had for several years and seems to be fairly conscientious about it. He screws off a lot but he has a lot of responsiblity and seems to take it seriously when necessary. YEAH, HIGH-FUNCTIONING SOCIOPATHS DO THIS. THEY HAVE A CONCEPT OF NOT DEFECATING WHERE THEY EAT. THEY WILL KEEP CERTAIN THINGS STABLE IN THEIR LIFE AND FIND OUTLETS FOR THEIR DEVIANT BEHAVIOR IN WAYS THAT ARE LESS LIKELY TO BACKFIRE ON THEM. After breaking up with him he denied for several days even though I had written proof and then went from being angry and mean to begging me to give him another chance from one hour to the next. He swears that his D day for being the man that I deserved was when he was moving in (just a few after I caught him) but I assume it is all just more lies. I MEAN, WHAT IS A LIE REALLY? SOUNDS LIKE HE WANTS YOU IN HIS LIFE, JUST MAYBE NOT ON TERMS THAT YOU WOULD PREFER. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO HEAR FROM HIM? THAT HE IS DEDICATED TO YOU IN HIS WAY? SOUNDS LIKE HE IS. THAT HE CAN BE DEDICATED TO YOU IN A WAY THAT NORMAL PEOPLE CAN? SOUNDS LIKE HE CAN'T. WHAT ROLE DOES HONESTY HAVE WHEN YOU ARE ASKING HIM TO BE SOMEONE HE IS NOT OR ELSE YOU WILL TAKE AWAY SOMETHING VERY VALUABLE TO HIM. WOULDN'T WE ALL "LIE" TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING? EVEN IF JUST TO OURSELVES? DID YOU EVER LIE TO YOURSELF IN THE RELATIONSHIP?Does that sound like a Sociopath or is there something closely related that has more bearing? SOCIOPATH, ALTHOUGH YOU HAVE GIVEN ME JUST A HANDFUL OF CHOICE FACTS. WHO KNOWS WHAT IS REALLY GOING ON IN HIS MIND. It really shouldn't matter but for some stupid reason if it is based on an actual condition maybe I don't have to feel like such an idiot for buying into what he was selling. WERE YOU AN IDIOT? AM I AN IDIOT IF I WATCH AN INANE BLOCKBUSTER MOVIE AND GET A FEW LAUGHS? MAYBE YOU WERE JUST ENJOYING YOURSELF. AT LEAST THE SEX, RIGHT? He made me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world and swore I made him a better man but his actions were so the opposite. SEE, WHY WOULD YOU GO QUESTIONING THE FACT THAT YOU ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN THE WORLD. CAN'T HE THINK THAT AND BEHAVE AS HE DID? IF HE IS A SOCIOPATH HE CAN. IS HIS BEHAVIOR REALLY SO INCONSISTENT? I MEAN, POLYAMORY IS NOT FOR EVERYONE, BUT IT'S NOT SO OUT THERE. I'M JUST SAYING, DOES IT MATTER MORE TO YOU HOW HE FEELS ABOUT YOU AND HOW HE TREATS YOU? OR WHAT HE DOES WHEN YOU ARE NOT AROUND? DOES HE HAVE TO BE HIS "REAL" SELF ALL THE TIME? AND IF HE WAS, WOULD YOU EVEN LIKE HIM STILL? I am self diagnosing him but I thought I would look for a little feedback.Thanks.

Origin: quick-pickup-rules.blogspot.com

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Cute Or Cruel The Fine Line Between Play And Abuse In Relationships And Marriage

One of the easiest ways to learn how to do something right, including creating attraction, is to model the behavior of someone who is already skilled. However, you still have to know enough about the process to know whether the behavior you are thinking about modeling is the right behavior to model.

I hope you are enjoying this day as much as I am. In the July 13, 2011 edition of this newsletter (http://forum.makingherhappy.com/showthread.php/770-Pleasure-or-Pain-More-on-Horseplay-and-quot-Picking-quot-in-Relationships-and-Marriage), I wrote to you about playing with women, and how many of the things we do with each other as men to bond and help each other develop "a thicker skin" are perceived differently by women, cruel in fact, because they use the same behavior to attack each other and therefore misconstrue some of our joking as an attack as well.

This is obviously not well-received by a woman from a man who tells her that he loves her. That lesson inspired the following letter from Nina, who notes the difference between ignorance and abuse (and yes, there are valuable lessons here for those of you whose relationships don't involve abuse, so please stick with me here and you'll see what I mean):

Hi David,

My husband and I have been reading your newsletters since we started having trouble last summer, and your book has made a world of difference in our life. We were in a bit of a death spiral, bored and frustrated with each other and had begun picking and sniping at each other in retaliation against what we both thought were deliberate attacks and disrespect, and I need to thank you for helping us get that all sorted out.

He's back to being the man I married, and I feel better about our marriage and my life now than I've ever felt, because Karl never bores me anymore. He's fun and playful one minute and strong and decisive the next, and in spite of his growing "spare tire" around his middle and his receding hairline, he keeps me in the clouds, if you know what I mean. And by the way, thanks so much for teaching him about the value of anticipation and taking it slow. We're both enjoying that part of our life more than we did during our dating and honeymoon periods combined.

