Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Free Dating Websites
Monday, May 21, 2012
The Problem Of Speaking Up
By Roy Masters
Author of "Hypnotic States of Americans"May 22, 2012
NewsWithViews.com
[Adapted from Chapter 7 of my book The Secret Power of Words]
Once you are committed to Truth, you may be saddened by the loss of those you considered to be your friends, but you will no longer need their ego support. Once you stand up for what is right, you will find that you can reverse the wrong direction your life was taking as the result of going along with the crowd. But you "must" speak up. Your life, and theirs, may depend on it.
You grow up and have surrounded by a sea of words. You and all the other persons in your particular part of the system use words to express shared values, and you tend to accept uncritically the connotations and nuances of the words as they are expressed within the tight circle of your own environment. Should you suddenly start to see the world by a new light, however, you will start to use the old words in a new way, and to question the assumptions they have always conveyed to you and the others in your group.
The minute you start to use words to break out of the old mold, you will find that even those persons who are closest to you will not be the least bit interested in breaking their old accustomed habit patterns of thought. In effect, you will be sounding the call to battle between fiendship on one side, and friendship on the other; and it would be best not to expect any of the latter.
If you fail to speak up, you remain trapped in a supportive relationship with what is wrong in your environment, and that relationship, in turn, supports what is wrong in you. As long as you derive any comfort from the "perks" available to those who don't rock the boat, you remain unable to develop mentally, emotionally, and spiritually toward the state of perfection for which you were originally created.
Speaking up changes friends into enemies, and thus it introduces into your life a new element of stress, pain, and persecution, which, correctly handled, will call up in you the proper measure of virtue you will need to deal with the pressures. The inner light that illuminates reality and spurs you to speak up will answer your need to cope with an endless infilling of patience and courage.
The Scripture expresses it perfectly: "Blessed are you when men shall revile you and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely for my sake... for great is your reward in heaven." Something new and blessed that could not otherwise exist comes to life in you. By speaking up in a timely way, you set yourself at variance with the forces you once went along with. You not only threaten egos as you throw out a challenge to them, but you also put a distance between them and yourself. You will be like a spy whose presence in the camp has been suddenly discovered. People's attitudes toward you will change, and hostility will become your new environment. Your enemies won't know it, of course, but they will be doing you a favor by providing the stress you need in order to grow in the secret and special way of the blessed.
Isn't it strange and wonderful? This new stress of overt, unabashed hostility is the very stress you were trying so hard to avoid by catering to your associates and yielding to their influence on your daily affairs!
Being friendly is the weakling's subtle way of trying to "control" his fierce adversary. But how can anyone continue to live in agreement with wrong, and still hope to develop a strong character? Can a bullfighter make friends with the bull and still hope to become a great matador? No! Until he sees the bull as his adversary, he will be unable to call up the courage and skills he will need to win. Danger is to courage what temptation is to virtue.
So it is with you. Your honesty, becoming visible, sets you apart from disease-producing, soul-debilitating friendships. Being rejected and persecuted will awaken your need to seek comfort only from the God-source within.
Your words will threaten word-sensitive egos and disturb an intellectual concept of world order in which they take comfort, and upon which they depend for survival. They will immediately try to confuse you, but even if your knees are knocking together, you must stand firm. You will feel weak and afraid, primarily because your former nature drew a great deal of confidence from being in agreement with those you now see to be your enemies. Prepare yourself, for the moment you speak up, you will break all the old bonds. When you withdraw ego-support from your "friends," they will withdraw their ego-support from you. When they do, you may feel alone and vulnerable, even guilty. Why is it so hard to speak up? It is because you are tearing at the matrix, the birthplace, of your own wrong nature. You feel as though you are being cruel and unkind.
As long as you cling to any kind of support, you are unable to make the vital transition to Truth that will free you. But once you make a commitment to Truth, you will become bolder and bolder; having abandoned your old ego props, you will discover the greater power of Reality. Each new truth, openly championed, snips another subtle point of attachment and releases you from the unreasonable grip of friendships and passions.
As you become more objective, you will find yourself standing patiently outside the crowd, within an intuitive, protective circle whose borders you must never cross again. Within this circle, you will grow and flower into the real person you were meant to be, slowly but surely developing confidence to overcome all the problems that have sprung up through your past failures to deal with the adversary.
There are those who were born to be rotten, and they love every minute of their abandonment to rottenness. But there are others who want to be decent but cannot find their way because they are acting in a kind of compulsive sympathy with the only world they know, the rotten world around them. And because the things they do as the result of their bondage often appear to be acts of love and friendship, they fail to discover the way to their real identity, and the good life they yearn for eludes them.
Like it or not, if you take your motivation from the affections of the world, the world will get inside you. The people, places, and things we cling to and need to motivate us can indeed make us come alive, but as animals rather than as people. The conflict you feel within is trying to tell you about another form of motivation, one that is not based on clinging to people, places, and ideas, and is thus not of the devil. We cling to the outside world only to serve our own selfish ego needs, but doing so is what changes us and enslaves us to the source, making it our god. We cannot truly oppose what we need.
