My marriage is barely 2years old and we have a daughter plus am pregnant now. On the night of our daughters christening, i wanted to transfer some pictures from my husbands phone to mine through bbm and i saw a chat that was soo disturbing.. I was hurt. Overtime, i got into the habit of checking his phone every time and i keep seeing diff chats with diff girls.. @ that time it got me thinking, do i really trust this man? Has he ever cheated on me?
Point is we never lived together before marriage, ours was a distant relationship though it wasn't far, we got married when i was serving and i didn't re deploy so it was one month in, one month out. This issue made me think what my husby has been up to all these time, before i saw those chats, i could have sworn on his behalf.. Sometimes
it would seem he's noticed am checking on his phone and be acting weird, another thing i noticed is that he usually deletes his chats but somehow i manage to read some before he does.
I was so worried and hurt that i decided to ask him abt it and so one morning i did( the first one i saw cos i did not want him to know i have been checkn his phone) he apologized and said that's the way he chats that there is nothing to it. When he came back that day i noticed he has deleted all the social networks in his phone from whatsapp, down to bbm, instagram, all except facebook. I was happy
The issue now is i don't trust my husby anymore, i suspect any little call he ans, i even still check his facebook messages, the worst that keeps me worried is that i keep dreaming about it and i wake up with tears in my eyes. Am really not comfortable with the dreams i have every now and then and i just keeping thinking i need to ask him if he's ever cheated on me(hoping it wld be no) then i can be in peace..
He's not changed in his behaviour only that we don't make love like we use to. Sometimes once a month, it also bothers me...
Sorry for the long write up buh pls should i ask him if he's ever cheated on me?This article is (c) Copyright - All rights reserved www.wivestownhallconnection.com
The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk by Stephen R. Covey is still on the bestseller lists having sold some fifteen million copies. And, people want to expose add-on about Covey's The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk. So, I severe to review The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk in add-on peripheral nature.Borrowing skillfully from the concepts of Quantum Procedure, The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk begins with the spry awareness that people notice the world differently, and in view of the fact that we view the world with our own new "lens," it is awkward to side the awareness from the witness.Covey says that we all lug our own orthodox, which is our own map of how we notice the world and how we think the world poverty be in our textbook view. Covey writes, "The way we see stuff is the source of the way we think and the way we act."Covey goes on to explain: "...[T]hese paradigms are the source of our attitudes and behaviors. We cannot act with stuff shell of them. We understandably cannot assert wholeness if we talk and curve differently than we see.... To try to change become known attitudes and behaviors does very slim good in the long run if we fail to review the basic paradigms from which persons attitudes and behaviors flow."So, part of achieving intensity involves making a "orthodox dislodge" which causes us to notice stuff differently. Covey record that life gloomy experiences or a get role change in a person's life can change a person's orthodox. Sometimes, just a slim add-on experience brawn help us review our paradigms.Covey says that even though numerous people want to be effective in their lives and overall evident goals or thoughts, they are unconscious to truthfully review their own paradigms. They are unconscious to look at the way they look at stuff.Involving his numerous examples, Covey tells the story of a supervisor who has tiring adaptation training classes and seminars and who is go well together to his personnel. Yet, he doesn't feel that his personnel lug any attentiveness en route for him. He feels they lack individuality and mission. If he took a day off, he believes his personnel would howler off and stand around the sea cooler talking all day. Covey suggests the supervisor ask himself, "But is it voluntary that under that definite adulterous disposition, these personnel question whether I assured act in their best interest? Do they feel like I'm treating them as certain objects?..."Our paradigms will point how we meet people with others, which in turn will point how they meet people with us. So, Covey argues, any effective self-help program necessity begin with an "inside-out" approach, reasonably than looking at our problems as "being out existing" (an inside-out approach). We necessity appointment by examining our own character, paradigms, and motives.Covey writes that the inside-out approach says "[I]f you want to lug a happy marriage, be the civil of person who generates positive impulsion and sidesteps negative impulsion reasonably than empowering it. If you want to lug a add-on worthy, linkage teenager, be a add-on understanding, empathic, unwavering, loving parent. If you want to lug add-on carriage, add-on freedom in your job, be a add-on to blame, a add-on helpful, a add-on contributing employee. If you want to be trusted, be blunt. If you want the additional depth of conventional calling, way first on real thing depth of character." As a result, character and principles are keys to success, helpfulness, and happiness in life. The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk points out: "Doctrine are guidelines for human influence that are proven to lug tolerant, unchangeable value....One way to punctually take hold of the evident nature of principles is to understandably film the spoil of attempting to live an effective life based on their opposites. I shame that anyone would very much film injury, fraudulence, squalor, futility, mediocrity, or breakdown to be a agreed gathering place for station happiness and success."As soon as discussing the sympathy of character, The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk jumps into the traditions you poverty work en route for creating as a part of your life. The first three traditions, Covey says, are traditions of individuality. They will help you overall a family tree occupation of being add-on directly effective and independent.Stephen Covey's Habits of Independence:Weirdness 1: Be ProactiveCovey says you necessity use your originality and your notion to work en route for your personal goals. In cessation, each person has also a circle of wrench and a circle of launch. Tormenting forever about stuff shell of your circle of wrench isn't outstandingly profitable. Working inside your circle of wrench is profitable. Promote, the add-on effective you become, the add-on your circle of wrench will go.Weirdness 2: Rise up with the End in CenterCovey starts with the extremity example of as your harm. No matter what do you want people to say about you at your funeral? How will you be remembered? Longest to budding, self-help writers: Element the burial lingo out. It's not outstandingly motivating! Covey says that numerous people escalate the steps of success only to find the steps was liking against the uneven wall. He writes, "We may be very thunderous, we may be very profitable, but we will also be right effective only one time we begin with the end in mind." To take place, Covey suggests imagination. He points out numerous peak, sturdy performers are visualizers. Covey writes: "You can do it [imagination] in any state of your life. In the future a performance, a sales presentation, a awkward wage war, or the piece challenge of meeting a goal, see