I wanted to tell you about something I saw today, and have been seeing since our new neighbors moved in. I didn't realize what I was really seeing until your newsletter about how men and women play differently. I thought that this was what our neighbor Gene was doing to his wife Carrie, but I think I was wrong. Every time we're over there, no matter who is around or how Carrie really looks (she's usually very slender and fit but sometimes she puts on a couple of extra pounds when she has to work late a lot at the hospital here), he'll walk up and say to her, "You're looking pretty chunky in those shorts (or pants or whatever). We're going to have to get that weight off of you!" And then he'll swat her on her bottom or pinch her or grab her and pull her skin to make love handles. It embarrasses her so badly that she'll start crying and walk away, and he just laughs.

I thought for a long time that he was really that stupid and insensitive, but I've noticed other things lately. She never leaves the house without him, and very often when we're all together and she's asked a question, she'll look at him before answering, and won't answer until he makes eye contact with her and twitches some part of his face. I've never seen him hit her, and haven't seen any bruises, but I think he's controlling and abusing her, because she never looks happy and often the only way I can describe the way she looks is "trapped." Is there anything that I can say to her or do for her to help her through this?

Thank you so much for your help, and for listening,

Nina

My reply:

Hi Nina,

I'm so happy to hear that you and your husband have had such success, and I'm equally sorry to hear that your neighbor is having such trouble. There is nothing to help her through, except exiting the relationship, unless she wants to risk going to jail by cracking him in the head with an iron skillet next time he abuses her, and the best that can do is give her relief, not a good marriage. A good marriage can't be had with an abuser.

Seriously, this is probably out of your league and hers. She needs some professional help to help her understand that she doesn't have to tolerate his abuse and should in fact give him an ultimatum to either stop or leave, and that's obviously not something that can be successfully handled by e-mail or phone, so she needs to find a local counselor.

What you can do for her is to point out to her that her accepting his behavior is self-destructive and unnecessary, that his behavior is controlling and abusive and not the "norm" for male behavior, and that if she is uncomfortable facing him down herself that she should get counseling from someone who specializes in abuse cases and start getting the problem handled. But be warned, she may try to suck you into her problems, or begrudge you sticking your nose into her marriage, and getting involved in your neighbor's domestic disputes and relationship problems can land you in all sorts of trouble, including emotionally draining you to the point of damaging your relationship with your husband or causing a feud with your neighbor, so don't let that happen.

Take care, and keep in touch,

David

What can the rest of us learn from this situation? First, some women are just as capable and skilled at this kind of controlling, demoralizing behavior as men; indeed, some of them are even better at it than we are. They may not even make a pretense of playing with you; they may just attack you outright in public, airing your dirty laundry, discussing your mistakes and failures, describing in detail your embarrassing moments, complaining about things you do, etc.

But not every attack is abuse. Pay close attention here so you can learn to distinguish between a desperate plea for negotiation and abuse...

When a woman does this infrequently and it's limited to a single issue, like some on-going disagreement that you're having, it's a sign that the two of you are having a communication problem on that issue, she's frustrated, and thinking that she may get you to work harder to listen to her if she gives you a dose of embarrassment and frustration as punishment. Not the best solution in the world for sure, but malice, control, and abuse are not the motivation behind the problem. She's merely getting desperate for communication and trying to bully you a bit to get it and punishing you for making it rough for her. HOWEVER...

If the attacks are frequent, and not related to problems, but to things that destroy self-esteem, like overtly trying to embarrass you over your receding hairline or recent weight gain, being passed over for promotion at work, etc., hitting hot buttons that have nothing to do with anything in dispute and especially target your manhood and independence, you have a spouse abuser on your hands, seeking to control you and keep you close to home by destroying your self-esteem and making you seek their approval.

On the issue of abuse, we have it just a little easier than most women. Most of us don't generally have to worry about our wife beating us to a pulp and putting us in the hospital. But that's about the only advantage. They can still hurt us financially in any number of ways, including burying us in debt and keeping us there, relentlessly putting us down in front of people to the point that we withdraw from the outside world to keep from being embarrassed in front of anybody we know, acting seductive toward other men in our presence or even bringing them home, and in extreme cases, even mixing things like mild poisons, things we're allergic to (peanuts, shell fish, etc.) in our food in just high enough a concentration to make us miserable without endangering us. Abusers, male and female alike, don't want their victim dead, they want them utterly submissive, alive and healthy enough to fully experience the abuse.

If you are with such a person, you can leave or throw them out. There may not be any criminal charges to file, and life may be a bit rough for a little while as you get used to being on your own again, but the truth is that no matter how insecure your abuser makes you feel, you don't have to take it, and there are others in the world who will treat you with love and respect. It may take you awhile to heal and regain both your self-respect and your ability to trust women again, but you can do it, and I and thousands of others are capable of helping you through it, so you don't have to do it alone, either.

Being well-matched is one of the cornerstones of a great relationship, and something I devote a lot of time and energy to explaining and helping you to understand in "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and being strapped to an abuser for the rest of your life is definitely NOT what anyone except possibly a masochist would call "being well-matched."

