Optimism The Power Of Negative Thinking

(This is the second in a series of blogs on Using Positive Psychology in Coaching Social + Emotional Intelligence) The Power of "Negative "Thinking? What's up? Consider this scenario. You're coaching one of your favorite clients. They have something really big they want to achieve and you are supporting them. You're pulling out all the stops. You have them picture what their life will be like once they achieve their goals. You ask them to visualize every detail. Where are they sitting? Who is with them? What's around them? Are their toes in the warm sand? Are their fingers wrapped around the leather steering wheel in that hot new car? Can they just hear the applause and see the standing ovation after that big speech? You ask them to imagine what it will "feel" like once they've accomplished this big goal - actually, even more than "imagine" what it will "feel" like, you ask them to try to really experience the feeling of it. What are those feelings? Will they feel proud? Confident? Elated? Exhilarated? Good emotional intelligence coaching, right? You have them visualizing and actually "feeling" the emotional tug of accomplishing the big goal. This positive imagery and the associated positive feelings will really help them feel motivated and inspired, right? Well... not so fast. According to research conducted by Gabriele Oettingen at New York University, visualizing and even feeling what it will be like to achieve our big goals and dreams in life can actually backfire. Huh? Well, the visualization and emotional pull can help at first, but over the long run, it can trick the mind into relaxing, as if all the hard work has already been done, and the emotional energy we stir up initially around achieving the goal can actually trickle away. People can actually become complacent. In one of Dr. Oettinger's studies, students enrolled in a computer-programming knew they had to excel in mathematics in order to succeed in the program. All the students had high hopes and a great determination to excel in math. The students in the program were separated into three groups. In the first group (the "indulging group"), the students were asked to name (and write down) four positive aspects associated with excelling in mathematics (e.g., feeling proud, getting a better, higher-paying job, getting more job offers to choose from, etc.). In the second group, (the "mental contrasting group" - see below), the students were asked to name two positive aspects of excelling in math, and two obstacles to reaching their goal in alternating order (e.g., I'll get a better, higher-paying job, but I might get lazy and not do the work. But I'll get lots more job offers, but then again, I might get distracted). The third group (the "dwelling group") was asked to think through and write down four negative aspects of not excelling in math. (e.g., I'm not smart enough, I don't have the time to study, etc.) Ugh. The teachers in the program tracked the students' performance for two weeks following this exercise and "graded" the students on how much effort each student had invested over the ensuing two weeks in excelling at mathematics. Only in the second group, the "mental contrasting" group, where the students considered both the positive AND the negative aspects of achieving their goals, did the students earn the grades needed to achieve the goal of excelling in math. Not only did they get the grades, they exerted the effort needed, and they also felt far more energized toward the goal compared with the students in the other two groups. The students in the first group, the "indulging group" who were asked to imagine only the good aspects of success felt only moderately energized, demonstrated only moderate effort, and earned only moderate grades, despite their high expectations for success. Same for the students in the third group, the "dwelling group" who were asked to think only of the negative. They too felt only moderately energized, showed only moderate effort and earned only moderate grades. Students in the first group actually felt de-energized after visualizing their success would come so easily. Many became complacent. And those poor students in the third group never felt energized from the start. Many other studies confirm these findings, including studies on learning a second language, finding work/life balance, smoking cessation, and various other goals related to self-improvement. Those who simply fantasize about their goals actually feel less energetic about them and end up achieving fewer goals. One study of mid-level managers at four hospitals in Germany was particularly interesting. One group of managers was trained in the mental contrasting technique (explained below) and one group was not. Two weeks after the training, those who had been through the training achieved far more of their short-term goals than their colleagues who did not attend the training. They also found it easier to make decisions about how to use their time - another benefit of mental contrasting: by thinking realistically about the obstacles to success, we pick goals we are actually likely to achieve and avoid wasting time on projects that will not get us to our goals. So what is this SELF-REGULATION Strategy of Mental Contrasting? Mental contrasting requires two steps involving both "positive" and "negative" thinking and emotion. We want to ask our clients (or ourselves) to: 1) Imagine the attainment of the desired future or goal ("positive thinking") in vivid detail, and then 2) Reflect on current reality and the obstacles which may stand in the way (the aforementioned "power of negative thinking") This process helps people be "realistic" in determining whether they can achieve a goal or a desired future state, and whether they can make the commitment to do so. When the feasibility or expectation of success is high, people commit strongly to attaining the goal; when feasibility is low, they are far less likely to form a commitment to a goal (their goal commitment is weak or simply non-existent). Mental contrasting is therefore a useful tool in helping clients with "REALISTIC OPTIMISM", selecting goals that are attainable. In the process, they reserve their energy and personal resources (time and money) for the goals they "can" achieve. An additional benefit of mental contrasting is that it requires individuals to think of the obstacles (or the negative aspects) that could get in the way of goal attainment so they can plan in advance how they can remove those obstacles. In sum, it helps to have an end goal in mind, and a clear vision or picture of what that goal will be. Vision, purpose and direction are vital to our success. They get us to our goals. But we also need to engage in "mental contrasting" - realistically thinking of the negative and the obstacles that could get in the way so we can plan for them. We need to think about where we want to be, and realistically where we are now. Interestingly, this process ends up actually energizing us "more" toward goal attainment than simply fantasizing and solely engaging in positive thinking. Optimism is more than hope and positive thinking. I don't wish to diminish hope. Hope is important. Without hope we have nothing. But optimism is more than hope. Optimism is about being realistic about the work involved, and about taking action, and about overcoming obstacles. Optimism involves considering the negative as well as the positive. So, give this mental contrasting technique a try for yourself. Think about something big you would like to achieve and write down at least three benefits of success. Then reflect on and write down at least three things that could get in the way. Going through this process helps us direct our motivation and energy where it's needed most, and also helps us determine whether a particular goal is truly feasible or simply not in the cards. What are your thoughts? Have you tried reaching a goal simply by visualizing success while not considering potential roadblocks? Did it work for you? Were you successful? Have you ever tried mental contrasting? How did "that" work? Our new course, Using Positive Psychology in Coaching Social + Emotional Intelligence starts this Thursday, March 7. Positive Psychology is first and foremost a science. While it's "nice" to believe in the power of positive thinking, the science indicates more is needed. Mental contrasting is just one of over a dozen evidence-based Positive Psychology techniques we will be reviewing to support our practice of Coaching Social + Emotional Intelligence. Come join us this Thursday to learn more! Register here