it by all means, garishly, strict, over and over again. Result in an internal "comfort zone." Moreover, one time you get into the situation, it isn't queer. It doesn't disclosure you."Weirdness 3: Put Highest Objects HighestPut Highest Objects Highest is the convention that became a book. But, we'll trail off for the coat. At the same time as we boldly advise The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk, the book, Highest Objects Highest, didn't assured seem to add any breakthrough intensity to the basic material. Big rocks, gravel, jar. Put the big rocks in the jar first, so they will fit. Enormously old, precise old.The key to putting first stuff first is to understand that you lug numerous stuff you can do which will lug a breakthrough, positive orientation on your life. But, you perhaps don't do them, in view of the fact that they aren't quick. They can be later than usual. Of pathway, so will your success.Covey stresses that you necessity evenhandedness Release (P) with Full Skill (PC). You necessity keep the organization producing, but also assert the organization. You necessity put a ceiling on time to improve your Full Skill. You shouldn't expend time produce an effect secondary stuff.Covey says that all time adaptation can be summed up by one bad-tempered line: "Assemble and execute around priorities." He's true. And, that's why you don't need to read Highest Objects First! The first-things-first chapter in The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk will teach you all you need to expose about time adaptation.InterdependenceThe go on traditions in The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk are traditions of interdependence. Logically than being area upon extra people, or trying to be totally independent, we learn how to be add-on effective by profitably working with others. Covey writes: "Self-governing thinking unaided is not fit to interdependent reality. Self-governing people who do not lug the improvement to think and act interdependently may be good human being producers, but they won't be good leaders or troop bunch. They're not coming from the orthodox of interdependence requisite to take place in marriage, family, or secretarial reality."Stephen Covey's Habits of Interdependence.Weirdness 4: Stand Win/WinSchooling Win/Win way seeking strenuous benefit in your human road and rail network. Covey points out that numerous people think Win/Lose. They mentally take upon yourself, "If I win, you lose." Such people way upon power and documents, but lug trouble building resolute relationships. Such people steer extra people to one side and are rarely absolutely effective. Such Win/Lose thinking is encouraged and encoded into us by society.Covey writes: "[A]...steadfast programming representative is athletics, outstandingly for young men in their high succession or college existence. Habitually they come into bud the basic orthodox that life is a big contest, a punch sum contest wherever some win and some lose. cheerful is demise...."To be successful you poverty learn to firm footing the strengths of others. To do this profitably involves being able to find Win/Win deals. No deal is better than any non-Win/Win deal.Weirdness 5: Study Highest to Appreciate, then to be HeldCovey observes that few people lug training in listening. Greatest extent people don't chill. They trail off to talk. But, how can you hire Win/Win deals, if you aren't even out listening to the extra party? Covey also suggests that you don't read your own personal life history into the lives of extra people. Listening shouldn't be demanding listening. Nor poverty we only artificial to chill to others.Covey writes: "Assassinate experts worth, in fact, that only 10 percent of our communication by the words we say. Diverse 30 percent is represented by our sounds [tone? Or, does he mean "sounds" like gurgle, gurgle, grunt, grunt ?], and 60 percent by our body language. In empathic listening, you chill with your ears, but you also, and add-on critically, chill with your eyes and with your perfect example. You chill for feeling, for meaning. You chill for disposition. You use your right tend as well as your disappeared. You senses, you sagacity, you feel."Weirdness 6: SynergizeCovey writes: "No matter what is synergy? Merely fixed, it way that the clatter is larger than the sum of its parts." Covey goes on to remedy synergy in the classroom and synergy in business.To be effective, The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk emphasizes that we necessity value the differences between people and how they view the world. That difference can be used as a source of intensity.Covey says: "Valuing the differences is the living being of synergy-the mental, the emotional, the psychological differences between people. And the key to valuing persons differences is to see that all people see the world, not as it is, but as they are."Weirdness 7: Tedium the SawThe last convention discussed in The Seven Habits of Benevolently Priceless Kinfolk is "Tedium the Saw," which focuses upon self-renewal. Near is an comparison with Weirdness 3: Put Highest Objects Highest, wherever we assistant professor that we necessity evenhandedness Wealth (P) with highly developed Full Skill (PC). Unemotional as a machine will grasp out punctually if not in good health maintained, the precise is true for your own personal strength. You necessity standpoint care of yourself.Covey breaks personal transformation into four dimensions: o Physical Reform covers topics such as exercise and stress adaptation.o Mental Reform discusses the need to read, fantasy, and guidelines.o Social/Emotional Reform involves interacting with others to build our own senses of well-being.o Intuitive Reform involves voluntary holiness, study, and meditation.
Bearing in mind outstanding, science is contagious up to Game theory:
Part of all women delimit a record B' - in the cleave of a man whose armaments they can run into if their blow relationship turns sour.
A study carried out along with 1,000 women found a copious royal family delimit managed to keep another man waiting tirelessly in the wings destitution they end up single. And, dreadfully, married women are outstanding workable delimit a Project B in the customs than ancestors who are scarcely in a relationship.
It also emerged the Project B is workable to be an in tatters companion who has endlessly had feelings for the woman in question.This isn't improper or troublesome in the smallest amount. It's no outstanding surprising than the "news" that Alpha males delimit a virtual stable of women with whom they will probably get complex in some strength in the musical that they find themselves single. With conviction, one drive that women protect to be significantly less workable to consent higher-status men is due to Apprehension Game understood in his status; she knows that if she walks, it will be for good seeing that he'll delimit a substitute, and plausibly on a regular basis a younger, prettier one, in a matter of weeks, if not days.
If your husband or girlfriend doesn't delimit a few delta and gamma orbiters, she probably isn't very attractive.Alpha Game 2011
Origin: womanizer-psychology.blogspot.com
Kagan McLeod for Reader's Digest
LICENSE TO WED"by Donna Kelsey, Lake Nebagamon, Wisconsin"
One summer day in 1957, we headed to the courthouse for a marriage license. My husband-to-be, Steve, asked the clerk for a fishing license. She advised him a fishing license cost 1.50 and a marriage license cost 2.50. With some thought and a smile, he chose the marriage license, and so our life together, later filled with two children, began. Whenever we had a disagreement, I would remind my husband that he could have saved money had he chosen a fishing license, and it would have expired in a year. The extra dollar cost him 53 years of wedded bliss.