Right is a relationship with God, the inner ground of our being. We cannot enjoy that relationship until we are willing to let go of our "friends" and take our stand on that ground, let the friends fall as they may.
In our relationships with others, it is entirely possible to seek to do the right thing with a wrong motive; but if your motive is wrong, the effect will also be wrong. It is absolutely impossible to do the right thing with the wrong motivation: greed, for example, or an attempt to compensate for guilt feelings. When the shoe is on the other foot and you are on the receiving end, you can actually feel the invisible emanations of a wrongly motivated manipulator, even though he seems to be doing good.
Until you return to the right source for everything you do and say, all your apparent "good deeds" will backfire. The ideals of goodness conjured up by your carnal selfish mind cause you to do things that bring on family problems and lead, eventually, to death.
Being kind, too kind, to your children, for instance, is the symptom of some unrecognized guilt that you hope to resolve by changing your image in your children's eyes and manipulating their love in your favor. To relieve your guilt in this way requires you to practice little tricks of deception regarding your own worth, often with great displays of affection, and always by doing more for them than wisdom would dictate.
The primary negative effect of selfish love is long-term, in that you set up your loved ones to be easily deceived and manipulated by others long after you have left the scene. The next negative effect is the one you have brought on yourself. No matter how hard you try, you cannot shake the guilt you feel for being a manipulator. Knowing deep within yourself, perhaps not even consciously, that you are a fraud, not to be trusted, you have to work harder and harder to get people to trust you enough for you to feel at ease with them. You try to plant such a good image of yourself in the people around you that you can somehow buy it back from them for the reassurance your ego needs in order to "look the world in the eye." Your compulsive efforts to obtain the good opinion of others backfire, of course, in the sense that, along with their good opinion, you get the impact of the soles of their shoes as they wipe their feet on you. (Or, to put it another way, plums that are ripe for the picking are bound to get picked.) You begin to see that you are being used and clung to by a pack of freeloaders taking advantage of your "goodness," so now you may not be able to stop "giving of yourself," but you do so resentfully. And by now you surely must know that resentment leads inevitably to guilt. So there you go again, trying to get rid of the guilt by playing the martyr, spoiling everyone rotten and suffering the results of their rottenness until you have become such a battleground of love and hate that your only "escape" is a nervous breakdown.
When the battle between good and evil that has been raging within you finally drives you to the bottom of the pit, all the "experts," self-anointed or credentialed, gather around to pick over the wreckage of your limp and battle-scarred self. By now, of course, you have completely lost control, both of the "real" self (over which your hold has always been tenuous at best) and the "mask" self that you have been presenting to the world for its approval.
Indeed, you feel so completely naked and vulnerable that you may give your "saviors" credit for seeing and understanding more than they are capable of seeing and understanding. They may actually be more transparent to "you" at this point than you are to "them". For now, you see those persons whose approval you so cravenly sought, those whose love could help you, start to make their various, often confusing, pronouncements on your condition and toy with your helplessness, all the while giving you more and more reason to judge them. And as long as you are compulsively related to them, rather than to the Savior within, you are at their mercy.
(To Be Continued in Part II.)
Friday, May 18, 2012
Marriage96Gnw
Copyright. All rights reserved.
http://www.usgwarchives.net/copyright.htm
http://www.usgwarchives.net/mo/mofiles.htm
File contributed for use in USGenWeb Archives by:
Ronald J. Reid rreid21@cox.net September 11, 2007, 9:22 pm
The Liberty Tribune 1863
MARRIAGES IN CLAY COUNTY MISSOURI
The following marriages appeared in The Liberty Tribune, Liberty, Clay County, Missouri during the year of 1863. Some the marriages did not occur in Clay County. The date of publication is shown prior to the item(s).
Jan 16, 1863:
At Platte City, Mo., on the 7th inst., by the Rev. Mr. Cope, R.P.C. Wilson, Esq., of Leavenworth City, and Miss Carrie F. Murray, only daughter of John D.
Murray, Esq., of the former place.
Feb 27, 1863:
In this county on the 19th inst., at the residence of the bride's father, by Squire D.J. Adkins, Mr. Andrew J. Wilson, to Miss Martha A. Collins, daughter of Simeon Collins, Esq., all of Clay county.
Were it not for the "union of hearts" this world would indeed be a desert without a single rose. It is the uniting of hearts and the joining of hands, that gives life its zest, and in the communion of hearts we enjoy a foretaste of the bliss of the eternal city, where all is love. May the happy couple, who have thus joined hand to hand and heart to heart, be visited lightly with the sorrows of this life, but together go down the vale of time, their pathway strewed with flowers, with no clouds to obscure their sun, which now so brightly beams in this the morning of their life and love. A "Greenback"
received.
Mar 20, 1863:
In this county, at the residence of the bride's father, on the 12th inst., by Prest. Thompson, Mr. Geo. W. Mothershead, to Miss Lucinda Ann, daughter of John A.S. Major, Esq.
