This is the final scene of the 1999 movie The Big Kahuna. The movie is about three salesmen who are on a business trip together. Over the course of the movie, the trip goes terribly, clients are lost, and the characters end up questioning themselves as well as the meaning of "honest" human interaction.
The scene is beautifully done. Watching the full movie gives it even greater context and meaning as well.
What Danny DeVito's character talks about in regards to equating honesty to curiosity, and how life's mistakes and regrets are what build character are deeply in line with the first section of my book. You can approach women as a human with curiosity. Or you can approach them as a marketing rep, trying to pitch yourself to them. One is a man of character and one isn't. And as DeVito says, a man with character (or attractiveness) has it tattooed across his face -- it's impossible to hide or fake or even demonstrate, as it's always being demonstrated in everything he does.
There's another great scene in this movie where Kevin Spacey's character (Larry, off-screen), asks "Bob," the young evangelical Christian being lectured above, if he and his wife married each other because they loved each other, or married each other because of their principles (religion). Bob is obviously horrified by this question. Larry says something to the tune of, "You're a principled person Bob. Your wife is too. You both stand for something, which is great. But sometimes people don't marry the person, they marry the principles. Are you sure you and your wife didn't marry each other's principles?"
What this all gets to is that to have a true connection and true attraction between two people, one must present oneself honestly. And to present oneself honestly, one must be self-aware, or as DeVito says above, one must have regrets -- one must be aware of one's own faults and have practiced self-forgiveness. Because you can't accept and love the faults in others until you accept and love the faults in yourself.
Rather, you'll only fall in love with their pitch, with their marketing rep; and they with yours. And you will lock each other into a relationship based on principle, not personality.
Source: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com
B"H
Great idea! Deport the gentile neo-nazis! If only we would have had that law when Arafat was still alive... oh, yeah, I forgot... he was a nazi, not a neo-nazi...
M
http://www.israelnationalnews.com/News/News.aspx/123630
by Ezra HaLevi
(IsraelNN.com) Israeli Police have busted a group of Israeli neo-Nazis in the Tel Aviv region and found a gun and explosives. The youths are non-Jewish immigrants from the Former Soviet Union.
Although the nine arrests were made a month ago, a gag order on the case was in place until Saturday night. Police had been investigating over 20 people involved with the group ever since the vandalizing of a large synagogue in Petach Tikvah over a year ago. The neo-Nazis had painted the walls, as well as the insides of prayer books, with Nazi graffiti.
The teenagers are from Holon, Petach Tikvah and even the Samaria town of Karnei Shomron. They reportedly have ties with neo-Nazi groups overseas via the Internet and some boast Nazi tattoos.
When police raided the homes of the neo-Nazis, they found video documentation of dozens of other crimes. The group's members had been found to regularly beat religious Jews and foreign workers in Tel Aviv. One video shows members of the group surrounding a Russian heroin addict and, after the man admits he is Jewish, beating him mercilessly, along with another man who tries to assist him.
The group was also found to have in its possession explosives and an M-16 assault rifle.
The members remain in police custody and an indictment in the case is expected Tuesday.
Police say all the members of the neo-Nazi cell received Israeli citizenship, which grants citizenship to anybody with a third-degree Jewish relative - even by marriage. The policy has come under criticism in the past, with the Jewish Agency coming under attack for continuing to allot resources to recruiting descendents of Russian Jewry to immigrate even after nearly all Russian Jews who wished to leave had done so. In recent years, as high as 40 percent of those immigrating from Russia are non-Jews according to Jewish law.
Interior Minister Meir Sheetrit says, "Giving automatic Israeli citizenship without making any demands is worth zero. We have to change our immigration laws to those of a regular state... Jews from all around the world are invited to live here, but first they must be temporary residents, and prove they are loyal to the State, and only then can they become citizens - and not the opposite."