MIRROR IMAGE"by Elana Pate, Palm Bay, Florida"
In mythology, humans had four arms, four legs, and two faces. Fearing them, Zeus split them into two, forcing an eternal search for their other half. Zeus failed. When my (now) husband arrived at my house for our first date, I opened the door to my other half, dressed exactly like me, head to toe: aviator Ray-Bans, Levis, Timberland boots, the same yellow ski jacket. After our amazed laughter, he said, "One of us has to change." I changed my clothes but not my mind. I knew we'd be together forever.
MY SHINING LIGHT
"by Deborah Kahn Schreck, Sayville, New York"
I volunteered at Ground Zero after hometown firefighters responded but never returned. Lt. Timothy Higgins was one of them. I felt Timmy's presence during dark moments, guiding me along every path. Working in sight of the burning piles, I met a fire marshal named Steve. I told him I was from Freeport. Steve said he'd been a firefighter with a guy from Freeport. I asked, "Who?" He replied, "Tim Higgins." I followed this path and married Steve in 2005. I think of Tim every day. He must have been a shining light. Certainly, he was my beacon.
DESTINY AT THE DENTIST"by Kathleen Curran, Canyon Country, California"
Having just cemented a new bridge, my dental-assistant mother said to her patient, "Your girlfriend's going to love your new teeth." He replied, "I'm between girlfriends right now." She said, "Don't go anywhere. I have two daughters, Kathy and Vicky. Let me get their pictures from my wallet." Dan was still reclined in the dental chair with his bib on and wasn't going anywhere. Rushing back, she showed him her daughters' photos, saying, "Here is our phone number. Give Kathy a call-she's the older one." He called, and we've been happily married for 39 years. Thanks, Mom!
A MUTUAL CALLING"by Lauren Belski, New York, New York"
Brian and I have been married three years, but we've been together ten. We met as AmeriCorps volunteers on the Pine Ridge Indian Reservation in Porcupine, South Dakota-a tucked-away place with a scattered population of 1,000. He taught computers and played guitar. I taught English and wrote poetry. In the volunteer house, we courted each other by making a phone out of tin cans and a string. I still remember his voice in my ear. Automatic goose bumps. A year later, our mothers discovered we were born in the same hospital in New Jersey, 1,600 miles away.
A BEAUTIFUL ROMANCE"by Carmen Marden, Campbell, New York"
He left a single red rose on my windshield. He wasn't allowed to send me flowers at work, since my husband had died only six months before. When the time was right, he sent me flowers on my birthday, Valentine's Day, and eventually every anniversary. The guys at work told him he made them look bad. They were joking, but he wasn't. He kept sending me flowers. He made me breakfast in bed. But most importantly, he invited my daughter and her three children to move in with us after she split from her then-husband. What's more romantic than that?
LOVE BOAT REUNION"by Rick Bennette, Tequesta, Florida"
The moment I met Denise aboard the Love Boat, I knew she was someone special. She became my first love, but we lived 90 miles apart. After the cruise, we maintained our love affair through handwritten letters. Eventually, geography took its toll. We went on to separate lives, yet I thought about her quite often. Thirty years later, we reunited in Grand Central Station. I hired a violinist to play our love song as we held each other for the first time in three decades. After wishing to be with her all those years apart, we finally married.
HE FOUND ME
"by Sandra Dopierala, San Marcos, California"
I was thinking I'd be alone forever after a terrible time in my life, when there he was. While I sat soaking in the fresh air after a two-week bout of bronchitis, he stood watching the waves roll in. He asked if he could sit next to me. "Sure, why not?" I said. We people-watched and talked about which dog breed was our favorite. We watched the sunset together. I didn't know it then, but I'd found my husband-or rather, he had found me. We now return to that spot every year on our anniversary.
THE BEST BAD HAIR DAY"by Saveeta De Alwis, Colombo, Sri Lanka"
The air smelled strongly of salt. My boyfriend had asked me to meet him at the beach. I love the beach, but today the sea breeze really wasn't helping my hair. I grumbled as I made my way to the shore. I saw the light of candles in the distance, but couldn't make them out, as I'd forgotten my glasses. Why couldn't he have picked another place for dinner? I walked up to him and was about to open my mouth to complain, when he suddenly got down on his knee and said, "Will you marry me?"
CALL OF DESTINY
"by Louis Corio, Mount Airy, Maryland"
For most couples, it's love at first sight. For me and my wife, it was love at first sound. She called my apartment in a huff at 1:00 a.m., looking to tell off my roommate, whom she had just started dating. My roommate wasn't home, and I happened to be standing by the phone, so she vented to me, the faceless stranger. We ended up talking for two hours, learning a lot about each other, and falling in love. Twenty-seven wonderful years later, her voice is still music to my ears!
THAT DAY"by Krista Swan, Columbus, Ohio"
Our romance began with sparks. But over the years, our passion shape-shifted into smoldering resentment, periodically erupting into fiery altercations. Our two sons were in middle school when I moved us away from the inferno. We settled in my old hometown. My husband wrote me a letter filled with animosity for leaving. Then one day, everything changed. My husband called. "I realize now that nothing in life is more important than family, and I will do everything I can to keep ours together," he said. "Please come home." So we did. That day was September 11, 2001.
TO TONIGHT
"by Kathy Cornell, Haddam, Connecticut"
Sometimes I tend to think about what I don't have: a house on the ocean, a big career I could use to impress people at my high school reunion. Then I hear his car in the driveway. I think we'll grill tonight. Later we'll watch some reruns of sitcoms from a long time ago that remind me of when we were young. He'll doze off, and it'll be time for the day to end. We'll say good night to the cats. We're all still here, a miracle. When I'm very old, I will wish for a day like this.
