Quite and exciting week all around really. The dates are picking up fast, sure god love me! So you know the way people claim that organic is better for your health? It's not. Last week, as reported after a normal date, and when I say normal I mean farmed, luckily I had earlier planned an exit strategy from it and I went to the pub to meet my friends. Again I can't say how important an out from a date is! So while with my friends and determine not to waste the fake tan I had slapped on, I employed the bar blocking method, never heard of it? Sure why would you! So the idea is much like fishing, you cast your net as far as possible. It's also economically sound in the current environment. Here's how it works. You stand at the bar and block as much of the surface area as you can, easier for some people, believe me. That way guys have to try and get past you, and you have the opportunity to engage with them. I always take the time to complaint about the service etc. Works like a charm. If you're very good at it you can score yourself more than a drink!So there I was bar blocking for Ireland and I met date 23. Very confident. I had more than a few drinks on me so I was feeling a little extra tolerant at this stage and let's face it I had my Vodka Visor running on full power. Everyone goes up more than a point or two as my brain.... let's say.... puts them in soft focus. After a few drinks I was full of the joys of life and really coming up with some ground breaking stuff for society in general.He was chatting away and so when he asked for my number I said ok. Probably. So the next day I woke remembering that I had met someone but I couldn't quite recall what he looked like! You see with online dating at least you can have a quick look on their profile and you're good to go. However in real life you must try to remember what ones date looks like. So we text and organised to meet after work.Now you'll forgive me on this date, I had no clue what he looked like, so I became a crazy person staring at every man I saw. Wondering is that him?....eh I hope not. I decided that actually drinking in this case might help in identifying him. In the end I decided to look at the floor until he came to me, which he did.Now this dude was a bit of a west brit, which I didn't actually remember. However in his case instead of it being a case of 'bring the horses around front James'. It was a case of 'bring your hair around front James'. Now I know that men are sensitive about baldness. But when your hair line looks like one of those toilet mats that has the space cut into it for around the toilet bit, it's time you looked at the problem.
You know what they say guys. If you're going bald from the back you're a thinker, if you're going bald from the front it's sexy. Sadly if the two meet in the middle you just think you're sexy. The point that I'm getting to at any rate is shave it! Believe me I would rather clean tiles on the floor than scraps of carpet. I know, I'm a witch but why to men try and hold on to what's gone? Unless you're Wayne Rooney for god sake do us a flavour and shave it!So the conversation was good but he was a rather intense fellow. There were lots of hand gestures and other facial movements. I'm not knocking the guy for that but if he was telling me a story and got distracted and started telling me something else he would then apologize for "deviating". In the end the only people that wanted to deviate was me! Once again the only thing that proved is that men caught offline are no better than the ones online! I guess to be fair it could have been worse. At least he hadn't fathered a child since last week!
Reference: art-of-kisses.blogspot.com
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