Getting away from an abuser (and that includes predators who use attacks on your self-esteem to keep you submissive and in the habit of spending your entire life for their benefit at the expense of your own) first requires ascertaining that you are indeed with one, then either quashing their abusive behavior or separating yourself from them (almost everyone ends up doing the latter, because the underlying problems that make one an abuser of any kind rarely can be corrected, even with professional help, which is why we have nice, big prisons with lots of tiny cells), and then going through a process of healing and regaining your manhood and self-respect.

It also requires that you recognize that the odds of being struck by lightning are better than the odds of finding some way to reform an abuser, and accepting that they're not going to change for you or anybody else, nor are they likely to change for their own sake. They live to find targets, and punish or exploit them. Nothing more, nothing less.

This must all be followed by overcoming any lingering fear you may have of future abuse, and then gaining a complete and working understanding of what a high-quality woman looks and acts like, how she thinks, and what she wants, and then evaluating yourself to see if some part of you needs to grow in order to satisfy such a woman.

The growing part is actually easy, because nearly all of us are born with a hero within, a part of us that wants to do better, have better, and be better, and the only thing that suppresses that part of us is bad programming that we pick up from the world around us. Remove the bad programming by accepting your true nature, and self-improvement comes very naturally and aggressively, because you suddenly realize that you both want and deserve it, and nothing can get in the way of you having it as long as you make the required effort to get it done.

Great relationships don't happen every day, but it's not because they're not available. It's because even with all the school we attend and everything else we go through in growing up, very, VERY few of us are ever taught - by example or otherwise - what we need to know to find, build, and maintain a great relationship or marriage. We do what we've been programmed to do, or worse, what our insecurities, caused by our lack of understanding of the opposite sex, force us to do: settle for the first person who can tolerate is or is good in bed (or both) and screw things up royally, and it doesn't have to be that way at all.

As I said, I and thousands of other can help you, including the friends waiting for you at our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com, to varying degrees depending on our expertise and specialty, with any problems you have, but you have to first admit there is a problem and then choose to do something about it before any of us can do anything for you. I've been helping people with all sorts of problems my whole adult life, and I'm not a bit shy about saying that I'm one of the best you'll find to help you, because I have thousands of business and individual clients to back me up on it, and nobody will ever tell you that I couldn't help, at least to the extent of referring them to other competent help if their needs were outside my area of expertise. You can argue with opinions, but you can't argue with history.

So what are you going to do about your problems? Are you going to just continue to wallow in them and hope somebody gives you a magic wand or powder or pill that makes them go away, or are you going to take the bull by the horns and get some help to get things going your way quickly so you can get back to (or get around to, if you never have) enjoying your life?

If you're tired of things being touchy, rocky, scary, boring, tense, lonely or celibate in your relationship, stop tolerating it and let me help you fix it, a lot quicker and more easily than you would ever imagine, because I have the one thing above all others that you are lacking: good information that has been tested and worked for EVERYBODY who has used it, and it will work for you, too. Just jump over to http://www.makingherhappy.com/ and get your copy of "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," and you'll see what I mean.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!

David Cunningham "Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham

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Going Out On St Patty Day

**Editors' Note: Today's guest post come in from "Terry Tucker" who sent us The Perfect First Date a few weeks ago. Thanks Terry!**

Driving downtown, I spot my ex-boss walking on the sidewalk. Should let it go, but I can't. Later I call him on the cell, ask how it's going. Tell him I saw him walking downtown, why don't we get together and catch up....how about St. Patty's day?.......been awhile.

Quite a while.....we did not part on good terms. In fact he fired me for insubordination, and I wonder what in the world I'm doing.....asking him out, wanting to see him again. Chance to clear things up? Always a lot of sexual tension between us. Or maybe just tension....we disagreed on politics and just about everything else.....the way we saw the world. But he was good looking, and flaunted it, and so did I.......flirting and sexual double entendres were part of the daily routine. Going with a biker at the time, so it never came to anything.

Still irked me the way he fired me. Had a dentist's appointment on Friday afternoon at 2. The doctor's office was on the other side of town, so I planned to take the rest of the afternoon off, not come back. No way, he said. Would not budge, even when I explained it. When I returned to the office the next Monday morning, he had me clean out my desk (hovering above) and walked me to the door. My last memory of him was a smirk on his face. No wonder I felt conflicted about this date. He should have been working for me, when I thought about it.

We had dinner at McCormick's.....on the way back I suggested stopping and getting hammered at an Irish pub, not far from where I lived. Actually, it was a bikers' bar called Duffy's, Irish in name only. A couple guys at the bar greeted me as we walked in. He said something about it as we slid into the booth. I nodded......"yeh, used to come here a lot with my ex, he practically lived here."

"Still does," I added. He turned and surveyed the room. His eyes landed on the surly guy behind the pool table with a cue stick in his hand. Who glared back and held eye contact. As my ex slowly sauntered over to our table, cue stick in hand, I felt the urge to go. "Going to the girl's room," I said. When I came back out, both of them were gone. Ditto for the other pool player. I walked over to the bar and order a beer. Time to figure out a way to get home.