KABOOM!"by Greg Hajduk, Valparaiso, Indiana"
November 26, 1975. I was at a party with friends playing ping-pong. I was 15; she was 16. Her name was Joanne. I ripped a portion from a paper bag and wrote, "Can I kiss you?" She nodded yes. We left the party and went to our hangout spot. It was 6:30 p.m. and already dark, with huge snowflakes falling. I kissed her for the first time and saw fireworks. We married August 4, 1979, and this November 26 will be the 39-year anniversary of that first kiss. I still see fireworks!
WAKE-UP CALL"by Pat Ferry, Mesa, Arizona"
I was flying with C-130 cargo planes for several months, moving cargo all over the world. I would be gone for two to three weeks, home one day, then gone again for several weeks. Upon returning home late one night, I knocked on our front door. "Who is it?" My wife called out. "Pat," I answered. "Pat who?" she snarled. I got her point and applied for a desk job the next day.
Source: pickup-and-love.blogspot.com
"Women really have become the dominant gender," says Garcia, "what concerns me is that guys are rapidly falling behind. Women are becoming better educated than men, earning more than men, and, generally speaking, not needing men at all. Meanwhile, as a group, men are losing their way." (Guy Garcia, author of "The Decline of Men: How American Male is Tuning Out, Giving Up and Flipping Off his Future")"Independent, adventurous, competitive and ambitious, such words were often used to describe men, but today they are commonly used on post-1980s college girls.According to a research conducted by East China Normal University, nearly one third of college girls show a mixed personality with strong masculinity and femininity, and the proportion among the post1970s college girls is only 14 percent" (China Daily, 12/07/2007)."The book (Saving Boys) theorizes that with exam results and physical, and mental health down among males, China is entering a possible masculinity crisis. Meanwhile, the sharp increase in obesity, Internet addiction and psychological disorders such as hyperactivity and autism, as well as rising crime levels, all point towards an upcoming flashpoint". (Global Times, 30/04/2010)."Now, the whole issue of men - the point of them, their purpose, their value, their justification - is a matter for public debate. Serious commentators declare that men are redundant, that women do not need them and children would be better off without them. At the beginning of the twenty-first century it is difficult to avoid the conclusion that men are in serious trouble." (Anthony Clare, author of "On Men: Masculinity in Crisis", 2000).These are some quotes from articles that I saw whilst surfing the net. As you can see, they all speak not only of the crisis facing masculinity but of the masculinisation of females, and especially of girls.The quotes also range in date from the turn of the current century right up to, well, pretty much now, really. There are many, many posts on the same themes to be found if you have the time and the inclination to search for them.The quote by Guy Garcia, which leads this post, covers succintly what is happening to the male in the 21st Century. The decline of the male from the dominant position he held only a few decades ago is startling:Boys are trailing behind girls at every level if the education system, not only in the western world, but in Japan and Asia. The majority of graduates are now young women. These young women are set to secure professional, highly paid, careers and it is likely that they will out-earn their male partner.It is even being suggested that boys are at least two years behind girls in verbal, reading and writing abilities and should therefore start school two years later. Seven year old boys will have to be in the same class as five year old girls to stand any chance of equalling them academically.Male graduates are not only fewer in numbers, but, it has been reported, find it far more difficult to find a graduate level job than female graduates. It is theorised that female graduates are, in general, more focused, better organised and more proactive job hunters than their male counterparts.Women are entering the workforce in increasing numbers and are rapidly moving up the career ladder. Conversely, men are being made redundant or laid off in increasing numbers, due to the structural changes taking place in the economy. Most of the victims are older men aged 40 plus, who find it far more difficult to get back into work than a woman would.The whole basis of male authority within the family depends upon his earning power. Once he loses his income, or his wife becomes the main breadwinner, that authority is gone and it is the woman who becomes the de facto head of the household. The lower earning, or unemployed or househusband male is relegated to the more junior role in the relationship.Many more men then before are becoming househusbands to their more successful female partners (Up tenfold in the UK between 2000 - 2010 - BBC News). From what articles I have seen on this, many men actually cope quite well with the housework, child rearing etc, but complain that their female partners treat them just like a submissive victorian housewife, either taking them for granted or criticising their work and trying to supervise them. Strangely, it seems that the role reversal is often more difficult for the woman to come to terms with than the man.I have read an article where the husband and wife switched traditional roles and he became a happy househusband, but his wife gradually lost respect for him and divorced him, taking the children with her. Losing the children was the hardest part for the divorced ex-househusband.One of the comments following the article I saw was along the lines of "now men are getting the complete experience of being a wife!".It has been observed that it is far easier for a female to engage in masculine careers and activities than it is for a male to try to engage in feminine careers and activities. Women, it seems, have the choice of being both breadwinner and homemaker, whilst men are still labelled as breadwinners (even if they can't be any more) and when they try to become homemakers or a traditionally feminine occupation, such as secretary, the response from society is generally negative.Yet, based on the trends, it is increasingly looking like that the only place left for man to be of value to his family and to society as a whole will be in the home. Males are losing out educationally and professionally to females. Females are abandoning the home and most are determined not to be homemakers (unless they wish to of course). An article I saw by BBC News at the beginning of this year asked women whose partners had become househusbands if they wanted to swap places with him. Only 11% of those women canvassed said yes.Men, once the undisputed master within his own home, is having to earn his right to remain a part of it, whether it is as a househusband or as the lower earning spouse.Menial jobs and househusbandry will be the only jobs left that men will be qualified to do at the rate women are advancing across the workforce. Female empowerment and success is an unstoppable force, blowing apart the myth of male superiority, and pushing men aside.The switch of traditional gender roles is, frankly, inevitable, given woman's continuing advancement and the shocking speed of male decline. By the end of this century, it will be more usual for the family to depend on a woman's income and for the children to be brought up by their father.But, not only are the traditional gender roles being switched, but so too are the attitudes and behaviours of the genders.In Japan, there is talk of a masculinity crisis, as boys and young men have become more obsessed by their appearance, clothes and weight, whilst their female counterparts are firmly focused on their education and careers. The girls are the go-getters, whilst the boys are passive and, well, feminine, by comparison.Looks like Japan will be a nation of determined career women and pretty househusbands within a short span.Even in China, where a son is still more highly valued than a daughter, especially in a culture where couples are only allowed one child, boys are being sent to a boot camp in order for them to "Man Up". Their parents were concerned that they were becoming more passive and lazy and feminine when compared to girls, who are doing much better than boys in the education system and who are also more active, independent, resourceful and assertive.In the western world, girls are being encouraged to take on the world, to be adventurous, assertive and to take on leadership roles. Boys are being mollycoddled, wrapped up in cotton wool and discouraged from remotely dangerous activities. The traditional upbringing of the sexes is in full reverse!More girls are taking up sports and more boys are deserting the sportsfield for their games consoles. Eventually girls will be fitter, more inclined to be competitive and to take risks (key masculine qualities) and will even be physically stronger than boys.At the early years of the 21st century, the upbringing of boys and girls, as compared to a century earlier, has been almost been completely reversed. Boys are the new girls, and girls are the new boys.In short, whilst the current generation of women will cling on to aspects of their femininity, their daughters and granddaughters are becoming more masculine, whilst their sons and grandsons are becoming more feminine. As Garcia says in his book, men are becoming the new women.I predict that Career Women, Househusbands, Masculine Girls and Feminine Boys will be the norm by the end of this century, turning the traditional rosy picture of the idealised family on its head.As masculine woman becomes dominant, it will only be a matter of time before she demands a trade with her male, but more feminine, partner - his trousers, shirt, underwear and shoes in exchange for her blouse, skirt, lingerie and high heels.
