Is Your Ex Leading You On

While the decision for a couple to part ways is often mutual, often times one person remains committed to the relationship while the other feels it has run its course. This type of situation can lead to a messy breakup with lots of hurt feelings. It can also lead to post-breakup ambiguity about where both partners really stand. In some cases the partner who decided to end the relationship is not really ready to let go of it, and keeps the other party holding on to hope.

To be fair, this is not always done with malicious intent. It can be very difficult to let someone go who you once cared for very deeply, and who you know still cares for you. Even though things were bad enough to prompt the split, it is easy to see why many people would be hesitant to cut the lifeline for good and move on.

HAVE YOUR CAKE AND EAT IT TOO

While some may only have good intentions in keeping their ex in the game after a breakup, others have more selfish reasons for doing so. They may just be shopping around for better offers while keeping their ex around as a backup plan in case there are no other takers. This may sound cruel, but it happens all the time, and it is something that you must be aware of if you ever find yourself on the wrong end of a breakup.

WHAT TO LOOK FOR

When you are emotionally invested in a certain outcome it can be very difficult to see things with any clarity. Even if your ex is merely jerking you around, you will want to give him the benefit of the doubt to keep your own hopes of reconciliation alive. Keeping that in mind, there are certain signs that your ex is merely leading you on, and that it is probably time for you to move on:

"FLIP FLOPPING":

This phrase is usually reserved for political candidates, but it applies here as well. If your ex treats you with love and respect one day only to ignore you completely the next, odds are they are merely playing games and taking you for a ride.

"KEEPING SECRETS:"

Is your ex secretive about what he is doing and who he is hanging out with? This is a telltale sign that he is engaging in activities he does not want you to know about and is probably dating other people.

"CONFLICTING STORIES:"

If you learn that your ex is telling his friends one thing and you another, he is clearly trying to hide his true intentions from you. Without honesty there is little chance of a healthy reconciliation.

"DRUNK DIALING:"

Does your ex only want to see you at 2:30 in the morning when he is drunk and lonely? This is usually the final nail in the coffin, and a sure sign that he is just keeping you on the line for selfish reasons.

Letting go is never easy, but if your ex is exhibiting one or more of these sings, it is probably the best thing you can do for yourself and your own future happiness.

Credit: gamma-male.blogspot.com