ADL Defends, MKs Outraged
The Anti-Defamation League, founded to protect Jews from neo-Nazi groups and anti-Semitism, released a hasty statement in Hebrew from its Israel office in defense of the neo-Nazi group. "The youth are angry at Israelis for holding them in contempt and lash out with hatred," the statement said, calling upon Jewish Israelis not to blame all Christian immigrants from Russia for the behavior of a "fringe group."
MK Effie Eitam (National Union) said he plans on submitting legislation that will prevent non-Jews from immigrating to Israel under the Law of Return. The legislation would require matrilineal Jewish roots. "In recent years the State of Israel has become a refuge for people whose hatred of Jews and Zionists burns in their hearts," he said.
The current formulation of the law is based on the early Zionist premise that anyone who would have been considered a Jew under Adolf Hitler's Nuremberg Laws should be considered Jewish for the sake of immigration to Israel.
MK Zevulun Orlev (NRP) and MK Collette Avital (Labor) each said they would also submit legislation that would strip neo-Nazis of their Israeli citizenship and deport them to their countries of origin, after first serving prison terms. Former Interior Minister Eli Yishai (Shas) also echoed the call for deportation, calling the neo-Nazi groups an "erosive cancer" in Israeli society.
Gossip is and will always be a part of the work environment. Whether it's during a quick chat over a morning cup of coffee or a marathon session at happy hour, we've all started or repeated a rumor about someone in their absence. In fact, employees gossip up to sixty-five hours a year at work, according to a July 2002 survey by Equisys. That's a lot of time wasted around the water cooler.Counterproductive gossip and its contagious effects drain people's time and energy, destroy morale, and stifle creativity. Unfortunately, the rise of social media and interoffice technology is making it easier to start a rumor. You don't even need to rally an audience. A harmless IM can spread around the office like wildfire and have serious consequences. But it's not always so innocent. Some people plant rumors just to sully someone's reputation and get ahead. So what are you to do? Can you get ahead without joining the conversation? Is it so wrong to want to feel included, even if it comes at another's expense? Besides, if it's not her, it could be me, right? Wrong. You can survive and thrive without maligning relationships and alienating others. Here's how to deal with gossip without crippling your career.Next Page: If Your Coworker Is A Gossip [page]IF YOUR BOSS OR COWORKER IS A GOSSIP: Let's face it. Gossip is rarely frowned upon. In fact, depending on the company's culture, many offices actually encourage it, especially if there's an insecure boss at the helm. When employers keep secrets from employees, and employees keep secrets from one another, before you know it, the entire office is riddled with backhanded conversation, backstabbing, and conniving. People are so preoccupied with "he said, she said" banter, they lose sight of the bigger picture: a hard day's work. When gossip is used as a way to climb the organizational ladder, relieve pressure, or deal with change, it's difficult to escape. So how do you avoid jumping on the rumor mill wagon without alienating yourself?ZIP YOUR LIPS - Once the gossiper starts tempting you to take part in the chat, refuse to play by saying "I'm not comfortable talking about that." But remember, even if you're simply listening to the gabfest, you're still egging the offender on. You're only innocent if you don't participate at all.TURN THE TABLES - Most gossips try to stay on top of the grapevine to keep attention off themselves. Flush out their insecurities by asking them personal questions about their own love lives, interests, or problems. They may change their ways once the scrutiny is on them. TRUST NO ONE - Women's job satisfaction tends to skyrocket when they work in a cohesive, nurturing environment. But don't be fooled. You may have developed lasting friendships, but if it comes to a coworker choosing between loyalty and job security, which do you think she'd pick? If you feel the need to complain, get with friends who don't work for the same company. DEMAND STRAIGHT TALK - If your boss or coworker gives you honest feedback, there's no need to involve a third party or have to go on the prowl for information. A good leader is transparent and direct, even at the risk of being hurtful and harsh. This goes for employees as well. Your boss is not a mind reader - voice your concerns. Don't resort to whispering in the restrooms! Next Page: If You're A Gossip [page]IF YOU'RE A GOSSIP: We gossip to position ourselves above others. But you almost always look bad discussing someone else's shortcomings. People see you for what you are - an insecure tattletale hiding behind others. And by the way, no one is exempt from being talked about. Not even you. Plus, your loose lips could easily sink your chances