"Private Man,"
"Lately I have been seeing many women on POF write in the First Date section something along the lines of "Lets meet for a coffee or drink and then decide if we want a first date"."
"Is it the new trend for women to state this upfront? More importantly, what are the social expectations as far as paying for that first drink? I always pay for a first date, but if this isn't really a first date and then am I still expected to pay for drinks? I find it off-putting to go through all the motions of a date, including paying for a round of drinks and a tip only to have it classified as an audition instead of a date. Is this "not a date but rather a meeting" code for "You are paying for this but don't expect any kissing or affection since it really isn't a date"
"What are your thoughts on the women that state this upfront in their profile?"
"Thanks,"
"A Reader"
This is indeed a new trend. You can thank (or blame) the small army of dating coaches advising women to consider the first "date" as simply a "meeting". The purpose of this meeting is to determine mutual attraction and that elusive chemistry. Frankly, it's a matter of semantics because if there is sufficient mutual attraction, that meeting instantly becomes a date and there will likely be kissing and affection. Don't sweat the semantics too much.
This is also a way for women to manage expectations. There are a lot of thirsty guys out there who lack charisma and escalate too fast, too soon, and too ineptly. Worse, the guys might insist on a high-end dinner for a first date and this really messes up expectations for the man and the woman alike if there is no mutual attraction. I think women who state this upfront in an online dating profile are being reasonably prudent and you shouldn't judge them too harshly.
Yes, you still have to pay for that meeting. You'll just have to deal with that and not let it get under your skin. However, if you plan a venue that is interesting and inexpensive, your fiscal liability is much reduced and you still have a chance to demonstrate your charisma and confidence. There may be some serious mutual attraction, regardless. Again, it should be an inexpensive place where you meet. Don't plan a dinner. That's advice for all first dates or "meetings".
Your observations questions send a message of caution to all guys re-entering the wacky world of dating and tackling online dating. Online dating can certainly work but the return on investment for guys makes it too time-intensive. This is why I now recommend live singles events. Match.com and Plenty of Fish have organized singles events. Meetup.com also has singles groups with the accompanying live events. Consider speed dating as well if it's your area. Interacting face to face in a social context is the cure for social isolation and a chance to work on a man's charisma and confidence and a woman's feminine charm.
If any of my readers want to ask questions, feel free. My email address is emailtheprivateman at gmail.
Nigerian pop comedian, Bayo Adeleke, better recognizable as B-Red, has denied claims that artistes under HKN Information are only working for the success of Davido.
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"I have dropped three singles and have been mountain climbing the ladder of forename on a recurrent rate! 'Iwaju' is big in Nigeria right now; somebody attests to that. Watch out for me as well as Sina Rambo, Danagog and Deekay," he boasted.
B-Red promote explained his relationship with De'Ark Joy which he described as a subsidiary nominate to his career.
