Bishop Believes Shes Beautiful

It's safe to say that many teenage girls walk into high school with dreams of popularity, good grades and fairy tales of love and school dances. This is the myth of the "happy American teenager." Kelly reminds us that life is more complicated. She says that she has never even thought of herself as popular, but she was voted onto Rock Island's homecoming court. She has been selected as valedictorian and she is an accomplished athlete on the swim team. I would have to agree that she is living the "The teenage dream".. But what draws me and others to Kelly isn't her smile, or her medals, but her kind heart. Those who nominated Kelly for the cover of this issue described her as the kindest person they have ever known. I learned there is far more to Kelly than her contagious energy and hard work ethic. She courageously tells her story of discipline and self-discovery, while shining a light on her struggles in high school. THE INTERVIEW: LG: DID YOU HAVE AN EATING DISORDER DURING FRESHMAN YEAR? Kelly: I was very disciplined and hard on myself, but it had not developed into a problem. Swimming was the most important thing to me at that time and I had not discovered it as a way to escaped pressure. I was very harsh on myself, I would eat seven chips and feel bad if I had eight. I would tell myself that was too much fat and now I wouldn't swim as fast. I would look at myself and say, 'you're a size four now, its ok, you are a freshman and it's muscle.' It was ok if it was for swimming. It was not a healthy view of myself, but it was not a disorder. LG: DURING YOUR SOPHOMORE YEAR WHEN YOU WERE DEALING WITH YOUR EATING DISORDER, WAS THERE EVER A GOAL, OR WAS THE GOAL CONTROL? WAS THE GOAL PHYSICAL OR WAS IT EMOTIONAL? KELLY: It was both. I wanted to conquer my own body. I could go days without eating if I wanted to, just because I wanted that sense of control over myself. I wanted to feel like I was tough and I was above eating anything. It is a way of feeling powerful. It is a way of not feeling emotions. It's also a way that can leave you really lonely. I was also very harsh on my body, because at a young age I developed a muscular build and I was always a bit self-conscience about it. I saw girls who were giggly and thinner and I thought that they were happier just because it seemed to me at the time that they had it all. They had the bodies that all the magazines supported. It seemed their lives were happier, more simple and I wanted that for myself. LG: AT THAT TIME, WOULD YOU HAVE DEFINED THOSE GIRLS AS BEAUTIFUL? KELLY: Yes LG: At that time would you have defined yourself as beautiful? KELLY: No. LG: How would you define beauty now? KELLY: Beauty is so much more than what people see on the outside. I know some people who are not beautiful by magazine definition, but who are some of the most beautiful people I have ever met, not just their personalities, but physically also. I truly believe that how people are on the inside is how we see them on the outside. I want girls to know that if they are reaching for the things that make them happy, then they will be beautiful. I want them to know that it's ok to not be perfect and it is ok to fail at things sometimes. It's all part of life. It is healthy and normal and it is all part of happiness. LG: Would you describe yourself as Beautiful now? KELLY: Yes. "Only God is perfect. So everyone else might as well get over it."

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