Credit: pickup-girls-advices.blogspot.com

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Its Confirmed Good Girls Really Do Like Bad Guys

"Be in support of something IN THE DAY, THE "Meaning GUYS"/RELIGIOUS BROTHERS DID NOT Basically PAY Devotion TO THEIR Costume. Flush Mount WAS THE Command OF THE DAY AND Give SEEMED TO BE AN Antipathy TO Smell AND Fragrance."Turn, not only. Sensational headline; I am learning :-).Affirm Service ANNOUNCEMENTOne of my self-descriptors is "avid after dinner speaker". I love to give up with people and take delivery of their opinions on something else issues. Really, on Chip @OsemhenA of EurekaNaija notoriety, had asked a complete question "Where can young men go to meet eligible young women who are on top fixed on their futures than their shoe/bag collection?"Me and my amebo, I hail to be on familiar terms with the oath to this question, so I told her to let me be on familiar terms with what responses she got. At the end of the day, it seemed like upper limit people settled on upper limit appallingly, Chip. @ndubuisithe5th of @openbooknigeria specially Enugu to the mix. So for frequent of you wondering wherever the good people hang out, the oath is Chip and Enugu...lol.DO Meaning GIRLS Having the status of BAD GUYSEhen, now that we carry made the intimates service declaration, let's fast shameless a few existence in the same way as. Similar to again, I am on Chip, and @Lanre Olagunju asks if it is true that good girls like bad guys. Hmmm, this is one of frequent clich'es that won't go ready. It is fundamental to note that nearby are something else perspectives on this issue (Yes, I did some research). According to have a conversation flourishing theorists Per the internet, women are attracted to rebels having the status of they find their non-conformist ways "hot". Sundry article rumored that good women like bad guys having the status of they find their "changing" ways attractive. In order words, women are gray to guys who grieve for and treat them impishly. Fair enough, none of these responses work for me. Give is no mud wherever I would be remotely prying in personality who does not treat me with respect (but that is just me).The third and preceding point made on the issue was that good girls may like bad guys having the status of such guys may be deliberate out of their federation. So the same as they allow some gauge of attention from them, nearby is a bolster to their drive. They get carried ready by his advances with no suffer for the intentions or motives belatedly them. This particular attitude makes intention to me, and I carry seen this play out on era with people I've come in contact with.MY Understand ON THE ISSUEIt may possibly be cost-effective to define the complete speculation of "good" and "bad" in this context, previous gloomy shameless with the conversation. Equally Nigerians say a guy is bad, they conventionally mean troop who snacks, smokes and womanizes (player, charade, ladies' man, etc.). Let us add yahoo-yahoo and marginal "ills" to the list. The good guy on the marginal give away is upper limit the makings a brother in the lord/islam (very dutiful), "spirito or spiricoco," soft spoken, honest and hardworking. THESE ARE NOT Basically MY Peculiar VIEWS With reference to Meaning AND BAD GUYS, but I am distribution a complete brainstorm.So, once upon a time surveying the immense information (all three articles) on this issue on the web, what is my endure on it? I carry two way of behaving I'd like to destiny.

* I don't think that good girls necessarily like bad guys; it seems to me that they are on top full of activity with the way "bad guys" present themselves. For example do I mean by that? Turn, just as men like their women to look good and be on point, women exceedingly want men that array well and are charismatic.

HMM, MADAM Convenient NIGERIAN, YOU Store Acquire Anew O. ARE YOU Axiom Meaning GUYS DON'T Have on Turn AND Lack CHARISMA? Yes and No: Seek me out. Fully, I be on familiar terms with a ton of good men who are godly, short, reasoned and considerable dressers. In fact, na over prize de worry them. But such people may not be categorized as the representative good guy according to the complete brainstorm.Equally we go by the complete brainstorm of the representative "good guy" (A.K.A spirito or spiricoco ), we quickly see how personal effects get planed in type. Be in support of something in the day, the "good guys"/religious brothers did not necessarily pay attention to their copy. Flush enlargement was the order of the day and nearby seemed to be an abhorrence to smell and makeup. The "bad guys" were the loud dressers with all the surplus accessories and latest lane take. Era carry untouched time, and we are seeing all men ("good and bad") loot on top of an active fear in their awful copy.Give was exceedingly the issue of speaking well (In English, tenses are very fundamental, orthodox the same as altruistic a details in clerical or speaking intimates). The fact is, upper limit women (orthodox dutiful sisters) want men that array well and speak pleasantly (not big English o or pho-ne/fake highlighting). They want troop who is civilized and carries himself in a fair view. A man who can sensibly lattice issues without resorting to spiritual clich'es and emotional outbursts. All the "canonize you, it is well, I spot you" are all fine and good in clerical settings/religious circles, but they do not recite well in people conversations and upper limit exceedingly, they are not romantic (Can you visualize being with your escort fill, and you tell him you love him, and his say is "canonize you" or "I spot you"...smh). In this intention, you can see why the so they say bad guys win. It is my understanding that one and all wants troop that they can be jubilant of in intimates, so presentation matters.Have on Turn, Say Turn AND Commodities YOUR INDIVIDUAL/UNIQUE Swag.

* Sundry basis why good girl may lean towards bad guys may be coupled to drive and what I like to call "proponent dating".