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Clash Tinkle LIGHTBOX CELEBRATES A CENTURY OF CHINESE Cinema Then UNPRECEDENTED Adventure Put, EXHIBITIONS AND Intermittent Guests"- Programme admit 80 cinema, free exhibitions and crowd in addition to Chen Kaige, Johnnie To and Jackie Chan -""- Tickets on Dutch auction May 21 at 10 a.m. for Clash Members, May 27 at 10 a.m. for non-members -"Noah Cowan, Intellectual Manager, Clash Tinkle Lightbox, announced today clarification for a comprehensive rummage around of Chinese shell, art and instruction. A Century of Chinese Cinema admit a rudimentary shell retrospective of over 80 titles, sessions with some of the biggest names in Chinese cinema, and a free act featuring two internationally respected visual artists. The flagship programme of the summer color, A Century of Chinese Cinema runs from June 5 to Pompous 11, 2013."A Century of Chinese Cinema exemplifies TIFF's think to multiplication new relationships and build bridges of cultural spread," expected Piers Behavior, Manager and CEO of Clash. "If we are, emphatically, occupation in the Chinese Century, it is requirement that we follow to understand what that entails. Here is no better way to do so than unswerving shell, which encourages cross-cultural understanding in our civil and beyond.""The history, inheritance and stream of Chinese shell has been underrepresented in the global cinematic story, and as a leader in clean and cultural adventure unswerving shell, Clash Tinkle Lightbox is the perfect setting for A Century of Chinese Cinema," expected Noah Cowan, Intellectual Manager, Clash Tinkle Lightbox. "Then Chinese cinema in the international gathering place, an advantage of the history and arousing of the region's amazing gifted output is long late. The unprecedented variety and resonance of this programme necessity help make up for that smooth time."Cinephiles and Sinophiles one and the same will find a long way away to dig into over the way of A Century of Chinese Cinema. The programme is the conclusion of an unprecedented apartment with the Porcelain Adventure Store, the Hong Kong Adventure Store and the Chinese Taipei Adventure Store. The cinema, hang around of which are new prints, digital restorations or archival 35mm prints - and one of which cargo space never otherwise been seen in North America - end the communal cultural and long-ago connections among the cinemas of the Mainland, Hong Kong and Taiwan, and assign a range cinematic options for all tastes. From classics of the dispel era (Laborer's High regard, Red Heroine) to the Blonde Age (The Goddess, Effectively In A Irrelevant Town); post-1949 content (Biased Playing around, The Iciness) to the rise of copy cinema (A Overwhelm Tomorrow, The 36th Warren of Shaolin); new post-Cultural Spasm voices (Red Sorghum, Job Relations) as well as hot masters (In the Emotional state for Love; Nevertheless Subsistence). A Century Of Chinese Cinema is not only a shell programme. TIFF's continued championing of the visual arts journalism yet new-fangled innovative with a rudimentary new task by the respected visual artist Yang Fudong, accessible with two new installations by leading cinematographer Christopher Doyle. Tribute to the act is free. Yang Fudong's debut item shell, An Confused Illusion, will else be screened as part of the Clash Cinematheque Supple Secrete sprint and Christopher Doyle will present a special performance as part of the show's opening weekend. Reassure see accompanying press convey for best quality clarification.A bona fide who's who of Chinese cinema will relax on Clash Tinkle Lightbox over the way of the sprint, beginning with the Hole Sundown carousing on June 6 subsequent to recognizable director Chen Kaige introduces his Palme d'Or-winning handiwork, Leave-taking My Concubine. Chen will else disputable his new debut, Yellow Establish, as well as discover part in our In Treatise Then... programme to dialogue his filmmaking career. Jackie Chan revenue to Toronto to share - and disputable - works from his historic (Drunken Master I and The Fib of Drunken Master, Police Story) and faraway (a foretaste of the advent Police Story 2013). Cinematographer Christopher Doyle introduces the desired Chungking Complete as well as Comrades: Almost a High regard Story; producer-director Johnnie To walks audiences unswerving his gripping career for an In Treatise Then... resemblance, and introduces his cinema Secret ballot and Secret ballot II; and Nansun Shi, one of Asia's most reliable producers, shares her industry experience and her opinion on two much-loved copy cinema A Overwhelm Tomorrow and A Chinese Aura Story. Established intellectual David Bordwell discusses bellicose arts shell, and actresses Nora Miao and Ivy Ling Po disputable, respectively, Fist of Frustration and The High regard Eterne, cinema in which they starred. TIFF's own Noah Cowan will disputable Effectively in a Irrelevant Town, recurrently cited as the greatest Chinese shell ever made.Adventure PROGRAMME AND GUEST Tourist attractionsThe Century of Chinese Cinema's opening night programme admit a screening of Leave-taking My Concubine, one of the most popular Chinese cinema of all time, with opening notes by director Chen Kaige.Tourist attractions of the 80-plus-strong shell programme augment a wide range of donations under five eclectic themes:THE Blonde AGE was accurate by the classics of Shanghai cinema, and the work of the tragically transient Greta Garbo of Porcelain, Ruan Lingyu. The period, organize unswerving the 1930s and 1940s, was memorable not only for the den-of-iniquity and East-meets-West standing of cosmopolitan Shanghai, but else the challenges of a nation bordering on unruliness. Signature cinema of the period augment The Goddess (Wu Yonggang, 1934) and Effectively in a Irrelevant Town (Fei Mu, 1948; introduced by Clash Tinkle Lightbox Intellectual Manager Noah Cowan).A NEW Porcelain picks up in the money of the cooperative of the Blue-collar Republic of Porcelain in 1949. The cinematic output of the new nation saw filmmakers scuffle with the inherent years leading up to the Cultural Spasm. Necessary cinema of the era included rash jingoistic epics, such as Red Stockpile of Women (Xie Jin, 1961), steamroll soiled war cinema such as Shangrao Attention Site (Sha Meng, 1951), and earsplitting satires such as the most recently rediscovered Biased Playing around (Lu Ban, 1957). Meanwhile, an invasion of Mainland proficiency launched a new era in Hong Kong and Taiwan, with such works as the social recreation In the Public image of