Thursday, December 25, 2014

Its Not A Conversation Anymore

Its Not A Conversation Anymore
This is the final scene of the 1999 movie The Big Kahuna. The movie is about three salesmen who are on a business trip together. Over the course of the movie, the trip goes terribly, clients are lost, and the characters end up questioning themselves as well as the meaning of "honest" human interaction.

The scene is beautifully done. Watching the full movie gives it even greater context and meaning as well.

What Danny DeVito's character talks about in regards to equating honesty to curiosity, and how life's mistakes and regrets are what build character are deeply in line with the first section of my book. You can approach women as a human with curiosity. Or you can approach them as a marketing rep, trying to pitch yourself to them. One is a man of character and one isn't. And as DeVito says, a man with character (or attractiveness) has it tattooed across his face -- it's impossible to hide or fake or even demonstrate, as it's always being demonstrated in everything he does.

There's another great scene in this movie where Kevin Spacey's character (Larry, off-screen), asks "Bob," the young evangelical Christian being lectured above, if he and his wife married each other because they loved each other, or married each other because of their principles (religion). Bob is obviously horrified by this question. Larry says something to the tune of, "You're a principled person Bob. Your wife is too. You both stand for something, which is great. But sometimes people don't marry the person, they marry the principles. Are you sure you and your wife didn't marry each other's principles?"

What this all gets to is that to have a true connection and true attraction between two people, one must present oneself honestly. And to present oneself honestly, one must be self-aware, or as DeVito says above, one must have regrets -- one must be aware of one's own faults and have practiced self-forgiveness. Because you can't accept and love the faults in others until you accept and love the faults in yourself.

Rather, you'll only fall in love with their pitch, with their marketing rep; and they with yours. And you will lock each other into a relationship based on principle, not personality.

Source: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com

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