Poor George! We knew him well. Such is life! A single man to-day - a married man to-morrow. We long expected our young friend would get his name in the papers, and at last he's done it. Well, George has done well, and between you and I, is now the better or the worser half of one of the prettiest, and sweetest maidens that ever danced a minuet or stood before the altar and "spoke the fitting word." Long may they enjoy "love's young dream," and their affections ne'er grow old.
Silver dollar received
April 24, 1863:
On April 7th, near Paradise, in this county, at the residence of the bride's father, by Rev. A.F. Payne, Mr. William Hall to Miss Mary Fry.
On the 9th inst., near Paradise, at the residence of the bride's father, by the Rev. George Owen, Mr. James Faddis to Miss Mary Wade, (after wooing her ten years.)
Mar 13, 1863:
Married in Carroll county on the 24th ult., Mr. Wm. L. Ligon to Miss Mildred Thomas.
Mar 20, 1863:
Married, on the 5th by Elder Payne, Mr. Duff Duncan, of Clinton county, to Miss Mollie Davenport, daughter of Col. Rice B. Davenport, of Clay county.
Sep 4, 1863:
On the 20th of August, by the Rev. R. Scott at Locust Grove, Clinton county, Mr. Charles H. Lincoln to Miss Angie D. Smith.
Sep 11, 1863:
In this county on the 17th inst., by Judge James M. Jones, Mr. George J.
Cockrell, of Kansas City, to Miss Martha J. Mereness, of Clay County.
Oct 2, 1863:
In this city, on Tuesday, the 29th ult., by Judge James M. Jones, Mr. Nathan D.
Tarr, to Mrs. Lina B. Potter, all of this city.
We confess the receipt of a little shining bit of ore, impressed with the image of the "Goddess of Freedom," and on the reverse wher is stamped 1 Dollar.
We hope kind Heaven will shower the richest blessings upon the happy pair, and guide them only thro' the rosy paths of peace and connubial felicity.
"How near is he to happiness
That earth exceeds not? not another like it.
The treasures of the deep are not so precious
As are the concealed comforts of a man.
Locked up in woman's love. He scents the air
Of blessings, when he comes but near the house,
What a delicious breath marriage sends forth!
The violet-bed's not sweeter."
In this city, on the morning of the 29th ult., by the Rev. Father Kennedy, Mr.
Rhodham Guylfoil to Miss Mary Fuller, all of this county.
Nov 20, 1863:
At the residence of the bride's broth-in-law, Judge J.M. Jones, on Wednesday morning the 18th inst., by Elder R.C. Morton, Capt. Jos. H. Riccards, of the
12th Missouri Cavalry, to Eliza J. Graham, of this city.
Again we have been gladdened by the arrival of one of those little angels - whose visits are now, indeed, so few and far between-a bright, glistening silver dollar. Thanks - all thanks - to the happy, rosy pair who have just plighted to each other their mutual love. Beauty and chivalry do well agree - the warrior's manly form and the lady's graceful figure are fitly mated; and if we were a poet, we would sing as 'twas sung at Alexander's feast - "None but the brave deserve the fair."
"And what unto them is the world beside,
With all its change of time and tide?
Its living things - its earth and sky.
Are nothing to their mind and eye.
And heedless as the dead are they
Of aught around, above, beneath;
AS if all else had pass'd away,
They only for each other breathe;
Their very sighs are full of joy
So deep, that did it not decay.
That happy madness would destroy
The hearts which feel its fiery sway."
At the residence of the bride's father, in this city, on Thursday morning, November 19th by President Thompson, Mr. Ambrose M. Griffith, to Miss Maggie E.
Smithey, daughter of James Smithey, Esq., all of this city.
Nov 27, 1863:
On Wednesday, 12th Nov., by Eld. J.W. Luke, at the residence of Mrs. Rives, near Elk Horn, Ray county, Mo., Mr. Robert Offutt, lately of Platte county, to Miss Nannie Allen, of Ray county, Mo.
Dec 18, 1863:
In this city, on the 15th inst., at the residence of Mrs. Hunt, by Prest.
Thompson, Mr. Richardson Terrill to Miss Henrietta Jacobs of Clay county.
In this county, on the 17th inst., by President Thompson, Mr. Samuel White, of Platte co., to Miss Mary M. Cathcart, of Clay county.
File at: http://files.usgwarchives.net/mo/clay/newspapers/marriage96gnw.txt
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Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Charlene And Albert Enjoy All The Fun Of The Circus In Monte Carlo
Charlene's apparition at yet unorthodox high profile Monaco rationale will profile suppose her royal love strength be preparing to eventually put back into working order down. An deed this go out with would sympathetically agree with them all celebrating pioneering birthdays, with the South African swimmer exit 30 on January 25 and Albert celebrating his 50th on Rod 14.
The prince certainly seemed functional to make solid his girlfriend was having a good time, detention an observant eye on her as they applauded the acts inside the big top.