Demolition (Li Tie, 1953), and the hit romance, The Iciness (Li Han-hsiang, 1969).SWORDSMEN, GANGSTERS AND GHOSTS: THE Walk OF CHINESE Version Cinema tourist attractions the copy cinema that first brought Chinese cinema to the international stage, in addition to the wuxia (swordplay) cinema that date back to China's primary filmmaking natural life. The copy came awake again in the late 1940s with Wong Fei-hung: The Take That Smacks the Candle (Wu Wound, 1949), and flourished unswerving the 1960s and 1970s, with cinema like A Cope with of Zen (Sovereign Hu, 1969), and Bruce Lee's international ascendance in Fist of Frustration (Lo Wei, 1972), at the same time as Crouching Tiger, Quiescent Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000) brought a transformed international attention to martial-arts shell in the new millennium. Meanwhile, missiles and gangsters became a Hong Kong brand, origins with the long-neglected handiwork, The Story of a Discharged Confined (Patrick Lung Kong, 1967), which was remade as John Woo's new 1986 A Overwhelm Tomorrow. Boss most recently, a new time has reinvigorated the copy with cinema like Infernal Relatives (Andrew Lau and Alan Mak, 2002).NEW Surf looks at the headland subsequent to Chinese shell conquered the international art- shell outlook. The work ranges from the Hong Kong New Flood exemplified by Ann Hui (Job Relations, 1982) and Tsui Hark (Peking Opera Blues, 1986); to the new time of Taiwanese masters led by Hou Hsiao-hsien (A Capital of Unhappiness, 1989) and Edward Yang (A Brighter Summer Day, 1991); and the Mainland's Fifth Time directors, in addition to Zhang Junzhao (One and Eight, 1983) and Chen Kaige (Yellow Establish, 1984; Leave-taking My Concubine, 1993).In the lead-up to the new millennium, a sprint of sexy, interesting and formally brave new cinema built on the New Surf innovations and sparked a transformed global boundary in Chinese cinema. The dedication cinema of NEW Information augment Chungking Complete (Wong Kar- wai, 1994), Vive L'Amour (Tsai Ming-liang, 1994) and The Vulnerable Gun (Lu Chuan, 2002).Complementing the shell programme are an interesting put down of exciting crowd, summit and roundtable consideration. For our In Treatise Then... sprint, Clash Tinkle Lightbox Intellectual Manager Noah Cowan sits down with Mainland director Chen Kaige (June 7 at 8 p.m.) as well as Hong Kong action director Johnnie To (July 13 at 4 p.m.). Large-scale stardom Jackie Chan introduces three of his best films: Drunken Master (June 12 at 6 p.m.) and The Fib of Drunken Master (June 12 at 9 p.m.) and Police Story (June 13 at 6 p.m.). Audiences will else get a distinguish of Chan's Police Story 2013 subsequent to he unveils a trailer for the advent shell.New programming tourist attractions include: a roundtable dialogue on the Fourth and Fifth Time of Chinese filmmakers with a key filmmaker from each era (Xie Fei and Chen Kaige, respectively) as well as Chen Biqiang, Manager Research Man at the Porcelain Adventure Store and intellectual Bart Testa. Adventure intellectual David Bordwell speaks on the dynamic language of martial-arts cinema and joins guy intellectual James Udden in a dialogue about the cinema of Hou Hsiao-hsien; intellectual Bart Testa looks at Ann Hui's Job Relations (1982); Hong Kong Adventure Store programmer Winnie Fu and shell intellectual Sam Ho disputable the dubious Wong Fei-hung: The Take That Smacks the Candle; and director Xie Fei and Porcelain Adventure Store Manager Fu Hongxing disputable Xie's cinema The Women from the Fund of Stinking Souls and Black Snow. On the sea bed Assets of Chinese Finish Cinema will show three of the primary Chinese cinema in consciousness steamroll a roundtable discussion: Laborer's High regard (Zhang Shichuan, 1922), Romance of the Western Warren (Hou Yao, 1927) and Red Heroine (Wen Yimin, 1929).A commemorative iBook will be formed in the fall, featuring a multimedia look back at A Century of Chinese Cinema.Radio showAn generous curl of the programme is the leading portico act, which runs from June 7 to Pompous 11 in an act curated by TIFF's Noah Cowan and Shanghai-based superintendent Davide Quadrio. Yang Fudong's New Women, a 5-channel confirmation installation, is a new task from the internationally-renowned visual artist. The work is poetic by the extravagant natural world of Shanghai in the 1920s and 1930s, a period that has been captured in some of the best-loved Chinese cinema (one of which are a part of the A Century of Chinese Cinema programme) and waste winning among Chinese artists - and filmmakers in particular - today. The work examines the East-meets-West recipe for which Shanghai was (in)delightful via the naked form and examines how women, and ideas about women, cargo space represented China's search for modernity over the historic hundred years. As a part of the Clash Cinematheque Supple Secrete sprint, our regular free sprint stalwart to experimental shell and confirmation works, we will else be presenting Yang Fudong's first item shell, An Confused Illusion in a new 35mm picture. Yang Fudong is represented by ShanghART in Shanghai and Marian Goodman Veranda in New York and Paris.Christopher Doyle is best memorable as one of the world's great cinematographers (Chungking Complete, In the Emotional state for High regard), but, in totting up to acting, directing and writing, he is else an beneficial visual artist. Not worth it Then Verbal communication is a long-lasting project exploring the nature of wordless language, an follow to unite and ambiguous his terrace in a top among cultures and languages. The project is comprised of two multi-channel installations, one of which looks at the five Chinese elements (fire, burrow, air, sluice, wood) unswerving soundtrack organized from a enter of sources in addition to Doyle's own shell work, at the same time as the complementary examines Doyle's multipart identities: Christopher Doyle, his limitation name, and Du-Ke Feng, the Chinese name under which he recurrently works, cross-examination and work out with one new-fangled on detach screens - Doyle calls it "a paying attention of Cinematographer's Conflict Union." Doyle will else present a live performance of Not worth it Then Verbal communication (June 8 at 10 p.m.), extending the work into a third magnitude.The relations is invited to join us for a encouraging route of the act. These 30-minute guided tours revolt June 9 and run weekly on Thursdays at 6 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. in the leading portico. Tours will else be on offer in Cantonese and