of advancement. No boss is going to promote someone who appears to enjoy telling tales. But you can be in the know without talking behind someone's back. So what do you do if you're part of the problem?STOP - Bad habits can be unlearned. So why should you? Being known as the water cooler girl kills your credibility. People will come to you for useless info and nothing more.BECOME TRUSTWORTHY - Confidentiality is king in any business. If your boss doesn't think you can keep a secret, you're less likely to be privy to significant info that affects the organization. If you can't hang with the movers and shakers, how will you get up the ladder? REFOCUS YOUR SKILLS - You've proven you can hold an audience and tell a good story. Why not use your powers for good? Use your social skills to build alliances and relationships that help the business rather than tear it down. UNDERSTAND YOUR EMOTION - Ask yourself why you are participating in the mudslinging. Are you dissatisfied with your job? Are you jealous? Self awareness helps you understand what's behind your words and may prevent you from saying something you'll regret.USE YOUR WORDS - When you withhold info from a coworker to spare her feelings, the truth can fester and potentially blow up at the most inopportune time. You may use the inside scoop as a weapon if she gets on your nerves down the road. Honesty is the best policy. IF YOU PLAY, PLAY SMART - If you absolutely must take part in the gossip, keep it light and tactful. Never say anything you wouldn't like seeing sent around the office with your name attached. Next Page: Why Not Stop The Gossip? [page]WHY DON'T PEOPLE STOP GOSSIPING? Why don't workers recognize their gossip's harmful effect on office productivity? And if they do, what keeps them from putting a stop to it? Gossiping is a vice because it seems like a victimless crime. You don't always see the effects of your hurtful words. Controlling your mouth is even more difficult when your job is on the line. With job security as a number one priority, gossip often becomes fair play if it means getting a leg up on the competition. Here are a few other reasons why cubicles remain breeding grounds for rumors:LACK OF AWARENESS - One of the biggest reasons gossip is so pervasive in offices is coworkers aren't aware they are even taking part. Office babble has become such a natural part of the workday that people fail to see the repercussions. If you need an excuse to fill the dead air, talk about your weekend and not who you saw doing what with whom. PAYOFF - Gossip is a socialization process that binds people together, even if it's in a malicious way. Being part of the "in" crowd (sound like high school?) and having some tidbit to add to the powwow gives a sense of inclusion. And if you're part of the clique, ahem, team, you're more likely to be picked for projects and promotions. Unfortunately, sometimes it's not what you know or even who you know, but how much you know about others that can give you an edge (at least in the short term).RATIONALIZATION - Corporate cultures are more cutthroat than ever. People are made to feel that gossip is a necessary evil and you must be manipulative to survive. You either use it to your advantage or become a victim. FEAR - Many coworkers engage in gossip either to look good or avoid looking bad. You're either doing the talking or being talked about. If you unexpectedly withdraw from the conversation, you could be seen as a tattletale or traitor. Is it worth the potentially alienating side effects? Yes. GOOD INTENTIONS - Is it gossip if you tell everyone that Janie from accounting is going through a divorce? Were you trying to hurt her reputation or just chewing the fat? Intent doesn't matter. Once it's out of your mouth, you have no control over how your listener relays the message. Don't be the source and you'll have nothing to worry about. Gossip is not easy to escape. And it's not all bad. It can help build friendships, build teamwork, and even help new hires get acclimated with the company culture. Plus, some gossip's worth hearing as long as you resist passing it along. But that's where it gets tricky. The best advice is to steer clear of any negative conversations about someone who is out of earshot. That way you won't feel guilty about participating in the gossip grapevine or attract people who enjoy cutting others down. Instead, foster an environment where people feel comfortable talking out in the open about their ideas and opinions. Then there will be no need for gossip in the first place. Source: Games at Work, Mauricio Goldstein [widget:related reads conflict]
I HAVE DRAFTED THIS POST OVER AND OVER TRYING TO FIND THE RIGHT WAY TO EXPLAIN HOW I FINALLY BEAT MY 26 YEAR ADDICTION TO CIGARETTES AND TOBACCO. I HAVE TRIED QUITTING COLD TURKEY MANY MANY TIMES IN MY LIFE ONLY TO FAIL. I HAVE TRIED THE PATCH, PILLS, THE GUM, YOU NAME IT, I'VE TRIED IT (EXCEPT THE ELECTRONIC CIGARETTES) BUT THIS TIME I DECIDED THAT IF I AM GOING TO QUIT I DO NOT WANT A REPLACEMENT BUT A WAY TO FINALLY QUIT FOR GOOD!