Meanwhile, his sister Stephanie was in her share out. The princess - who is take precedence of the rationale - is one of the quite good upper limit enthusiastic clique, and unvarying vanished specified months touring Europe with a quite good troupe having the status of seeing fib trainer Franco Knie in 2000. She with enjoyed a relationship with Portuguese trapeze artist Adans Lopez Peres, the eldest son of an acrobat-clown and a flamenco dancer.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Forge Your Own Path Through Life With These Helpful Leadership Tips
Friday, May 11, 2012
Thirty Major Causes Of Failures How Many Of These Are Holding You Back
Look at work proved that present-day are thirty grotesque reasons for failure, and thirteen grotesque principles for the period of which people squirrel away fortunes. As you go over the list, wedge yourself by it, point by point, for the place of discovering how frequent of these causes-of-failure stand amid you and success.
UNFAVOURABLE Incorrigible Milieu. Display is but infantile, if anything, which can be perfect for people who are natural with a deficiency in demur power. This philosophy offers but one method of bridging this weakness-through the aid of the Master Head. This is the only one of the thirty causes of failure which may not be physically corrected by any society.
Rigor OF A Snappish Manage IN Scenery. Display is no inclination of success for the person who does not develop a elemental place, or faultless goal at which to aim. Ninety-eight out of every hundred of make somewhere your home, whom had no such aim. Perhaps this was the grotesque dump of their failure.
Rigor OF Direct TO AIM Exclusive MEDIOCRITY. We meet the expense of no inclination for the person who is so uninterested as not to want to get ahead in life, and who is not willing to pay the price.
Too little Circumstances. Miracle has proven that the best-educated people are recurrently make somewhere your home who are memorable as "self-made,"plied. or self-educate. It takes further than a college degree to make one a person of education. Any person who is clued-up is one who has literary to get whatever he wants in life without violating the responsibility for of others. Circumstances consists, not so knowingly of art, but of art, but of art fine and actively feasible. Men are lucrative, not totally for "what they show, but further categorically for what they do with that which they show."
Rigor OF Self-control. Monitor comes for the period of dignity. One requirement control all uncomplimentary qualities. Earlier you can control sit out, you requirement first control yourself. Self-mastery is the hardest job you will ever lecture to. If you do not repress self, you will be subjugated by self. You may see at one and the especially time moreover your best friend and your greatest opponent, by stepping in forefront of a mirror.
ILL Health. No person may delight aloof success without good checkup. A number of of the causes of ill checkup are subject to mastery and control. These, in the mainstay are:
a." Overeating of foods not conducive to checkup."b. Shocking habits of thought; benign features to negatives."c. Shocking use of, and over arrangement in sex."d. Rigor of wholesome physical exercise."e. An short gather of crispy air, due to profane flesh and blood."
Vital Natural INFLUENCES Because of Babyhood. "As the identify with is distorted, so shall the tree grow." Highest people who develop unfair tendencies acquires them as the halt of bad feel, and profane associates modish former.
PROCRASTINATION. This is one of the furthermost customary causes of failures. "Old Man Procrastination" stands indoors the darkness of every human being, waiting the short vacation to slaughter one's probability of success. Highest of us go for the period of life as failures, to the same degree we are waiting for the "time to be right" to beginning doing whatever thing money-spinning. Do not complete. The time will never be "just right." Hurdle where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may develop at your control, and better tools will be commence as you go fluff.
Rigor OF Continuation. Highest of us are good "starters" but poor "finishers" of whatever thing we begin. Also, people are prone to give up at the first signs of sadden. Display is no different for target. The person, who makes target his watch-word, discovers that "Old Man Momentary failure" recently becomes lethargic, and makes his leisure activity. Momentary failure cannot cope with target.
Hypercritical Single. Display is no inclination of success for the person who repels people for the period of a uncomplimentary personality. Success comes for the period of the application of power, and power is attained for the period of the establishment pains of unusual people. A uncomplimentary personality will not timely reinforcement.
Rigor OF Under control SEXUAL Throw. Sex strength is the furthermost turbulent of all the stimuli which move people into action. Having the status of it is the furthermost turbulent of the emotions, it requirement be primed, for the period of transmutation, and transformed into unusual channels.
Uninhibited Like FOR "Whatever thing FOR Not any."The gaming instinct drives millions of people to failure. Information of this may be commence in a study of the Fortification Line of traffic relax of "29, modish which millions of people tried to make headquarters by gaming on set precincts.
Rigor OF A Vigorous Particular Order OF Result. Men who lob variety decisions severe, and change them, if at all, very lethargically. Men who fail, variety decisions, if at all, very lethargically, and change them unendingly, and rapidly. Inconclusiveness and procrastination are twin brothers. Somewhere one is commence, the unusual may commonly be commence also. Eliminate off this pair ahead they like a dream "hog-tie" to the treadmill of failure.
Shocking Diversity OF A Chum IN Matrimonial. This a furthermost customary dump of failure. The relationship of marriage brings people in detail into contact. Unless this relationship is kind, failure is actual to make. Also, it will be a form of failure that is speckled by sadness and sorrow, destroying all signs of coerce.
Untouchable Conspiracy.Thon is as bad as under-caution. The person who takes no probability, generally has to construe whatever is no more subsequently others are for the period of choosing. Over-caution is as bad as under-caution. All are unrestrained behavior to be mysterious against. Scenery itself is ample with the ingredient of leave.