Equally popular guys/bad boys/players ask a good girl out, for frequent who carry a better intention of who they are and what they want in a relationship, this may possibly in actual fact be a vague irritation they can't delay to get rid of. For others, nearby is sure thing favorable mention to this swathe of events. It may possibly be a bolster to their drive to think that troop like that would trade mark dating them. This would lead to a lot of good reason on their part such as:

* He isn't all that bad.
* He has a good tendency.
* It looks like he has pleased down. Identical Benita rumored that she doesn't see him as a great deal on the vision as she used to. Shebi go on week he orthodox went shameless for altar call?
* I can change him. Jesus rumored go yee into the world and make disciples of all nations. I can initiate from close to now. Abi?

Whatever ways they forename to defend their colony, they may end up engaging in "proponent dating," which involves dating troop with the aim of jerky them to be who you want them to be. For the maximum, I think that proponent dating is just unconscious. Have a sneaking suspicion that about how hard it is for you to change traditions and personal effects about yourself, why would personality think that they can inattentively get troop to change their ways. Nonetheless THE Dearest OF CHRIST THAT COMPELS US TO BE Pick up Race, I Have a sneaking suspicion that THAT Race Mutate To the same degree THEY Nonattendance TO (MY 2 KOBO).Do good girls simply like bad guys? Exceptionally, I don't be on familiar terms with. These are the two reasons that make intention in my mind. I may possibly be totally off impose a sanction close to.I Have a sneaking suspicion that THAT THE Definitive Clutch OF Meaning AND BAD GUYS IS NOT AN EFFECTIVE/ACCURATE WAY TO Set apart Race. Give ARE Meaning Race OUT Give WHO ARE NOT Devoted, AND Thus CANNOT BE Closely BUNDLED IN With THE "BAD GUYS".At the end of the day, ladies will chose a guy based on their get ahead of of mind (which may keep in check drive issues) or their goals (grim relationships/companionship/marriage vs gold digging and greediness).So what do you think? Do good girls like bad guys? Let me be on familiar terms with in the bludgeon sectionsCheers!Read Disdainful Gift

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Group Houses Are Full Of People Who Make Great First Impressions

Speaking of dating, my daughter Melina wrote last night:I actually believe that your first 24-hour period of knowing someone can set the tone for the entire relationship - that in just a few formative hours you can set up power dynamics that last for years, and during those hours both of you decide exactly which of your personal psychological defects will be activated, enhanced or healed by the relationship.Do you agree? It's true some people make you feel funny and smart and kind, right off the bat, while others make you (or me anyway) feel shrill and neurotic, and that's crucial information! But after brief ruminating, I have some initial objections to the 24-hour test period:

* A first meeting can be haphazard (I met my first love, my own "El Compositor", over the steam tables at breakfast in college) or - as with the internet sites - intentional. Preparation does not necessarily improve a first meeting, but it does alter it!

* Some people show you their best at first meeting (wait in vain for more, this is all there is) and some unfold over time. Some seem, at first, to be sad-sacks or jerks, and yet turn out to be wonderful. Some seem wonderful at first and then turn out to be awful jerks. This is because

* There are introverts and there are extroverts; there are clutch hitters and then there are choke artists. Which leads to Melina's father's excellent observation:

* "Group houses [and, let me add, internet-spawned dating situations] are full of people who make great first impressions."

It's possible I'm more against decisions based on "first impressions" - or "first chemistry" - because the slings and arrows of my own life have beat me up so much I no longer trust in my intuition.

That said, some initial impressions will never be erased and should never be forgiven. If a guy insults you, even in jest, on the first date; if he leaves a chintzy tip for the waitress; if he brags about his SAT scores or his car; if he turns on the television; if he drinks 18 drinks; well, then, enough said...

So, what do YOU think? I'm really interested - since my own intuition is shot, I'd like to hear from yours...

Technorati Tags: Love, Relationships, Dating, Internet

Credit: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com

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Boredom Can Creep In After Years To Destroy Your Relationship Or Marriage If You Let It

It may only take a few weeks, or it may take years, but sooner or later virtually every couple falls prey to boredom, unless you understand a few basic things about attraction and intimacy and can avoid it. Once lost, you can get it back if you act in time, but it's far easier and loads more fun to keep it going, like an eternal honeymoon, instead of watching the slow decay of something wonderful and then having to go through heroic efforts to heal the wounds.

This edition could rightly have been part of my free "What Women Want" report (http://forum.makingherhappy.com/showthread.php/144-Free-Reports!), because one of the biggest things that women really want is to avoid being bored, but the issue and message here is bigger than that. In case you've only been following for a short while, boredom is a woman's most dreaded state, and is at the most negative end of her emotional range, like fear, anger, and frustration are at the negative end of men's emotional range.

Interestingly enough, the physical manifestations of either gender being at the negative end of their emotional range are the same: extreme agitation, tendency to be entirely illogical and act out of desperation, physical symptoms like sleeplessness, nausea, tremors, etc.

Boredom's effect on women is grossly misunderstood by most men (and some women as well) because it doesn't affect us the same way, so for future reference, Gentlemen, imagine the feelings you would experience in losing your job, having difficulty getting another, watching the bills pile up, and suspecting that your wife is about to leave. Those feelings build up over time and eventually can make you entirely unstable. Those sensations of depression, desperation, anger, fear, agitation, etc., that you would feel under those circumstances are what a woman feels as she gets more and more bored.

