Premarital Counseling Tips

SAN DIEGO PREMARITAL COUNSELING TIPS BY JAN RAKOFF

PREMARITAL COUNSELING is very a healthy step for couples to take before they engage in their life long commitment to each other. Quite often couples without critical issues engage in premarital counseling in an effort to better understand what it may take to pursue a healthy relationship. This type of enlightenment aids couples in uncovering many tools for creating a sturdy foundation. To create this foundation it takes quite a bit of hard work.

I find that most experienced couples have unearthed this realization. However, many couples misallocate the true meaning of work; attributing their efforts towards dealing with the problems as they arise. While this type of mediation needs to occur, it is vital that a relationship is attended to daily. Without attentive relationship maintenance you will likely find yourself fighting the same fires. If you only water a flower every time it wilts it may be enough to keep it alive, but you may never see it bloom. With that idea in mind, lets explore some simple premarital counseling ideals that can help grow your relationship.

1. GIVE LOVE A CHANCE!

Relationships are often ignited through the kindle of love and romance. For this reason we often overlook paying attention to this aspect of the relationship. As time moves on, that passion turns to embers and we need to refuel the fire. Many couple's first thoughts when presented with this notion is to turn to their sex life. While this can be one way to communicate your positive feelings for each other, sex does not exhaust the demonstrations of love.

In fact just focusing on sex can create negative connotations to your partner, making them wonder, "Is this all we have." Sex is just one of the forms we have for communicating our love. Just as sex can be an avenue for communicating love so can pretty much any aspect of your daily life. Transform your daily routines into acts of thoughtful behavior. Simple expressions of love can go a long way. A note on the door, taking over a chore, making your partners favorite meal are all great examples that can really demonstrate your care and appreciation for your partner. You will be very well surprised how taking a little extra time to care can really make your partner feel special.

2. THOSE WHO PLAY TOGETHER STAY TOGETHER

Life comes at us quick and there are so many obligations we need to juggle that we often forget about spending time together. Between the job, the house, the chores, and a social life where is the time? While all those things are very important you must realize that your relationship needs to be a top priority as well. It cannot sit back seat to the rest of your life and expect that it will just maintain itself.

Another rationalization I hear couples who live together get themselves in trouble with is, "But we spend plenty of time together, I mean we live together; how could we not?" Spending time together and spending quality time together are two completely separate things. To spend quality time together you should plan something you both enjoy and have FUN together! It shouldn't be a chore either or an obligation. Plan something you both can get excited about and do it together. Those good experiences help strengthen a relationship by reminding you of all the good times you had together and what you can still have.

3. PRIDE IS WORSE THEN THE CRIME

Unfortunately disappointing your loved one is an inevitable part of a relationship. It is important to recognized that we all make mistakes. Do not assume just because your relationship has its troubles that it was never meant to be. Where we really find ourselves digging our grave is from the pride and justifications we hold onto.

No matter what has happened in the past or what is going on now you must take responsibility for messing up. Show your partner you have made a sincere effort to take responsibility and repair the damage to your relationship. When I say "sincere" I mean it. Do not start or end an apology with excuses.

Take responsibility for what has happened. Present that situation in such a way that your partner can feel that you have taken ownership of the disappointments and that you regret the actions that were taken. This type of vulnerability and self-insight goes a long way in healing wounds that have been created. If conflicts are left unattended the wound can fester and infect the rest of your relationship.

CONTACT A PREMARITAL COUNSELOR

These premarital counseling tips are guidelines to help enlighten your perspective on your relationship. Without an active awareness we can overlook simple relationship communication needs hindered by the monotonous aspects of everyday.

Further more the tips above are a broad guide to strengthening your relationship. They will not apply to every situation. Each relationship their issues are unique and can quite often be very complicated. Every couple can benefit from premarital counseling, whether they are experiencing serious issues or not. If you are interested in receiving more information on how a premarital counselor could help improve your current state please do not hesitate to contact me at 858-481-0425.

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