NOW, MY QUIT IS STILL VERY NEW SO I AM BEING DILIGENT IN KEEPING AN EYE ON MY TRIGGERS WHICH ARE NORMALLY STRESS RELATED OR EMOTIONAL RELATED. I DID HAVE SOME HABITS LIKE MY FIRST MORNING CIGARETTE WITH COFFEE (BIG ONE!) BUT THROUGH THIS PROCESS, I REALIZED THAT I SMOKED OUT OF BOREDOM..A LOT!
I WOULD HEM AND HAW ABOUT QUITTING AS I STATED IN THE BEGINNING OF 2011 THAT THIS WAS GOING TO BE THE YEAR I QUIT AND STARTED OFF VERY STRONG ONLY TO GO RIGHT BACK WITHIN A FEW WEEKS. ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO I WAS SEARCHING YET AGAIN TO FIND A WAY FOR ME TO 'COMFORTABLY' QUIT SMOKING. LET ME SAY THIS...COMFORTABLE WAS HUGE FOR ME BECAUSE ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THIS KNOWS THAT THIS IS NOT EASY NOR IS IT COMFORTABLE WHICH IS WHY GOING COLD TURKEY NEVER WORKED FOR ME.
THE WITHDRAWAL SYMPTOMS I PERSONALLY WENT THROUGH WERE HORRIBLE AND AS I POSTED ON MY OTHER BLOG THE RAW GODDESS, SMOKING IS AN ADDICTION AND THAT IS THE WAY I TREATED THIS ALL ALONG WITH WHAT I WILL EXPLAIN FURTHER. FOR ME, I NEEDED TO FIGURE OUT HOW THE MIND WORKED IN ACCORDANCE TO NICOTINE ADDICTION SO I WENT ABOUT RESEARCHING THIS AND ON MY WEB TRAVELS I LANDED ON THE WEBSITE OF DR. ANDREW WEIL AND ON HIS WEBSITE HE RECOMMENDED DR. GURGEVICH'S HYPNOTIC TONIC AND FOR 25 I ORDER IT. IT'S A SELF-HYPNOSIS 2 DISC CD SET.
AFTER RECEIVING THIS CD SET AND LISTENING TO IT THOROUGHLY AND WRITING NOTES THIS IS WHAT I DEVISED THAT GOT ME TO QUIT. MIND YOU, THE WHOLE TIME I WAS SMOKING AS THIS PROGRAM HAD ME WEAN OFF CIGARETTES AT THE PACE THAT WORKED FOR ME. HERE IS WHAT I DID:
1) EVERY MORNING I WOULD LISTEN TO A GUIDED MEDITATION DESIGNED TO RELEASE THE HABIT OF SMOKING AND AFTER THAT I WOULD THEN LISTEN TO DISC ONE OF THE SELF-HYPNOSIS SET I BOUGHT. IT WAS A TOTAL OF ONE HOUR OF MEDITATION AND SELF-HYPNOSIS
2) I UPPED MY WATER INTAKE TO DRINKING ABOUT 8-10 CUPS OF WATER A DAY AS WELL AS DRINKING 2-3 CUPS OF ORANGE JUICE A DAY. I CONTINUED TO SMOKE NORMALLY WHILE DOING THIS BUT WITHIN A FEW DAYS I BEGAN TO NOTICE MY CRAVINGS SLOWLY DIMINISHING.