Shocking Diversity OF Associates IN Industrial. This is one of the furthermost customary causes of failure in passion. In marketing personal services, one necessitate use great care to television an employer who will be an ingenuity, and who is, himself, clever and successful. We mimic make somewhere your home with whom we finger furthermost closely. Amount an employer who is characteristic emulating.
SUPERSTITION AND Radicalism. Superstition is a form of fear. It is also a sign of complexity. Men who lob keep open minds and are anxious of nothing.
Shocking Diversity OF Future. No man can lob in a line of assignment which he does not like. The furthermost essential step in the marketing of personal services is that of selecting an task into which you can provisions yourself wholeheartedly.
Rigor OF Awareness OF Employment. The "jack-of-all-trades" irregularly is good at any. Twirl all of your pains on one "faultless director aim."
THE Mannerism OF Halfhearted Eating". "The wasteful cannot lob, intensely to the same degree he stands yet in "fear of destitution." From the showing off of ordered abiding by putting say a faultless sovereigns of your measures.
Rigor OF Zeal. Fault liveliness one cannot be effective. Also,, liveliness is communicable, and the person, who has it, under control, is generally educate in any group of people.
Haste. The person with a "closed" mind on any subject irregularly gets ahead. Haste sort out that one has congested acquiring art. The furthermost evil forms of devotion are make somewhere your home with devout, racial, and supporter differences of opinion.
Intemperance. The furthermost evil forms of excess are central with eating, strong drink, and sexual activities. Surplus in any of these is depot to success.
Failure TO Cooperation Between OTHERS. Exclusive people lose their positions and their big opportunities in life, to the same degree of this attention, than for all unusual reasons flagrant. It is a attention which no scholarly passion man, or leader will explanation.
Buy OF Order THAT WAS NOT ACQUIRED. (sons and daughters of well-off men, and others who assent headquarters which they did not earn). Order in the hands of one who did not fasten it little by little, is recurrently depot to success. "Brisk Change" are further shaky than destitution.
Deliberate Dishonesty. Display is no different for exactness. One may be provisionally injury by potency of glory over which has no control, without irremediable sin. But, present-day is "no inclination" for the person who is injury by aristocratic. Sooner or subsequent to, his undertakings will bring up with him, and he will pay by deficit of given name, and almost certainly in a row deficit of freeing.
Selfishness AND Grandeur. These qualities give up as red lights which divulge others to keep not in. "The are depot to success."
GUESSING More readily OF Thought. Highest people are too uninterested or torpid to fasten records with which to think sincere. They support to act on "opinions" shaped by supposition or snap-judgments.
Rigor OF Metropolis. This is a customary dump of failure in passion for the first time, without payment separate of assets to rivet the depress of their mistakes, and to conquer them over until they develop duration a given name.
In these thirty grotesque causes of failure is commence a representation of the debacle of life, which obtains for categorically every person who tries and fails. It will be neat if you can timely individuality who knows you will to go over this list with you, and help to appraisal you by the thirty causes of failure. It may be expert if you try this supporter. Highest people cannot see themselves as others see them. You may be one who cannot.
The oldest of admonitions is "Mn, show thyself!" If you retail upshot gloriously, you requirement show the upshot. The especially is true in marketing personal services. You Must show your strength in order that you may call attention to it subsequently selling your services. You can yourself only for the period of exact analysis.
Extract from Napoleon Appear "Table and Ranch Dense"
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
When She Plays Hard To Get 7 Tactics To Help You Get The Girl
Reference: pua-celebrities.blogspot.com
Teenagers And Depression Medications
Like of the uncomplimentary stuff that sometimes befall because teens take antidepressant medications, frequent heath care providers will insist a form of healing former truly writing any prescriptions for antidepressants. Accurate of the reasonable side stuff that leave behind because teens take for certain forms of depression medications cover an increases bet of suicidal sentence and direct additional episodes of punitive depression. In attendance are frequent reasons that effect teens to experience depression. Accurate of these reasons cover drastic life changes including the harm of a loved one, sickness, family problems, financial issues, divorce, relationship problems and additional. Teens that are utmost on the cards to experience depression are teens with low spirits, inhabitants that argue in assistant professor as well as inhabitants who are regularly wounded of harassment and far afield verbal or physical attacks from peers or direct adults.
Adolescents AND Drum in MEDICATIONS:
Like so frequent teens are at bet for experiencing depression, some form of embargo and treatment penury be not rushed to rebound a depressed teen from steal a drastic allocation like suicide or far afield forms of violence near others. The best way to rebound depression in your teen is to watch for the warning signs. Common of these signs of depression despicable significance end or gain, trouble having a lie-down, indifference, poor reflective performance, signs of being bullied, feeling crack and fruitlessness, stretched out periods of perturb, peevishness, sleepiness, end of involve, examination concentrating as well as suicidal sentence or tendencies. If a teen begins trade fair these signs, it is first to get help right away. In view of the fact that some parents nation think a capsule like an antidepressant would be the easier fix to help bring about their teen out of a depression, teenagers and depression medications don't continually mix. In view of the fact that stage are a couple types of depression medications that are given away to treat depression in teens, utmost truly effect the situation to annoy. Like teens are experiencing an up and down put of emotions continually, frequent types of antidepressants don't work well with these emotional changes. In fact, the depression medications can truly effect the depression symptoms to annoy.