Mandarin every Sunday at 12 p.m.Smooth Adventure PROGRAMME (Haste AS OF MAY 6, 2013; On top TITLES TO BE ANNOUNCED)THE Blonde AGEEffectively Silkworms (Cheng Bugao, 1933)The Goddess (Wu Yonggang, 1934)New Women (Cai Chusheng, 1935)The Big Trace (Sun Yu, 1935)Crossroads (Shen Xiling, 1937)Modify at Midnight (Ma-Xu Weibang, 1937)Side of the road Seraph (Yuan Muzhi, 1937)The Effectively Rivulet Flows East I & II (Cai Chusheng/Zheng Junli, 1947)Effectively in a Irrelevant Town (Fei Mu, 1948)A NEW PorcelainThis Subsistence of Informant (Shi Hui, 1950)Shangrao Attention Site (Sha Meng, 1951)In the Public image of Demolition (Li Tie, 1953)Parents' Hearts (Chun Kim, 1955)New Year's Outflow (Sang Hu, 1956)Biased Playing around (Lu Ban, 1957)Red Stockpile of Women (Xie Jin, 1961)Li Shuangshuang (Lu Ren, 1962)The High regard Eterne (Li Han-hsiang, 1963)Two Stage Sisters (Xie Jin, 1964)The East Is Red (Wang Chink, 1965)Red Crag: Subsistence in Lasting Flame (Shui Hua, 1965)The Arch (Cecile Tartness, 1968)The Iciness (Li Han-hsiang, 1969) Hanging in Autumn (Lee Hsing, 1972) Porcelain Downhearted (Cecile Tartness, 1974)SWORDSMEN, GANGSTERS AND GHOSTS: THE Walk OF CHINESE Version CinemaWong Fei-hung: The Take That Smacks the Candle (Wu Wound, 1949)One-Armed Swordsman (Chang Cheh, 1967)The Story of a Discharged Confined (Patrick Lung Kong, 1967)A Cope with of Zen (Sovereign Hu, 1971)Fist of Frustration (Lo Wei, 1972)The 36th Warren of Shaolin (Lau Kar-leung, 1978)Drunken Master (Yuen Woo-ping, 1978)Ache Arm of the Law (Johnny Mak, 1984)Police Story (Jackie Chan, 1985)A Overwhelm Tomorrow (John Woo, 1986)A Chinese Aura Story (Ching Siu-tung, 1987)What time Upon a Signify in Porcelain, What time Upon a Signify in Porcelain Factor II (Tsui Hark, 1991, 1992)A Chinese Odyssey: Factor I & II (Jeff Lau, 1994)The Fib of Drunken Master (Lau Kar-Leung, 1994)Crouching Tiger, Quiescent Dragon (Ang Lee, 2000)Star (Zhang Yimou, 2002)Infernal Relatives (Andrew Lau and Alan Mak, 2002)Secret ballot (Johnnie To, 2005)Secret ballot 2 (Johnnie To, 2005)The Ceremonial dinner (Feng Xiaogang, 2006)NEW SurfUnsound Encounters of the Crown Class (Tsui Hark, 1980)The Spooky Tether (Ann Hui, 1980)Job Relations (Ann Hui, 1982)One and Eight (Zhang Junzhao, 1983)Yellow Establish (Chen Kaige, 1984)The Black Firearm Bother (Hu Jianxin, 1985)Sacrificed Youth (Zhang Nuanxin, 1985)The Signify to Be present and the Signify to Die (Hou Hsiao-hsien, 1985)The Foal Criminal (Tian Zhuangzhuang)The Old All right (Wu Tianming, 1986) Peking Opera Blues (Tsui Hark, 1986) The Terrorizers (Edward Yang, 1986) Sovereign of the Juvenile (Chen Kaige, 1987) Red Sorghum (Zhang Yimou, 1987)A Capital of Unhappiness (Hou Hsiao-hsien, 1989)Black Snow (Xie Fei, 1990)Unprocessed Sunup (Li Shaohong, 1990)A Brighter Summer Day (Edward Yang, 1991) Fore Stage/Actress (Stanley Kwan, 1992) The Peach Flush Clear up (Stan Lai, 1992)The Story of Qiu Ju (Zhang Yimou, 1992)Leave-taking My Concubine (Chen Kaige, 1993)The Women from the Fund of Stinking Souls (Xie Fei, 1993)A Borrowed Subsistence (Wu Nien-jen, 1994)NEW InformationChungking Complete (Wong Kar-wai, 1994)Vive L'Amour (Tsai Ming-liang, 1994)Comrades: Almost a High regard Story (Peter Chan, 1996)Complete in Hong Kong (Fruit Chan, 1997)In the Emotional state for High regard (Wong Kar-wai, 2000)The Vulnerable Gun (Lu Chuan, 2002) Kekexili: Dam Law (Lu Chuan, 2004) Nevertheless Subsistence (Jia Zhangke, 2006)For information on the cinema, crowd and endeavors that pressurize somebody into A Century of Chinese Cinema think about it difference of opinion.net/century. Tickets for the shell programmes go on Dutch auction May 21 at 10 a.m. for Clash Members and May 27 at 10 a.m. for non-members. Admission send are available: Confrontational Arts his work on cinema in addition to Chungking Complete, In the Emotional state for High regard and Star has not only brought awards and accolades, but signaled new orders for cinematography in comprehensive. The relations will cargo space hang around opportunities to delight in Doyle's shell work over the way of A Century of Chinese Cinema, but will else cargo space a rare chance to experience Doyle's visual art.Not worth it Then Verbal communication is a long-lasting project exploring the nature of wordless language, an follow to unite and ambiguous Doyle's terrace in a top among cultures and languages. The project is comprised of two multi-channel installations. One installation looks at the five Chinese elements (fire, burrow, air, sluice, wood) unswerving soundtrack organized from a enter of sources in addition to cinema Doyle has win. In the complementary installation, Doyle examines his multipart identities: Christopher Doyle, his limitation name, and Du-ke Feng, the Chinese name under which he recurrently works, cross-examination one new-fangled on detach screens - Doyle calls it "a paying attention of Cinematographer's Conflict Union" - at the same time as a third keep cover showcases a collaged on loan from one sources. Doyle will else present a free live performance of Not worth it Then Verbal communication on June 8 at 10 p.m., expanding the work into a third iteration.The relations is invited to join us for a encouraging route of the act. These 30-minute guided tours revolt June 9 and run weekly on Thursdays at 6 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. in the leading portico. Tours will else be on offer in Cantonese and Mandarin every Sunday at 12 p.m.For information on the cinema, portico hours, crowd and endeavors that pressurize somebody into A Century of Chinese Cinema think about it difference of opinion.net/century.Tribute to the act is free.Extroverted Media:@TIFF NET#CC100TIFFFacebook.com/TIFFConcerning ClashClash is a philanthropic cultural joint venture whose employment is to manner the way people see the world unswerving shell. An international leader in shell instruction, Clash projects augment the annual Toronto Large-scale Adventure Feast in September; Clash Tinkle Lightbox, which admit five cinemas, rudimentary exhibitions, and learning and leisure activity facilities; and spanking national spreading program Adventure Journey. The joint venture generates an annual monetary aftershock of 170 million CAD. Clash Tinkle Lightbox is bountifully supported by contributors in addition to Creation Sponsor Tinkle, the Territory of Ontario, the Judge of Canada, the Capital of Toronto, the Reitman family (Ivan Reitman, Agi Mandel and Susan Michaels), The Daniels Commercial and RBC. For best quality information, think about it difference of opinion.net.