3) EVERY NIGHT I WOULD DO THE SAME THING AS I DID EACH MORNING. ONE HOUR OF MEDITATION AND SELF-HYPNOSIS. I ALSO WOULD DRINK A NICE CUP OF HOT NIGHTY-NITE TEA TO HELP ME SLEEP. I WAS ALSO CONSCIOUSLY WORKING ON LEARNING TO SLEEP BETTER. DUE TO MY MAKING CHANGES, I HAVE DECREASED MY COFFEE INTAKE, UPPED MY WATER INTAKE AND NOW DRINK MORE HERBAL TEAS THAN ANYTHING ELSE.
4) I COMPLETELY CLEANED MY HOUSE, ALL MY CLOTHES AND MY CAR, GOT RID OF ALL ASHTRAYS AND TOLD MY HUSBAND AND 21 YEAR OLD SON TO NO LONGER SMOKE IN THE HOUSE. I NEEDED TO BE FREE OF ANY LINGERING RESIDUE OF CIGARETTE SMOKE AND THE AWFUL SCENT THAT CLOGGED THE FIBERS OF MY CLOTHES. I ALSO DISINFECTED MY HOUSE ABOUT THREE TIMES OVER.
5) I CHANGED TO A BRAND THAT I LOATHED WHICH IS MENTHOL AND BEGAN TO EXPAND THE TIME I WOULD LIGHT UP A CIGARETTE. WITHIN A WEEK I WENT FROM SMOKING A PACK AND A HALF A DAY DOWN TO 8 CIGARETTES. I ALSO KEPT MY CIGARETTES IN VERY INCONVENIENT PLACES MAKING SMOKING MORE OF A CHORE. THE POINT WAS TO 'DELIBERATELY SMOKE' INSTEAD OF HOW I HAVE BEEN LIVING MY LIFE THE LAST 26 YEARS WITH THIS ADDICTION. IT'S A MATTER OF RE-WIRING EVERYTHING I HAVE DONE WHEN IT CAME TO MY SMOKING.
I CONTINUED TO DO THIS UNTIL I GOT DOWN TO HAVING ONLY 3 CIGARETTES A DAY AND THEN FINALLY I JUST STOPPED! THAT'S IT! I NEEDED TO WORK WITH MY MIND AND "*TEACHING*" IT NEW MESSAGES, NEW IMAGES AND A NEW WAY OF LIVING.
I WILL SAY THIS, IT HAS NOT BEEN EASY AND THERE WERE DAYS THAT I JUST WANTED TO CRY BUT OVERALL I HAVE TO SAY THE WAY I DID THIS MADE THIS PROCESS LESS PAINFUL THAN GOING COLD TURKEY. I AM NOW FREE! I AM FREE TO DO ALL THE THINGS THAT I COULDN'T DUE TO MY SMOKING ADDICTION. I AM NOW FREE TO WORK MY BODY IN WAYS I COULDN'T AND LEARN TO LIVE A MUCH CLEANER LIFE!
I CAN NOW CONTINUE WITH CONFIDENCE THE SCHOOLING I HAVE BEEN DOING IN LEARNING CRYSTAL HEALING AND REIKI AND OTHER HOLISTIC PRACTICES KNOWING THAT I NO LONGER LIVE WITHIN A "SMOKE SCREEN" AND FOR MY ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY I AM TREATING MYSELF TO A SPA RETREAT VACATION AS I AM SAVING UP ALL THE MONEY I WOULD HAVE SPENT ON CIGARETTES TO GO TOWARD THIS VACATION. I'M THINKING EITHER HAWAII OR SEDONA, AZ!