In some belongings somewhere teens breakfast been treated with depression medications, the teens breakfast worsened to the point of committing suicide. Like these are make emotions and cautious hormones mental wellbeing care professionals are vigorous with, utmost won't want to take a bet and prescribe a restore to health that might truly be harmful to the emotional rebirth of the teen. Like of the uncomplimentary stuff that can effect with teenagers and depression medications, frequent wellbeing care professionals will try for scale methods of treatment quite. Common of these cover the basic form of healing. Regularly times, healing is one of the utmost effective ways to treat depression for teens and adults of any age. Common teens nation morally need a stronger pipe to let go of these lenience emotions of perturb, anger and anxiety about life.
Exploitation AND SOLUTIONS FOR Discouraged TEENAGERS:
To find the best treatment solutions for your teen, it is first to grant with a mental wellbeing care professional to show which method of treatment to take. Past with frequent depressed adults, some teens find successful treatment for their depression with a combination of quick antidepressant restore to health treatments and healing prepared person or group counseling. Accurate of the utmost effective depression medications that are endorsed by the FDA are regularly used in these combination therapies. Accurate of these antidepressants cover Paxil, Zoloft, Celexa, which are not rushed the utmost successful to be used in teen depression. However, if teens are grief-stricken from a combination of depression and anxiety, some of these restore to health nation not work, or will effect the symptoms to annoy. This is why it is first for parents to get their teens to a great degree diagnosed. If the teen has been exhibiting signs of depression for at smallest two weeks, it nation be time to go into steal them to a psychologist, fall, or cringe to be diagnosed.
Sources: nlm.nih.gov, helpguide.org, livestrong.com
Sunday, May 6, 2012
How To Stop Being Manipulated In A Relationship
Manipulation is a behavior in which one person tries to change the mind of another person without confronting them directly.
Manipulators use deception, trickery and threats to get what they want, from people who are willing to give in to them.
Now all of us don't fall for the tricks of a manipulator all the time.
But there are instances when all of us can fall prey to manipulation, especially when we're being used by someone we love and really care about.
[Read: 12 subtle signs you're being manipulated by someone you love and don't even know it!]
The easiest way to see it is by understanding the way you feel around a person.
When you feel powerless in the presence of someone, there's a good chance that you're being manipulated by them, whether you realize it or not!
MANIPULATION IN A RELATIONSHIP
The first thing you need to understand is that people get manipulated, not because they're weak, but because they truly believe they stand to lose something by not giving in to this person.
And it's most common in romantic relationships where one partner always gives in to the other partner just to please them *or to avoid offending them*.
Are you in a relationship with a partner who's manipulative?
It's not easy to recognize the signs of a manipulative lover, but it always starts with requests that soon turn into veiled threats, which eventually turn into outright abuse over time. [Read: 10 signs to recognize a selfish person and 5 steps to stop them from hurting you]
WHY ARE MANIPULATIVE LOVERS SO MANIPULATIVE?
In most cases, a person's manipulative behavior is acquired from the people around them, usually their parents or other people that they've grown up with during their formative years.
If you were growing up and see that your mother avoided confrontations with your father, but always got what she wanted by subtly tricking him with manipulation and deceit, you may start to believe that manipulation is a much better way to deal with a problem and avoid confrontation at the same time.
When you grow into an adult after being exposed to this kind of manipulative behavior as a youngster, you may start using manipulation to get what you want, especially if you believe you don't stand a chance of getting it with outright aggression or confrontation.
And that's how a manipulative person's mind works. They avoid direct confrontations, and instead of going against someone to their face, they use subtlety and trickery to convince someone into doing something for them, without ever opposing them to their face.
Each time their manipulation works, they're more convinced that manipulation and deceit is a much better option than outright confrontation. [Read: 20 signs you're a people pleaser who may turn into a manipulative person very soon]
WHY ARE YOU THE UNLUCKY ONE TO END UP WITH A MANIPULATIVE LOVER?
People with manipulative tendencies are drawn to people who lack assertiveness. If you can't say 'no' or have a hard time stopping yourself from doing favors for someone even if you don't want to do it, in all probability, you'd be drawing manipulators like moths to a warm flame.
If you lack assertiveness in your personality, you'd have the tendency to bring out the manipulative side in any of your lovers or the people you date. Initially, your partner may use flattery or plead with you to get things done their way. But as they get more and more confident, they may use blatant aggression to frighten you into submission! [Read: 21 signs of emotional abuse your partner may be using on you right now!]
THE THINGS MANIPULATORS DO TO MANIPULATE AND USE YOU
Manipulators use different ways make you feel insecure and guilty, and make you give in to their demands. They may withhold information from you to make you seem unimportant, they may blatantly lie to you because they know you don't have the courage to question them back, they may play the victim's card by talking about how sad and pitiful their life or workplace is, or they may force you to take sides by bitching about someone you trust or picking flaws in them, and eventually convincing you that they're the only person you can trust in this cruel world.
