Tired Of Feeling Numb

Hi I just posted my introduction in the new members area, and I'll continue here... As I mentioned in the intro, I've struggled with depression for a long time now. I recall it getting worse when my mom passed away while I was in college, but I remember feeling depressed long before any of that happened. I've been in a relationship for several years now, and I had some serious relationship problems with my girlfriend before seeking treatment. I would frequently cause fights just for the heck of it. Well I've been on Cymbalta for a few years now, and I was in a group up until I moved several months ago, and I have done better overall after starting treatment. After the first year of treatment my relationship was improved tremendously and my GF and I got married. Fast forward to moving a few months ago. I settled in alright and I have made some good friends in my new town. I do hang out with people and have fun sometimes, so I know I'm not in as deep a depression as I have experienced in the past. I do feel very "flat," however. Sometimes I feel like I'm just going through the motions, doing what I know I should do, displaying the "emotions" I should have. Sort of like Dexter I guess. I do genuinely laugh at jokes, and I can feel sad if I hear or see something that is really bad. But again, I'm very flat in general. My reactions to happy events are always very very subdued. I struggle to feel really strong emotions toward people, even though I have a logical attachment to them. I know many people are subject to wild swings in their mood, and some are thrust deep into a pit of despair for years on end. That's not really where I'm at right now. I'm just a little low, with hardly any swings in any directly. I feel like I have a big wide unemotional expression on my face. Feeling this way has definitely affected my motivation, drive and energy. I have gotten back into exercising, which is a big help, especially with fatigue, but I still have serious motivation issues. I keep pondering new avenues and directions in life, probably in an attempt to find a way to make myself happy. But without much of a drive to follow my hypothetical dreams, I tend not to follow through on my research. I think, I dabble, but I don't follow through. Anyway, that's enough of a wall of text for now. The summary is I've felt really flat for quite a long time, and I'd really like to experience my emotion. I'm tired of going through the motions in life, and not being driven by passion, feeling and drive, but instead always by the rational mind.