I'M VERY PROUD OF ME!
- The Ta'ainvel -
- By Khan -
15.
A few weeks went by and Jonas received his promotion.
Charlotte brushed up on her knowledge on flying and was
soon training with a simulation of the actual pilot
controls. The Humans were both very excellent pilots their
force commander reported to Jante.
A few more weeks went by with little break in routine
and finally, at four p.m. a Monday afternoon, Charlotte for
the first time walked into the bridge as a member of its
crew.
Jante had unconsciously avoided having Charlotte
anywhere close to Ayshala but now he realised that he
hadn't wanted Ayshala to be able to react to the fact that
he loved a Human, another woman.
Now she walked towards where the two, Jante and
Ayshala, stood near the central. The floor was completely
bare, as all three chairs were down in the airlocks beneath
them, red rings where the command stations used to be, and
all of them had a clear view of each other.
Ayshala studied Charlotte with frank curiosity, softly
sniffing the air. She glanced at Jante, and then did what
Jante had hoped for all along but never imagined she would
do.
She stepped forward and embraced Charlotte.
"Be welcome Charlotte," she said warmly to the startled
woman.
"Charlie, call me Charlie," was all Charlotte could
produce.
Ayshala stepped back a little behind Jante and waited.
"Well Charlie. Now you are here. Now you are a pilot.
Nervous?" Jante looked sideways at Charlotte.
"No I'm not nervous at all. Of course I am nervous you
daft cat. Its not every day I get to work as pilot on a
starship."
Ayshala raised an eyebrow at the word 'cat' and several
of the other people working on the bridge turned to look
with amusement at their new commanding officer.
Jante cleared his throat. "Yes, well. Shall we get on
with it then?"
Ayshala responded by speaking a code into her
communication device, then saying "Initiate pilot system,
new functions. Proceed with start-up."
The rear hatch opened with a hiss, letting the command
station rise into the bridge and thud into place.
"Configure system for three pilots, Commander Jante
e'Darin, First pilot Ayshala b'Fairn and Second pilot
Charlotte Westings," she continued.
Charlotte responded to the computer asking her to take
her place at the command station. She sat and placed her
hand on the scanner and the computer reported it had
registered the new pilot. She stepped off the chair and it
sank back into the floor.
"Right, that's that. Now we have two hours left on this
shift, then we're off duty, all three of us," Jante said.
"I'll miss the bridge, I'll admit that," Ayshala said.
"Even if we had the same routine on the way to earth, I
still loved to pilot this oversized tub. Now the
astrogation computer does all the piloting."
"True, its not a fitting place for pilots to spend
their time off the bridge but what can we do," he replied.
"Nothing, for eight more years."
Jante contacted the other ships and received reports
that they also had closed down the pilot section of their
bridge. They had also begun to train a third pilot as they
found the system a clever one. To split the ship's
responsibilities on three was easier on the pilots as well
as on the people living in the ship. On the other two
ships, however, the commanders had decided to retire and a
message soon came to Jante that the commander of the
Handrillian had also decided that her time was up. The
three former starship commanders were still respected and
obeyed but they were no longer sought out for orders.
A year passed and Jante decided it was time to do
something about his and Charlotte's relationship. One night
he took her to the restaurant in the rear dome and after a
pleasant evening asked her to be his Mate.
"Oh, I thought I was already mating with you," she said
with a wry smile.
"You misunderstand. Being someone's Mate is in your
society called being married."
She happily said yes and that night they became Mates.
The ceremony, Jante explained, was ancient and had been
conducted in nearly the same way for thousands of years. He
said it was a return to nature of sorts, a primal mating
ritual.