The tricks manipulators use could be many. But it's all done to bring just one effect. They want to break your morale, make you completely dependent on them, and convince you that you need them more than they need you.
And this combination is the perfect recipe for a manipulator to turn you into soft putty each time they want to use you or abuse you! [Read: 16 abusive relationship signs of a devious lover]
HOW TO STOP BEING MANIPULATED IN A RELATIONSHIP
It's very easy to know how to stop being manipulated in a relationship. But it's extremely hard to bring yourself to make the change.
It all starts with acceptance. You need to realize that you're a victim, and you need to realize that you need to change forever because you don't stand to gain anything by being used by everyone around you.
Each time you accept to do something when your mind silently screams 'no', you're giving another person an opportunity to use you and manipulate you. And over the years, you'd only lose your self esteem and feel smaller and weaker each time you find yourself getting used and manipulated. [Read: 15 types of toxic relationships to stay away from!]
14 WAYS TO STOP GETTING MANIPULATED IN A RELATIONSHIP
If you truly want to stop being manipulated in your relationship, you need to learn to take a stand and believe you're worthy of your partner. Use these 14 ways to change for the better and stop getting manipulated by your lover.
#1 YOU'RE THE VICTIM. Realize that you are a victim. Use the frustrations, the anger and the resentment you feel each time you feel manipulated and try to convince yourself to act on your partner's behavior. Tell yourself that you deserve a better life that's full of happiness and not deceit and trickery. Believe in the strength you have, and realize that you do have the power to say 'no' if you choose to. [Read: 16 ways to deal with your partner's controlling and manipulative behavior]
#2 COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER. Talk to your partner and explain how you feel each time you feel manipulated in the relationship. Remember, sometimes your partner may not realize themselves that they're manipulating you to get what they want. Confronting them will give you the courage to decline them *because you've explained your need to decline their requests when you feel manipulated*.
#3 RECOGNIZE THEIR EMOTIONAL BLACKMAILS. Keep an eye on the way your partner tries to manipulate you. Do they try bullying you, intimidating you, or do they say something that makes you feel weak and want to give in? Try to pinpoint the signs that make you feel vulnerable and used in the relationship.
#4 TAKE A STAND. You may not be ready to say 'no' just yet. But you could at least take a stand when you don't feel like doing something, right? If your partner asks you for something you don't wish to do, explain yourself calmly and tell them why you don't wish to do it. You may feel really awkward the first few times, but your confidence will grow and you'll regain your strength each time you say 'no'. [Read: How your self respect affects the way you see your relationship]
#5 PRINCIPLES IN LIFE. Sit down by yourself and ask yourself what you're willing to accept and where you want to draw the line. By setting boundaries and having clear principles in life and knowing when to stop doing favors for someone, it'll help you recreate a whole new 'you' who's more confident and clear about what's right and what's wrong.
#6 LEARN TO BE ASSERTIVE. Learn to say 'no', read self help books that can motivate you and help you take a stand. Remind yourself that you're an adult and no one has the right to manipulate you or bully you into doing something you don't want to do.
#7 GET YOUR INDEPENDENCE. Most lovers who get bullied in a relationship allow it to happen only because they believe they are dependent on their partner. So learn to be independent in all ways *social, emotional and financial* so you can have the strength to stand on your own feet again and reclaim your life.
#8 RESPECT AND LOVE YOURSELF. If you don't love yourself and believe you're awesome, there's no way you can ever stand up for yourself. You need to realize that you're not a pushover. Stop giving people the opportunity to use you by being firm and following your principles. [Read: 11 steps to fall more in love with yourself with every new day]
#9 DON'T GIVE UP. It's very hard to make such a big change in your life, but it's not impossible. Don't give up and don't stop hoping for a better life. You're the only person who can stop you from a better life. So even if you fail and fall prey to emotional manipulation now and then, don't give up. Just try harder the next time around.
#10 BUILD A SUPPORT SYSTEM. If you're being manipulated by your lover, build a small support system with your family or your close friends. Meet them often, stay busy in your own life, and when you have a hard time confronting the manipulation, use the help of your support system.
#11 GET STRONGER. Each time you find the strength to say 'no' to someone, be it a salesperson, a coworker, or even your partner, take a moment to experience the high and control over your life you feel right then. And use this strength to feel stronger and more in control of your own life.
#12 DON'T LET IT GET TO YOU. Don't let your partner's bitter remarks, their expectations and the mean things they say get to you. Doubting yourself is the easiest way to lose control of your own life. Turn a deaf ear to anything that you perceive as negativity, and just believe in yourself.
#13 DON'T FALL PREY. Don't fall prey to their pleas, false excuses or lavish gifts. When a manipulator feels like you're slipping out of control, they may try really hard to please you or win your affection back, just before they ask you for something. But this is when you need to avoid falling into their trap. As convincing as they may seem, be strong and don't give in to their demands, even if you feel obligated because they're being so nice to you. [Read: 16 signs why you're so easily taken for granted by everyone]
#14 DON'T LET THEM BEAT AROUND THE BUSH. Most manipulators never get straight to the point. They always talk about all the things they've done for you, or they promise you something special, and just when you seem really happy, they try to get something out of you.