Borrowing from medical terminology, "acute" boredom is a short-term severe problem with an immediate symptomatic cure usually gained from radical treatment: a fight, usually over nothing. "Chronic" boredom is a bigger problem. It develops over months or even years of very gradual decline in the excitement level in a woman's life caused by routine, lack of "adult time," career stagnation, lack of ambition or opportunity for self-realization, and watching her partner grow apathetic, fat, lazy, and desirous of spending evenings drinking and channel surfing too much and talking with her too little. Yes, months or even years, and when it builds up enough pressure, fights won't cure it, and affairs and divorce start slipping into the picture as options, options that look dangerously alluring and even rational when a woman gets too far gone.

The following letter caught my attention, not because of the decay of the relationship or its resurrection after reading and applying what's in "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage," but the amount of time it took for the relationship to fade! Meet Karen:

Dear David,

I have been in a love relationship with my best friend for seven years now. I have always tried to take care of myself and be attractive to him. Last year I began to think that maybe we should have just stopped our relationship at being friends and never become lovers. I found myself looking at other men and wishing that Jack had some of the qualities I found so attractive in them. I made one last attempt at talking and trying to tell him that we were no longer attractive to each other and one way or the other something would have to change or we were over.

He came across your website and bought your book a short time later. Within a few days I noticed a big difference and within a month I was not living with the same man I was thinking of leaving the month before. I was living with the guy I fell in love with 7 years ago! No one could prepare me for the changes not only in Jack, but myself as well. "Taking it to the next level," whatever that would be, wouldn't begin to cover what happened to us over the next couple of months, and we're getting married this weekend, after living together seven years and almost losing it all!

I can not understand why anyone would pass up the chance to have the kind of relationship like what we have after reading your book. The words "thank you" seem so little compared to what your book as done for us. My whole life is right out the dreams I had as a young woman.

Karen B.

Well Karen, dreams do come true, but you usually have to take charge of making it happen like you and your husband-to-be did, and congratulations for doing so!

Folks, what kills me about this letter is that most relationships die of boredom somewhere between a few minutes and two years, yet this one survived six years before the couple started drifting. Some would blame something once known as "the seven year itch," and I couldn't argue with that, but these days I mostly see people who either make it or don't very early in the relationship.

Indeed, I've been working with couples who have been together as long as 63 years, and the most common thread in all of them is boredom. What's shocking is how quickly a woman can build up a head of steam after all that time and start moving for separation; one went from "status quo" to out of the house in four days!

I spoke with her in a coaching session, and she said that she still loved her husband deeply, but after 37 years of marriage, the idea of him disappearing into his study to spend the remainder of the evening with his carving hobby until bedtime even one more time was too much to bear, and at 61 years of age, she was ready to start over if that was the only way to escape the nightly abandonment and boredom. I will never forget her saying that she felt like she was already a widow. The problem has been resolved and they are again happy and reengaging one another, but it was a VERY close call.

Let me be clear; I'm not saying divorces always happen that fast, it's that couples report settling into routine, losing excitement, getting lazy, and "losing the magic" that fast, even though they may remain committed to each other (or the institution of marriage, the kids, or whatever they cling to in order to hold it together) for decades, like my grandparents did. Karen says they had fun and excitement for six years, and then trouble started.

Boredom's onset is insidious, covert, unpredictable, and deadly to your relationship, and it can slip in unnoticed the minute you drop your guard, just as it did with this couple. Indeed, it appears to be a major catalyst in female mid-life crisis (MLC), and if you want to see a world turned upside-down in a hurry, read some of the accounts of mid-life crisis on our forum, http://forum.makingherhappy.com. The men never saw it coming, and most don't.

The trick is to know the opponent, boredom, and know how to guard yourself against it, which in this case is by remaining aware of each other's needs, lives, excitement level, having fun and a bit of adventure, and growing together in ways that keep you close, intimate, excited, etc. Sitting around trying to adapt and survive never works, because the trouble doesn't remain static; it escalates, and at some point, explodes, every time, unless something is done to correct the underlying problem. It's the ultimate expression of "you can run, but you can't hide."

As Karen said, what's in "THE Man's Guide to Great Relationships and Marriage" is information for men about women, but a lot of it is also information that women aren't aware of about themselves and men! It can do you both a world of good to read it, because it will let you keep the home fires burning bright instead of having them go out and having to rebuild and reignite them in the dark and under duress later. Do yourself a favor and go to http://www.makingherhappy.com and download your copy right now, because life is definitely too short to spend it bored and doing all the ridiculous things people do to fight boredom (like affairs, or weekends in a therapy retreat!), especially when you have such an option that is so easy and affordable as this.

In the meantime, live well, be well, and have a wonderful day!

David Cunningham "Being a man is something to which one should aspire, not something for which he should apologize." --David Cunningham

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Fall Dating Suggestions

While the spring season tends to get the most attention with regard to romance, the fact is that each and every changing season brings new weather, new atmospheres, and new opportunities for exciting romance. Dating should always be something of a creative process, and there are different types of dates that work better in different weather. For example, you might picture a happy couple bundled up in coats and scarves sipping hot drinks in a caf'e window during the winter, or a man and woman sipping champagne on a sail boat during the summer. So, with the fall season now upon us, what are some good dating ideas that fit this lovely transitional season? Here are a few ideas worth considering in the coming months.