There was a small garden beneath the Sanctum that was
reserved for this ceremony, a meadow with wild flowers and
several stands of trees. The garden was allowed to grow as
it pleased and was in the eyes of the Ta'ainvel a holy
place.
That evening Jante took Charlotte to the garden. He
took her just inside the doors and removed all she was
wearing except her overall. He carefully let out her hair
that was tied into a bun and allowed it to fall over her
shoulders, then removed all of what he was wearing himself,
except his blue overall. When she looked up she gasped. The
ceiling of the room was five yards above her and made of a
transparent material and through the ceiling she could see
water. The central lake of the Sanctum lay just above and
Jante had opened the huge hatch in between to emit
starlight refracted by the ever-shifting waves of water.
The result was a ghostly light, but not frightening, that
played over the meadow and the trees.
He let the claws of his right hand extend and told
Charlotte to stand still. When she stood there silently
looking at him he swiftly raked his claws beneath a
startled Charlotte's chin. As the overall slid off her in
shreds he quickly made sure he hadn't touched her with his
claws.
Whispering into the darkness he said, "I know you don't
have claws, so just tear the overall off me."
So she did, ripping open the zip that ran down the
front. He stepped out of the overall and leaving it by the
door, and after removing both his and her underwear, took
Charlotte's hand and walked naked across the starlit
meadow. He took her to a spot at the centre of the large
room and motioned for her to sit down. He gave her a small
knife and then lightly cut Charlotte across her cheek with
a claw.
She understood and did the same with the knife. Jante
touched the blood in Charlotte's face and traced out three
lines running down and halfway underneath his own chin with
it. She did the same. He then leaned forward and gave her a
kiss, putting a clawed hand around her neck. With his Mate
in his arms, Jante lay down on the starlit grass.
The ceremony would be simple, he had said, and it was.
When the lights in the Sanctum above started to come on
and lighten the dark meadow, Jante woke from his sleep
beside the naked Charlotte. He gently roused her and took
her hand walking towards the doors out of the garden.
They reached the doors and found two neatly folded blue
overalls lying by the wall.
"There is another part of the ceremony but that is now
more symbolic than needed. There was a Watcher, a person
who saw to the two Mates and that they were not disturbed
by anyone, or anything. Now their task is simple, take the
old overalls and replace them with these new ones."
Jante bent down and picked up the smaller one for
Charlotte, then put the other one on.
"Ayshala asked to be Watcher," he continued, "do you
mind?"
"No, I don't mind. I've know Ayshala long enough to
love her as a sister," Charlotte replied smiling.
She got into the tight overall and when she noticed a
stripe of gold threads tracing the joint between her hip
and her left leg from the small of her back to the crotch
of the overall, she asked about it.
"I have one as well," he replied and pointed to it.
"Its a sign of our union, a sort of wedding ring you Humans
would say."
Outside they found their things as they had left them
and put those on as well. They walked hand in hand through
the lighted corridors towards the bridge.
Reference: relationships-rescue.blogspot.com
I can't believe I'm going to blog about Survivor, today. But I am. And how does this classic reality TV show relate to writing?
Well, on pondering the outcome of the finale on Sunday night, I decided it was a perfect example of why we popular fiction authors write proactive protagonists.
For those of you not addicted to this show, (that I swore I would NEVER watch when I first heard the premise, but find more addictive than crack -- not that I've tried crack, just saying), the final two contestants were Amanda and Pavarti. Two very pretty girls who'd both been contestants on previous seasons and were part of the original "favorites" tribe.
I read a few blogs about the outcome and I think it's fair to say that most fans of the show expected Amanda to win. The final winner is based on a vote of the last 8 people voted off the show before them, and so it's expected that the players who have done the most backstabbing will lose, because the "jury" is raw from just being turfed off and often want revenge. That's the way this show normally goes -- the most liked player generally wins at the end -- and so the contestant who gets the power to choose who to take to that final vote with them, typically takes someone the others don't like, and that's what Amanda did in picking Pavarti. Pavarti had flirted with a bunch of the jury members -- men and women -- she'd lied to just about everyone, and she'd staged a coup against one of the most popular and powerful players, Ozzie, who was so angry he wouldn't even let her talk that night.