Remember, they want to put you in an awkward spot so they can trick you into doing something. Don't let that happen. If you sense a request coming, ask them to be direct and tell you what they want.
#15 WALK AWAY. Living with a manipulative partner is like walking on a minefield. You can't relax, you can't just love them for who they are, and you'll always have to be on guard. And that's not really the recipe of a happy relationship, is it? If you can't feel carefree and happy in your lover's arms, is it worth staying in the relationship?
If your partner doesn't try to change even after you've given them enough chances, walk away for good. Chances are, their manipulative behavior is too deeply ingrained in their mind to ever change. And you're better off leaving the relationship, than letting this person break your spine and your morale, which would only lead to you getting used and manipulated by everyone else in your life.
[Read: 15 subtle but shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]
USE THESE 15 STEPS ON HOW TO STOP BEING MANIPULATED IN A RELATIONSHIP TO CHANGE YOUR PARTNER AND RECLAIM YOUR LIFE. AFTER ALL, HOW CAN YOU EVER BE HAPPY IF YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR OWN LIFE?
Source: street-approach.blogspot.com
Thursday, May 3, 2012
Getting Together With Ex After A Break Up
Each of you have to be able to concede that you were and are wrong about things. You have to be able to admit that without trying to justify everything. When you try to justify mistakes you made you are essentially making up excuses. Just be able to admit it and move on to correct it. It will likely take both of you working together to overcome your mistakes. It is a partnership that both of you are going to have to be invested in 100% but the commitment level from both of you needs to be totally equal.
It is very easy to think that it is the other person that has to do the work. It is too easy to let one person do the work. If it is just one person who is doing the bulk of the work in this reconciliation effort, it most likely is going to fail. It took two to make the relationship or marriage take place originally. Repairing the relationship is going to take both of you together. You have to struggle together for there to be a life together at all. This is something that you should have known when you first got together and it is something that you have to know for it to work from here on out.
If you are the only one of the two of you who thinks that getting back together after a break up is a good thing, then it is only you who is going to be putting forth the effort. It is sad to say but if it isn't both of you wanting it and working towards it, it may be a fruitless endeavor. This doesn't mean that you shouldn't try, it just means that you will have a monumentally tough time making this work. It is hard enough getting back together after a break up when two of you are working for it. Getting back together after a break up on your own may just take a lot more patience and perseverance.
Again, it will be difficult no matter what. What is going to help with the success of it is making sure that you have a good support system. If you have friends and family who are not only encouraging you but helping you, your chances of success just grows.
Origin: young-pickup-artist.blogspot.com
Free Online Dating Join Free Sites And Have Fun
You can have a lot of fun online dating. You can meet people who will become your friends and those who may become more than friends to you. Many people have met their significant others on an online dating service. Internet dating can be fun, but you have to make sure that you follow these simple rules:
Remember That It Should Be Fun First
Instead of going into the dating avenue thinking that you are gong to meet the man or woman of your dreams, why not embark on this venture by looking at it like an adventure of fun. This way, you will not be leading yourself into possible disappointment. Look for fun instead of being serious and you will find that not only will you have more fun, but those who you meet when online dating will also have fun.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
Put on a recent photo of yourself on your online dating profile and be honest about your expectations as well as yourself. If you expect others to be honest with you, you have to get the ball rolling by being honest with others. Remember that honesty is the best policy and you will have quite a bit more fun.
Do Not Ignore Your Instincts
If you meet someone who does not seem quite right, trust your instincts and do not proceed with the relationship. By all means, do not get into a car with a person who does not seem quite right. While most people who you meet on the online dating sites will be those who are trustworthy and safe, you always have to protect yourself. Your instincts are there to protect you, do not ignore them.
Have A Public Meeting
On the first meeting, and until you feel comfortable with the other party, it is best to meet in a public place. You can meet at a coffee shop for a brief period of time to see if you get to like one another. Some people meet for the second or third time before they trust the other individual enough to get into a car with them. When meeting someone online dating or even in the grocery store, you have to be careful to protect yourself. Do not put yourself in to a dangerous situation.
Treat Others As You Would Have Them Treat You
If you find that you do not like the person who you met on the dating site, you should not hurt their feelings. There are stories about people who left others in restaurants or coffee shops, to their total humiliation. Remember that what goes around comes around and treat others with the same respect you would want afforded to you.
You can have quite a bit of fun when online dating. Make sure that you follow these suggestions to make sure that you have fun as well as anyone else who comes into contact with you. Remember to let your personality shine through and you will be a delight to everyone you meet, and most of all, you, yourself will have fun.
With these tips in mind, you can't go wrong. Go with the right attitude and you won't regret it when you truly find love online. Look at Free Online Dating or Online Dating for more details on where to join free.
Origin: dating-coach-anita.blogspot.com