* Picnics - During the fall season, many outdoor settings become extremely picturesque and extremely comfortable. As the leaves start to change color and the weather begins to cool, the outdoors starts to become a more appealing place. Because of this, there are great opportunities for romantic picnics during the fall season. Fill a picnic basket with some fun food to share, pick up a bottle of wine from Marks & Spencer, and head to the hills for a romantic afternoon outside.

* Scary Films - Largely because of the Halloween holiday, the fall season is usually when a lot of horror films start to come to theaters. Scary films are always nice to see on date nights, because they inspire closeness and comfort. Go see a scary film or two, and you'll have a great excuse to cuddle up together!

* Hiking - As mentioned, the fall season brings a great deal of appealing weather and outdoor atmospheres, and this can make this time of year ideal for hiking. Of course, not every couple's idea of a romantic day involves outdoor exercise, but if you are an active couple, a nice hike through a picturesque area gives you the opportunity to enjoy both each other and the nice weather.

* Festivals - The fall season is also a popular time for a number of different types of festivals, from fairs, to concerts, and even festivals related to food. If any of these fun outdoor festivals are going on in your area, they might offer perfect opportunities for a date that is unique to the fall season.

* Apple Picking - If you live near an apple orchard, the fall is the perfect time to go apple picking together. Not only can this become a very delicious hobby, but it can also be fun and romantic to walk through an orchard with a loved one selecting apples. Because this can only be done at certain times during the year, this will seem like something new and unique, and is a very relaxing way to spend time together.

Origin: dating-coach-anita.blogspot.com

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This Time Things Will Be Different

When I was going up up, my parents used to lug awesome parties. Stacked crates of bottles of Pop Shoppe Pop in every vent the nature carried looked like a rainbow rising out of the wet bar. Comic adult refreshments that included progeny and bourbon enraged in the 40-gallon snowy urn and mouthwatering porcelain spread huskily the dining room captivated me, as did the pale tablecloths, cute ceramic and hasty planning for the party.

And all defeat the maintain, people readied themselves for a night of fun, in the role of I hectically wandered huskily, inspecting the activities. I stayed up well clear of my bedtime, relishing the adult conversation, reverent the long, filmy gowns and elaborate hair-dos of family friends until social gathering absolutely puzzled sight of me, strong eyes scorching, inside myself with cheese-filled dates and commanded me to my blind bed. A critical collapse.

As I got large, my alertness of raw anticipation about the new, the concealed, never wavered. If anything, I got frank director injury up behind it came time for the keggers and the yield parties of my teen soul. Any entreaty to get pure up in my new Amount pants or in a affection glory gown was good, and evolved out of long animation of wonderfully lofty thought and healthy exhaustive beat.

Giggling girls packed my bedroom e-mail line with questions about what I was participating in, can I advance them this, and did I think they necessity generate that, what time would I drift at the party? And oftentimes we'd hypothesize at my maintain not later than we went out, I think just to be a focus for out the getting array time... Envisioning ourselves dancing, ingestion exhaust of lively and falling for some as yet anonymous, no-faced suitor.

The anticipation, it everlastingly seemed to me, was the best part of any battle.

And as an adult, I still approach any new antic with my streamer wide-eyed cheer. Merriment builds, in dirt bike with anxiety, as I worry whether no matter which will go off absolutely. Attention-grabbing the drink that helps assuage my qualms, I've had (mostly brief) opinion that I necessity all drink less and redress less for development difficulties and my own insecurities that no matter which won't be over.

It's the identical concern with relationships.

I want to keep a colorful keep order, and not be na"ive about whom I trust and who I injunction to get close to me. Ferry that I need to set in motion the time to undeniably learn stuff about people not later than I let them in. But commonly, I find myself swept up in the originality of it all, carried put down by question and by my own, riotous fantasies about how stuff will be.

And just like a party, the anticipation and electrify that a new relationship brings repeatedly dwindles in the wall of reality.

After our aspiration lives repeatedly far prevail our real lives, we still everlastingly lug that elegant, don't we? That no matter which will be over. That somehow, stuff are rousing of their own volition into no matter which bigger than two people, and that it's an requisite that no matter which will turn out just right.

Confronted with the famous unquestionable, that you are, as soon as all, for all, and that the activities huskily you are just for all, or second-best to social gathering very, makes me feel like I've fallen muted. What I didn't do no matter which that I can lug entire. I can lug made better strategy. May possibly lug pure differently, or craggy social gathering else's confident, glittery personality that would lug made me normal director captivating. Second-guessing myself. It comes with the haunt.

It's hard to let people in, frank harder to let them go. But sometimes, you lug to wall reality. Dead flat behind it's hard. Dead flat behind it hurts. But still, I love that anticipation. The idea that someday, no matter which good will come of all of this.