Now Amanda, in my mind, was no angel in the game. In her "confessional" interviews, (when it's just her and the camera), I thought it was pretty clear that she had a strategy and was pretty smart about the game and pretty smart about who to trust and who not to trust and how to keep people trusting her. She was good at the game.
BUT... In the final tribal council she made a huge mistake. She decided to play the innocence card. She sat there with her big brown eyes wide open and told people how trustworthy she'd been. How she'd been lucky to be in the right alliance. How she'd only lied to people she believed had lied to her. How she'd been really loyal to the people she'd given her word to.
While Pavarti took the opposite tack. She owned up to all her devious actions and, in fact, took more credit for the powerful "women's alliance" forming than I thought she deserved. I know we only see what the producers/editors want us to see, but it seemed to me that Cirie and Amanda were both pretty big players in orchestrating the amazing blindsides these girls pulled off. But Pavarti took the credit/blame. Even as everyone they'd tricked was spitting venom at her, she just sat there, didn't get defensive, and said, "Yes, I did it. I fooled and tricked you all."
And it worked. In spite of everyone saying how much they hated her, the majority of them voted for her to win the million.
Why? I think it was at least in part because Amanda cast herself as the passive character. The one who sits back and lets things happen to her. This let Pavarti take clear hold of the active role. The one who makes things happen.
And the cast, the jury, the people voting, didn't see what we'd seen at home. They hadn't heard Amanda scheming behind their backs as we had. They hadn't seen her taking action. (Except maybe with Erik, but that was so funny, no one except Erik would hold it against her.) So, they believed that Amanda had been passive most of the game and gliding along on the Pavarti ride. And they went with the woman of action.
And I took that as a good lesson for why readers like active characters.
See? It ties in.
Post Script (that I could probably fit in above if I weren't too lazy to do some editing, but I really must get back to my manuscript...)
This outcome was also a lesson about not letting your protagonist cry. I think Amanda's tears, that many took as false the night she chose Pavarti over Cirie, really worked against her. Fresh from seeing her acting job in tricking Erik, many questioned the sincerity of her tears, plus they made her seem weak. Now, I'm a big crier myself, but readers don't generally like their main characters to cry. Just saying.
The British wedding website, CONFETTI.CO.UK, surveyed 4,000 couples to find out at which point in their married relationships they are happiest. CAROL RICHARDSON, the website's spokeswoman, claims that married couples are at their happiest 11 months and 8 days after their wedding. Hmm, that's pretty specific. Is it all uphill from there? The website also discovered that the secret to the having the happiest time together is being there to share the special moments; it does not involve lavish gifts or grandiose gestures. And after 2 years and 4 months pass, couples enjoy their best sex, most romantic meals and nights out with friends. Hmm, I wonder if this survey included couples with kids... And the most successful married couples spend upwards of 24 minutes a day having a heart to heart each evening and don't go to bed after an unresolved argument. Personally, I think these stats are ridiculous because there are no specifications of kids or other circumstances (HUSBAND SPENDS WEEKS AWAY FROM HOME, THEY LIVE IN THEIR PARENTS BASEMENT, ETC.) and absolutely no realism involved. How can they conclude a married couple's uber-happiness down to the day? Recommended books (downloadable pdfs):Martin Seligman - Authentic HappinessHg Wells - Secret Places Of The HeartDr Peter Davies - Hopes And FearsLabels: married woman dating a married man the body language bible dating advice third date body language love dating advice man body language percentage david deangelo advanced dating techniques how to arouse a woman teen dating alpha male names
Origin: pickup-techniques.blogspot.com