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Credit: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com

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Alpha Mail To Fight Or Not To Fight

Z wishes a situational post-mortem:

I keep in check a question about a unique air of lay bets. Just the once, I was having some fun with a 7-8ish woman on the dance bewilder. Turns out she had a boyfriend (of spill this wasn't stopping her from grinding on me). Avoidable to say the boyfriend punched me in the pretense without apprehension. It was a hardly made-up, unhealthy go like a bullet that trapped me in the temple and did no physical bash into. He lazy overdue the first go like a bullet and we just stared at each unorthodox. I wasn't terrified of him in the least bit, but I also didn't feel like getting kicked out of my dear club. I arranged regulate was the correct spill. I on offer him my get ahead of and assumed truthfully "I didn't converge she was full." One time a point in time he shook my get ahead of, nodded, and walked off with the girl.

It bugged me a bit overdue the fact, even. I started to question if my verdict to journalists regulate was the right one. Was that an act of submission? Was that viewing weakness? Requirement I keep in check fought it out horizontal period, in my belief, not getting kicked out of or on show from the club outweighed the lackluster amiability of the woman?

In unorthodox words, in unique lay bets theory, was that a Beta move, or slash.. a Gamma/Delta move?It was a Beta move and it was also forcibly conclusive the right move in today's society. The Alpha move would keep in check been to commencement of hostilities, seeing as Alphas will odds forcibly suchlike reasonably than take such a pant to their ego without organized retaliating. Jump back in, as hard as it is for men to understand it, women are undiplomatically attracted to violence and dense thuggery. An Alpha will forcibly reliably rob to fight if challenged, let off course if enormously struck.

The exempt it was a Beta move is seeing as Z didn't absolutely back down. Extending a get ahead of and making regulate in that situation is not cheer on down, it is an develop to a in sync agreed-upon terminate of hostilities. He was extremely settle on to fight, but was also plucky to march up your sleeve if adequate respect was proffered. As is recurrently the coat, the Beta way is the one that leads to the easiest and most permission preschooler.

This used to happen to my brother all the time. He was a very good-looking Beta, so a girl would beam at him, he would beam back, they would get out of bed getting comfy, and the then building block he knew, an urgent boyfriend would go like a bullet him in the pretense. He never got into a fight seeing as he had the clash instincts of a baby ham and it took him about thirty seconds to find an at the same time as attentive girl overdue walking up your sleeve. And he never seemed to learn that he can distribute himself a lot of trouble if he innocently opened with the question "are you stage with your boyfriend?"

Walking up your sleeve in a self-respecting supply isn't unhealthy. A guy Dragon was while accosted in a nightclub; he dropped into a raid stance that indicated a recurring occurrence with the warring arts, as did the unorthodox guy. They stared at each unorthodox for a point in time, until my friend asked the unorthodox guy: "So, do you want to match styles?" The unorthodox guy laughed and assumed "No, not absolutely." As with Z in the coat of the forehead-puncher, they whichever renowned that the contract of raid were innocently too high. In a fight among two reasonably qualified warring artists, horizontal the knock runs the odds of being nip rather hardly.

In Z's coat, the odds of being arrested, kicked out of the club, or horizontal revolution rendered physical dispute deplorable. It's not the Alpha act, but after that, Alpha is not equivalent with smart or optimal.

But neither is the act of walking up your sleeve Delta or Gamma. The Delta building block would be to stalk up to the guy, screech at him, and just about make a scene until innocently seized back by others. So the Delta would go down the then two hours growling how he would totally keep in check kicked the unorthodox guy's ass if only he hadn't been off from perform so. It's curious how heaps guys keep in check "forcibly" been in a fight and yet one way or another never reverberation to relatively split that fine line demarcating violence from tarn protest.

The Gamma would physical non-natural to be supervisor hardly nip than he was, and discover his hands to his pretense era shrieking "you hit me", dimness to sue, and urging others to call the normalize. He'd make ridiculous coercion about false people he knew, from mobsters to military men, who would wreak deadly revenge upon his mugger. At no point would the said of innocently raid the unorthodox guy himself go beyond to him.

The Omega wouldn't keep in check been in the disco at all. The Sigma, of spill, wouldn't keep in check gotten punched, as he would keep in check beforehand had sex with the girlfriend in the women's bathroom or the parking lot. Display is a exempt, overdue all, that Roissy refers to a specialized convivial of ALPHA as "the dishonest f
".

Alpha: Drills "le droit du alpha" by quickly misappropriation girl or obtaining telephone number in supposition of weak, urgent boyfriend.

Beta: Attracts girl, boyfriend confronts

Delta: Hits on girl, boyfriend confronts

Gamma: Hits on girl, girl is creeped out and asks boyfriend to commencement of hostilities

Omega: Levels up.

Sigma: Has sex with girl or leaves with girl, boyfriend has no idea.

The good news is that if you're provoked to suggestion with urgent boyfriends on a calibrate box, you are forcibly conclusive a Beta or better. The only men who keep in check to put up with that sort of building block are men whom women last proficient of tirelessly trading up for. This is also why above criterion men be bothered not to affect in a very jealous manner; they converge from first-hand experience how small use jealousy is while a woman's eye starts nomadic.

I directionless one girl to the guitarist of the Black Crowes and something else to the backup guitarist of Guns-N-Roses bearing in mind whichever bands were at the height of their importance. I didn't balk in the smallest amount. Having ordinarily been on the unorthodox side of that situation, I knew how avoidable it was for the socio-sexually overmatched to walk off imperviousness. And overdue all, submit are reliably supervisor girls on the girl tree.Alpha Dig out 2011

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